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vaginapagina2006-06-14 08:17 pm
pamsfriends.livejournal.com) wrote in vaginapagina2006-06-14 08:17 pm
GYN Trauma
Yesterday, I went to the gynecologist for the first time.
Never having been sexually active, I was determined not to be at risk for HPV and the pap smear was deemed unnecessary. Yay, right?
Not so fast.
They still had to do a pelvic exam with the finger...a digital exam, right?
Is it normal to feel totally and completely physically and emotionally violated by the experience?
Nothing, and I mean nothing, had ever been, you know, "up there" before that point. I have an irrational fear of cotton balls, so shoving tampons up there was out of the question, and I have never masturbated (I'm not morally against it or anything, I've just never felt the urge).
It was all like "questions, questions, questions," and I'm like "I can handle this, I will just answer her questions," and then HELLO FINGER REALLY FAR UP MY COOTER. I have a problem with my right foot and every three weeks I have to go in and have a procedure done without any anesthesia, and it hurts less than this.
She was all like "OK, this is your cervix." I felt like saying "Hey, it's awesome that I have one, now can you let go? It's not a bottle cap, it's not going to come off!"
I was in pain for the rest of the day. I am still in pain now. There is no physical reason why I should be in pain.
How can I get over this? I feel like I have been violated. I'm not one of those people who's afraid she's "not a virgin" because something's been up there now. I know I'm still a virgin.
Also, my GYN thought maybe I should seek counseling because I freaked out so much and that she worries for my future relationships. Right now all four relationships I've had have been long-distance, that is, I longed for someone and he kept his distance. I didn't know how to communicate to her that it would be very different when I am with someone I love, someone I hope knows my body, something I'm ready for, and not a clinical exam with Dr. Periscopes-For-Fingers.
no subject
Just remember, your vagina is a body part just like any other body part. A dentist has to put hir hands and a mirror into your mouth, a podiatrist needs to touch and examine your feet, any doctor has to interact with your body in which ever place the doctor specializes [that was such a terrible sentence, forgive me, I've had a long day]. A gynecologist can't examine your reproductive organs without touching them or looking at them. This I know because I work for one.
A pap smear is necessary to check for abnormal cells. Sexual intercourse is Not Necessary to get HPV, any touching of genitals-to-genitals can transmit it. Probably also genitals-to-hand-to-genitals, or something along those lines. Pelvic exams done with the hands are necessary to see if you have any cycts on your ovaries, which has little to nothing to do with your sexual history, and it's also good to know if you have a tilted or abnormally shaped uterus or ovaries or fallopian tubes. None of these things are done "just for the hell of it," they are all done for your health.
Now, would you want a dentist to tell you that your teeth are healthy without looking at them, after just asking you how many times a day you brush and how many sweets you eat? No, of course not! That's not an accurate way to measure health! Same with gynos, they can't tell you how healthy or unhealthy you are without checking out what's going on down there.
I know that genitals are often seen as "a special place" on your body or whatnot, but they require the same amount of health care, if not more, and healthcare can't be provided unless those parts are examined.
I hope this makes you feel a little bit more comfortable with gynos. Annual gyno exams are extremely important to your health, an infection that is left untreated could lead to, in the most extreme cases, cancer [from HPV] or infertility [from gonorrhea, chlamydia, or other bacterial infections]. Also, keep yourself informed about what the gynecologist is going to be doing during the exam, ask questions, read about the exam beforehand on the internet or in the AMAZING book "Our Bodies, Ourselves." Actually, I recommend getting "Our Bodies, Ourselves" even if you're not going to use it just for this purpose. It's a great resource for all sorts of information about the "girly bits" and most aspects of life as a person with a gender OR sexual identity of being female.
no subject
I know how important these exams are, which is why I will continue to have them despite the trauma. I did study the process, though. I knew it was going to have to happen eventually, but there's a difference between reading about something and actually having it happen. For example, pregnancy and birth fascinate me, but while reading about what happens to a woman in labor may educate me, when I actually do have babies however far down the line, no book is going to be able to fully explain how I deal with it, how MY body deals with it.
I knew that I was going to have to have a pelvic exam. I apologize if the tone of my post made it seem like a surprise. However, I still felt very violated by the whole process.
no subject
no subject
As far as I know you do NOT need any sexual contact to get cervical cancer. I actually remember hearing on the news about how nuns needed to be educated more about pap smears since (they and apparently many other people) assumed no sex, no cancer.
From the first google hit for "cervical cancer causes" http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html/cervical_cancer.html:
What causes cervical cancer?
The exact cause of cervical cancer is not known, but certain things appear to increase the risk.
Human papilloma virus (HPV)
Specific types of the human papilloma virus (the same virus that causes genital warts) are linked with 95% of cases of cervical cancer. HPV is passed on through sex and usually causes no symptoms at all.
Worrying about that 5% is what motivated me to get into the doctor. I was quite surprised that my mom the former ob/gyn nurse didn't have me see a doctor until -I- brought it up at 20 (virgin). Ha, and then the first exam I had the lady didn't even finish the pelvic cause I was in too much pain and apparently that 5% didn't concern her!
Anyway, I can definitely understand being taken aback by the whole process, but maybe try to see it as a way to feel as close to 100% sure as possible that you are reproductively healthy?