Haven't read any of the other comments, so I may just be mimicking what others have already said, but here goes.
First step: get REALLY aroused! See if you like porn. There IS good porn out there! You just have to sift through the garbage... I recommend Lilly Thai for her adorable laughter and banter and her great squirting orgasms, and recently I've been told that James Deen is the hottest male porn star EVAR! And it's all available for free online! Lately I've been looking through Tumblr tags. People on there often weed out the gross stuff and just give you pretty hot, pretty decent quality porn. simplyloveandlust.tumblr.com has a lot of animated .gifs and posts videos, and they're usually pretty good!
Otherwise, if you don't like porn, try reading erotica. Now, I'm on LiveJournal because there are GREAT fan fiction communities here. So I read NC17 slash (male/male) fan fiction in Harry Potter, BBC Merlin, and sometimes Star Trek fandoms. But fandoms exist EVERYWHERE and depending on your interests, you can find really thoughtfully written erotica about characters you already love, and you can chose whether you want m/m, m/f, or f/f. Try it out. You might love it! Also, all of my best friends are people I've met through fandom.
Okay, so now you're really aroused, right? This makes EVERYTHING easier. I like to watch porn because there's both visual and auditory stimulation that's ongoing that I don't have to really concentrate on.
First try rubbing your crotch with your hand over your underwear. Try different amounts of pressure and different directions of motion. I don't like direct clit stimulation. I kind of like general pressure moving over the area. I do not have a g-spot (or a sensitive g-spot... if it's there, it certainly doesn't make a peep!) but you might. But DON'T feel discouraged if vaginal penetration isn't exciting for you.
Then just play around, try different things, and don't feel weird about it. That's the most important thing. When people say, "relax," what they mean is, "don't feel weird." I often sort of dirty-talk myself in my head when I feel self-conscious (and I still do sometimes). You don't want to take relaxation too far, because you need muscle tension to achieve orgasm. If you're enjoying yourself, your body will kind of move itself. Let it. Don't be anxious about relaxing. (Kind of defeats the purpose, right?)
But I think the important thing for figuring out your first orgasm is being able to stay immersed in arousal. Enjoying porn is, I think, the absolute best way to make that happen.
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Date: 2011-12-02 07:42 am (UTC)First step: get REALLY aroused! See if you like porn. There IS good porn out there! You just have to sift through the garbage... I recommend Lilly Thai for her adorable laughter and banter and her great squirting orgasms, and recently I've been told that James Deen is the hottest male porn star EVAR! And it's all available for free online! Lately I've been looking through Tumblr tags. People on there often weed out the gross stuff and just give you pretty hot, pretty decent quality porn. simplyloveandlust.tumblr.com has a lot of animated .gifs and posts videos, and they're usually pretty good!
Otherwise, if you don't like porn, try reading erotica. Now, I'm on LiveJournal because there are GREAT fan fiction communities here. So I read NC17 slash (male/male) fan fiction in Harry Potter, BBC Merlin, and sometimes Star Trek fandoms. But fandoms exist EVERYWHERE and depending on your interests, you can find really thoughtfully written erotica about characters you already love, and you can chose whether you want m/m, m/f, or f/f. Try it out. You might love it! Also, all of my best friends are people I've met through fandom.
Okay, so now you're really aroused, right? This makes EVERYTHING easier. I like to watch porn because there's both visual and auditory stimulation that's ongoing that I don't have to really concentrate on.
First try rubbing your crotch with your hand over your underwear. Try different amounts of pressure and different directions of motion. I don't like direct clit stimulation. I kind of like general pressure moving over the area. I do not have a g-spot (or a sensitive g-spot... if it's there, it certainly doesn't make a peep!) but you might. But DON'T feel discouraged if vaginal penetration isn't exciting for you.
Then just play around, try different things, and don't feel weird about it. That's the most important thing. When people say, "relax," what they mean is, "don't feel weird." I often sort of dirty-talk myself in my head when I feel self-conscious (and I still do sometimes). You don't want to take relaxation too far, because you need muscle tension to achieve orgasm. If you're enjoying yourself, your body will kind of move itself. Let it. Don't be anxious about relaxing. (Kind of defeats the purpose, right?)
But I think the important thing for figuring out your first orgasm is being able to stay immersed in arousal. Enjoying porn is, I think, the absolute best way to make that happen.
Good luck!