"If you guys can come to the same boundaries, or even just have better communication on the subject... then your relationship will be in much better shape, because you don't want to start resenting him"
Yes, exactly. I'm getting nervous because I feel like I'm going to start resenting him, and I don't want to.
For me, sex includes any time you're naked and trying to come-- so, there's not so much a difference between fingering, oral, and PIV. I know he has the same definition of sex as I do, just different ideas of when it's okay. His hesitations about groping are more "Will I be able to keep myself from having sex if I'm fondling and kissing her breasts?" than "Kissing breasts, in and of itself, is bad!"
I think a lot of my potential resentment stems from the idea that his boundaries are just based on "what is appropriate" (his family is pretty Big On Morals) rather than what he, himself, from his own interpretations of things, thinks is okay. But yeah... definitely something I need to talk to him about, not the internet.
Last night we had a semi-conversation about it, and he indicated that he might be re-thinking some boundaries, but since I'm ovulating sexytimes have been through the roof, and there hasn't been a non-sexytimes opportunity to chat about it.
Your comment is one of those comments that articulates some elusive bits of my own thinking. Thanks!
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Date: 2012-03-11 06:54 pm (UTC)Yes, exactly. I'm getting nervous because I feel like I'm going to start resenting him, and I don't want to.
For me, sex includes any time you're naked and trying to come-- so, there's not so much a difference between fingering, oral, and PIV. I know he has the same definition of sex as I do, just different ideas of when it's okay. His hesitations about groping are more "Will I be able to keep myself from having sex if I'm fondling and kissing her breasts?" than "Kissing breasts, in and of itself, is bad!"
I think a lot of my potential resentment stems from the idea that his boundaries are just based on "what is appropriate" (his family is pretty Big On Morals) rather than what he, himself, from his own interpretations of things, thinks is okay. But yeah... definitely something I need to talk to him about, not the internet.
Last night we had a semi-conversation about it, and he indicated that he might be re-thinking some boundaries, but since I'm ovulating sexytimes have been through the roof, and there hasn't been a non-sexytimes opportunity to chat about it.
Your comment is one of those comments that articulates some elusive bits of my own thinking. Thanks!