While you shouldn't feel obligated to stay with him, try to talk to him. It sounds as if he admits that there is something more going on with him. Maybe plan a nice weekend away together? I mean this by plan it together, and when you take it, no cell phones, computers, nothing linking you back to your (and his) situations. Leaving the stress behind might do wonders, and it will allow the two of you to spend time doing intimate, couple-y things that may not be sexual, but could lead to that. I would also reccomend trying to go to a counselor together, so that not only could the two of you talk about the issues with the paternity suit, but you could both see the others' point of view when it comes to the lack of sex. Having an objective, professional to hear you two and give you advice might, again, be helpful.
As for monogamy... Everyone who knew me was surprised that my boyfriend had waited as long as he had to have sex with me. We were both virgins, 18, living on campus, and I was scared to death of the idea of being so emotionally and physically vulnerable (I was also working through some self-confidence, depression related issues, which he helped me with). Now, I see how painful that must have been for him, and I am so grateful that he stayed with me when we were literally sleeping together but not having sex for over 4 months.
Different situation though, and as I said, if you can't work through it together, you definitely deserve a better, more functional relationship.
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Date: 2006-12-12 05:25 am (UTC)As for monogamy... Everyone who knew me was surprised that my boyfriend had waited as long as he had to have sex with me. We were both virgins, 18, living on campus, and I was scared to death of the idea of being so emotionally and physically vulnerable (I was also working through some self-confidence, depression related issues, which he helped me with). Now, I see how painful that must have been for him, and I am so grateful that he stayed with me when we were literally sleeping together but not having sex for over 4 months.
Different situation though, and as I said, if you can't work through it together, you definitely deserve a better, more functional relationship.