Afraid of Sex?

[strawberyfeilds.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone. I feel pretty silly asking about this, but it's been bugging me for a while now.


Okay. So I have some past issues. Body images issues are a problem for me for sure. My Dad recently apologized for his role in that. I've forgiven him. The issues are still there though.

Back in middle school (I'm a college sophomore now), a boy on my block sexually harassed me off and on for about 2 years. (He'd ask me for sexual favors.) We weren't in a relationship, he was just an acquaintance. Well, an acquaintance whose older brother bullied me and who took that role from his brother once he left.

The big thing I guess is that I was in an abusive relationship last year. I got into a relationship with a senior at my school. He was emotionally and sexually abusive. He sexually assaulted me on multiple occasions, and tried to rape me the last time I saw him. I stopped seeing him after that.

My problem now is that I'm afraid of getting into a relationship, and I'm even more afraid of having sex. I have this silly notion in my head that no one could possibly love me. All of this makes me very sad for many reasons, the least of which is that I someday want to be a wife and a mother.

Can anyone help me?

Comments

[petal-abstract.livejournal.com]

I've asked this same question to VPers before and they've always been extremely caring and helpful.

Another community you should check out is called _survivors_ which is for people who have survived any form of abuse. Everyione there is amzaingly supportive. I've asked them about the sex issue too. I've even gone to sextips for advice. BUt everyone has different fears and tiggers. SO the advice they gave me may not be the best advice for you.

However there is advice that goes across the board, survivor or not. Communicate you wants, needs and desires. Be safe. And be assertive. Its always ok to say 'No' to someone that you care about about if you feel uncomfortable. Go slow, and take your time.

But I just recently found out that once you find the right person it will click in a way that feels like second nature. Right now I am in a healthy relationship with someone that listens and goes at the pace I've set. And for the first time I have no fears when it comes to intimacy You will find the person that makes you feel like that in time. But not with out some hurdles.

Also please look in getting counseling. Lots of places offer free group therapy for abuse survivors, you just have to put some feelers out there.

Good luck and take care!

[strawberyfeilds.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the suggestions. As I said above, I'm in counseling. I've also been considering joining a sexual assault survivors group, but it's at a different University, and I don't have a car right now.