Wanting sex once a day is actually not a low sex drive. It may be distressing in that it's lower than it was before, but that's still pretty frequent sex for most people. I'm not saying that to suggest you shouldn't be concerned, but that your concern should be about the change in your husband's sex drive, not the absolute amount.
I don't have a lot of advice on desensitizing. You might find that certain positions are better than others. But I don't think desensitizing him will fix the problem. You should point out as clearly as possible that you are having the kind of sex that gets him off every time and the kind that gets you off almost never. And that's not fair. Perhaps ask him how he would feel if you acted as reluctant to have PIV as he does to give you oral or manual. If there is no kind of sex that works for both of you, then you have to consider that you are sexually incompatible (even if you used to be sexually compatible). And then figure out what to do from there.
Sorry if I'm overstepping. I'm just concerned that your feeling unwanted isn't really about the fact that your husband climaxes quickly.
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Date: 2010-01-12 07:43 pm (UTC)I don't have a lot of advice on desensitizing. You might find that certain positions are better than others. But I don't think desensitizing him will fix the problem. You should point out as clearly as possible that you are having the kind of sex that gets him off every time and the kind that gets you off almost never. And that's not fair. Perhaps ask him how he would feel if you acted as reluctant to have PIV as he does to give you oral or manual. If there is no kind of sex that works for both of you, then you have to consider that you are sexually incompatible (even if you used to be sexually compatible). And then figure out what to do from there.
Sorry if I'm overstepping. I'm just concerned that your feeling unwanted isn't really about the fact that your husband climaxes quickly.