Date: 2006-03-15 08:39 pm (UTC)
you should not be having sex if you don't want to. it's very likely that your lack of libido is related to the rape. it can take a long time to recover from a traumatic experience like that, and you shouldn't try to rush yourself.

also, you've had sex 3 times while you've only fooled around a little? i would definitely postpone the sex until you feel more comfortable with him. it takes time to build trust with a partner but it's extremely important, especially if you've been sexually abused.

so, moral of the story: wait until you are completely, undeniably ready to have sex with him again. if he's a good boyfriend he will understand. if he tries to convince you to have sex with him please examine your relationship. it's never a good sign to be with someone who doesn't respect your desires (or lack thereof). in the mean time, explore other types of stimulation that you are comfortable with. and if you're not interested in anything beyond making out, that's fine too. just make sure to communicate with your boyfriend about what you want/need.
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