Afraid of Sex?

[strawberyfeilds.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone. I feel pretty silly asking about this, but it's been bugging me for a while now.


Okay. So I have some past issues. Body images issues are a problem for me for sure. My Dad recently apologized for his role in that. I've forgiven him. The issues are still there though.

Back in middle school (I'm a college sophomore now), a boy on my block sexually harassed me off and on for about 2 years. (He'd ask me for sexual favors.) We weren't in a relationship, he was just an acquaintance. Well, an acquaintance whose older brother bullied me and who took that role from his brother once he left.

The big thing I guess is that I was in an abusive relationship last year. I got into a relationship with a senior at my school. He was emotionally and sexually abusive. He sexually assaulted me on multiple occasions, and tried to rape me the last time I saw him. I stopped seeing him after that.

My problem now is that I'm afraid of getting into a relationship, and I'm even more afraid of having sex. I have this silly notion in my head that no one could possibly love me. All of this makes me very sad for many reasons, the least of which is that I someday want to be a wife and a mother.

Can anyone help me?

Comments

[hoodwink.livejournal.com]

Im glad you're in counseling. Maybe before your next session, you should write down things you have a hard time speaking about. It might help if you make an outline for yourself to follow in your next session. or how about recording something and then playing it back with your counselor? Might be something to think about.

You also might want to think about finding a support group that suits your needs. Maybe one online or one in your area. I know that might not be something you want to take on right now but its something else to keep in mind.

Good luck, if you ever need to talk, feel free to drop me a line.