I hope you don't mind, but this intrigued me, so I asked my mate for his thoughts. Boy and I saw this matter a bit differently.. Myself tending to echo __recidivists sentiments, but a bit more harshly.. but I see the bad in everything, and from what little you've put down, theres no real way to gauge this against the relationship as a whole..
myself, I think his methods (it sounds as if he's trying to force you, nearly) are deplorable. if its simply a biological need, worseso. eh..but its the male perspective you might actually have soemthign to gain from, so relevant excerpt of his will go below..
(censored SN): well, i feel sorry for the guy. sure, his behavior isn't the best, but like she said, she knows him to be a nice guy. sex is.. well, the meaningful kind anyway, is something not just instinctual, but a need for the heart. i mean, the guy wants only her -that- much so it must be an expression of how much he loves and sees only her right? again alluding back to the stated fact that he's usually a nice guy. (CensoredSN): maybe she can go without intimacy forever, but that makes me wonder if she really loves him as much as she thinks. cause like we know, intimacy is an even deeper form of affection and expression of love for one another. like you've said, it's as close as we can get to really melding together. i don't really understand how she can not want to express her love the same way.
Of course, boys a very idealistic sort, and tries to see the good in everything.. so try to be objective, and make sure it actually applies.. eheh. for the record though, he disagreed with the manner he acts out in quite severely. Your post is quite brief, and it's hard to gain any real truth of the relationship from that, so don't be offended by my/our reservations.
We're far from experts in this though.. so.. just..you guys need to talk this out, and he needs to recognize that its your body, your say, and he WILL damn well respect it. You however, need to be -honest- with him. If you dont want a sexual relationship, don't let him believe one is a possibility. That isn't very fair. (which is how it sounds, from the post..if not, then void! though talking is still a good idea)
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Date: 2006-10-09 06:59 am (UTC)myself, I think his methods (it sounds as if he's trying to force you, nearly) are deplorable. if its simply a biological need, worseso. eh..but its the male perspective you might actually have soemthign to gain from, so relevant excerpt of his will go below..
(censored SN): well, i feel sorry for the guy. sure, his behavior isn't the best, but like she said, she knows him to be a nice guy. sex is.. well, the meaningful kind anyway, is something not just instinctual, but a need for the heart. i mean, the guy wants only her -that- much so it must be an expression of how much he loves and sees only her right? again alluding back to the stated fact that he's usually a nice guy.
(CensoredSN): maybe she can go without intimacy forever, but that makes me wonder if she really loves him as much as she thinks. cause like we know, intimacy is an even deeper form of affection and expression of love for one another. like you've said, it's as close as we can get to really melding together. i don't really understand how she can not want to express her love the same way.
Of course, boys a very idealistic sort, and tries to see the good in everything.. so try to be objective, and make sure it actually applies.. eheh. for the record though, he disagreed with the manner he acts out in quite severely.
Your post is quite brief, and it's hard to gain any real truth of the relationship from that, so don't be offended by my/our reservations.
We're far from experts in this though.. so.. just..you guys need to talk this out, and he needs to recognize that its your body, your say, and he WILL damn well respect it. You however, need to be -honest- with him. If you dont want a sexual relationship, don't let him believe one is a possibility. That isn't very fair. (which is how it sounds, from the post..if not, then void! though talking is still a good idea)