vaginapagina | (no subject)

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Hey all, I'm new here..but I've been lingering around this community for a while. I think the advice you all give is wonderful, and I was hoping you lovely people could spare some of this splendid advice for me!

So my boyfriend and I are planning on having sex for the first time (we're both virgins), I wanted your opinion on what is the best brand/type of condom and lubricant to use. Also, I found a tube of KY Plus Lubricating Spermicide in my closet (I assume it belongs to my parents..and if it doesn't, thats weird.) have any of you guys used this? What was your experience with it? Would it be bad for a first timer to use (especially since I don't know how my body would react to spermicide)?

I was also wondering if there was possible way of acquiring birth control pills in New York without needing a parents permission. My mom has no problem with me being sexually active..I just don't feel quite comfortable about asking her yet. If theres no way for me to get BC without my parents permission..could any of you be kind enough to reassure me that a condom, and a condom alone, will keep us safe for a while? I'm just really paranoid and I keep thinking that the condom is gonna break on us =/..but yeah..that's just me being neurotic.

One more question, this is just out of pure curiosity. Is it bad/unhealthy to have sex while a woman is on her period ("the party pooper" as my boyfriend calls it heh) ?

Thanks so much everyone! All your help is VERY MUCH appreciated =)

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Lube:I would buy a new bottle/tube, esp. if you dont know how long its been there.

BC: Try Planned Parenthood.

Yeah I realized right after I posted this, that the lube could be just a tad old..so that kind of steered me away from it. Thanks for your help.

Check with your local planned parenthood. Laws are different in every state, but you should be able to get it without parental permission. The only issue is that without a parents permission, you can't use your health insurance if you're a dependent on the insurance--though most planned parenthoods will offer a sliding scale for the cost of birth control if you're under 17, and you may be able to get it for free.

Is there anyway for me to find a Planned Parenthood located near me online? Do they have a specific website or anything?

Thanks so much for the info =)

http://plannedparenthood.com

They have a 1800 number to help you find the one nearest you.

gracias

I'm allergic to latex, so I can't really give you a good condom reccomendation, since I've only use lamb-skins and the new vinyl ones.

As far as lube, however, I'm sure many will encourage you to use spermacide, but I personally do not care for KY. There are several brands, and there's nothing wrong with use and lube AND a spermacide.

Have you tried finding a planned parenthood in NY? I'm just suprised, because in FL they give BC pills out like they're candy.

And there's nothing wrong with having sex on your period, but it can get very mess and might make the condom lose, if that's your main source of BC, I'd wait until Aunt Flo is out of town. ;)

Good luck!

I haven't really tried to find a Planned Parenthood yet, because I don't know how to go about finding a location nearby. I do plan on putting a lot of effort into finding one though. Thank you very much for your help!

where did you find the vinyl condoms? i haven't heard of them yet...over the past year i started having a reaction to latex and switched over to the lamb-skin ones. can you find them at wal-mart or a drug store or do you order them online? and are they ny cheaper than the lamb-skin?

lol, i could have just went and made my own post with that, ha.

You don't really need the spermicide if you're using a condom (which you should be!). I agree with the above poster, though- you should probably get a new bottle, since it quite possibly could have been hanging around awhile. Most clinics have free condoms, so you don't have to worry about someone seeing you buy them. I'm back to using condoms again after trying almost every BC known to mankind (everything gives me horrible yeast infections) and I haven't had a condom break yet. Good luck!

I'm pretty sure my boyfriend already purchased condoms (this dawned on my after I made this post of course) so I don't think acquiring them will be much of an issue. Is there any specific brand you recommend?

Thanks a lot for your help =)

spermicide makes me funky down there. i don't reccomend it but to each herown

i personally like trojan-enz condoms in the tealish box...

and a lot of the condom companies give free samples through their websites....

and hell no is it unhealthy to have sex while you are on your period, it actually HELPS me with my cramps...

Thanks for the recommendation!

Sex suring your period makes cramps go away?! Man if I knew that..I'd be having sex left and right during the beginning of my period *just kidding of course* haha, I have the worst cramps under the sun! I'd love to persuade my boyfriend into that..but I have a feeling he wouldn't really go for it =/ oh well..I'll stick with what I can get heh

Thanks again for your help =)

i agree, sex and masturbation during my period makes cramps go bye bye!

your welcome :)

Spermicide can be irritating, so I'd steer clear of it in a lube - you can get some good ones at drug stores and mart-ish stores - you should totally check out The Great Lube Post (http://community.livejournal.com/vaginapagina/6609162.html?nc=35) for more lubey info :)

There is no parental consent required for hormmonal bc - I'd totally recommend checking out a Planned Parenthood or other type clinic - they're there just for women like you (and me). And yes - condoms are safe, even if used alone. But they must be used properly (see this (http://www.teenwire.com/portal/portal-050119-condom.html) for more info about how to do that), and there's nothing wrong with wanting more than one form of protection - birth control can be a big deal, and you should totally not do anything you aren't 100% comfortable with.

And no way - there's nothing wrong with having sex while menstruating, but do know that menstrual fluid can carry STIs and HIV, so it's important to be tested and use condoms if infections are a risk in your relationship (as always).

Yeah I'm definetely looking into getting to a Planned Parenthood ASAP. Thanks so much for providing the links! They were extremely helpful =)

totally welcome - now you can join the fold and pass along helpful information to others who are looking for it here. good luck!

thanks so much!

One more question, this is just out of pure curiosity. Is it bad/unhealthy to have sex while a woman is on her period ("the party pooper" as my boyfriend calls it heh) ?

NO. I cannot emphasis that one enough. It's not even really any messier than non-period sex, the only difference is the color of the fluids really. Instead of clear fluids, they're pinkish or red.

It is NOT unhealthy to have sex on your period-in fact, orgasms can help relieve cramps associated with menstrual pain, so it can be said that having sex on your period is actually good for you. :)

Actually, there is a way to get Birth Control without your parents permission-Planned Parenthood will actually set you up with the BC Pill/Patch/Shot whatever you without you needing your parents, and without telling them. You will need to come up with the funds to pay for the gyno exam, and the birth control, but you do NOT need your parents to go. That's a common misconception many teens have, and one many parents want you to believe. If your mom really is okay with it, seriously talk to her about it-but don't feel bad if you absolutely don't feel like you want to.

Hell, just tell her you read that Birth Control helps relieve bad menstrual cramp pain, and irregularity, and ask if you can get on it for that reason. She doesn't have to know you're fibbing a bit to get it for sexual reasons.

I got it because of PCOS... I just had to say, "Yeah. he perscribed it to me so that the cysts in my ovaries wouldn't turn into cancer." She didn't object. ;)

Haha, the same reason I got away with birth control over 2 years ago.

Thanks for replying! As for persuading my mom to get me BC due to cramp pain..that's a great idea haha. I actually suffer from horrible cramps anyway..so it's kind like hitting two birds with one stone I suppose =), thanks again for the help!

Yes, I did the same exact thing! When I told her I was having sex a few months later, she felt betrayed because I had lied to her (even though she flipped a shit and is STILL flipping a shit about me having sex..this happened almost two weeks ago) about why I wanted to go on BC, and I can proudly say that this was the only time I have lied to my mom- I just kept telling her it WAS for my period, we weren't having sex/planning on it, etc..it hurt a lot to lie to her, but she was just so devastated. Maybe I'll tell her AFTER I move out, have kids, etc...then she can't kill me! :P

Anyway, if your mom's ok with it, I would just go to your doc for it. They'll have your family history and stuff if you all go to the same place, so it's much more convenient. Also, just try lube and no spermicide. It irritates most women and if you're already using a condom or BC (save for a diaphragm) it's kind of an overkill and if it's going to irritate you and possibly give you an infection, there's really no need. :D You and your boyfriend should both know how to correctly put on a condom (http://www.teenwire.com/interactive/do-archive-movies.php), the video is to the right of the page and there's also other helpful things on their about body image and BC.

Make sure to talk, take it slow, etc. I'm sure you know all of this, but your first time CAN be made fun and it doesn't have to just be painful. :D Good luck.

Thank you so much for the story and advice, it really helped! =)

Don't use the kind with spermicide, it may cause a reaction and may increase some STD transmission rates.

Get something nice if you can... Lube wise I mean. I'm glad you're talking about it first! that will make the experience that much better.

My advice: do NOT use spermicide. My boyfriend had a seriously bad reaction to it, telling me it "burned like the legions of hell."
As for lube KY is definately not the best. I'd heartely advise you to go for a water-based lube like astroglide (I swear by this stuff). Water-based are definately the best way to go since they don't stain and they're safe to use on condoms if they dry out (oil-based lube will destroy latex).
But whatever you decide to use, definately be sure to check whether or not the lube contains sugar. If it does don't use it because sugar can be reeeally bad news for your vaginal tract.
Good luck!

thanks! I was actually wondering about astroglide because I've heard so many good things about it. I'm thinking I'll give it a chance!

just an fyi...astroglide gives alot of people problems..myself included..i love the lube, BUT afterwards I hurt from it...just my two cents..good luck and HAVE FUN!!! :D

hm, well it all really depends on what my boyfriend got haha. I'm pretty sure he bought lubricated condoms though..so we'll see how that all works out. Thanks so much for responding =)

As others have said, spermicidal lubricants can cause a bad reaction in some people. I would recommend not using one especially for the first time.
Also, that way if you use one later, and have a reaction, you know it's from the spermicide.

I haven't tried different brands of lube, but I've heard good things about O'my, so I bought some, and it's pretty good. You only need a tiny bit of it - it's really slippery. It's kind of expensive, though, and as far as I know, you can only get it in sex shops.

I'm allergic to latex, so the only condoms I can recommend are Durex Avanti. They're made of polyurethane. I have used latex condoms before though - that's how I found out I'm allergic to them. To me, when I used Avanti condoms with my ex, I couldn't tell he was wearing a condom. With latex condoms, I could tell the difference. Unfortunately, there isn't a condom in existence that will feel to him like he's not wearing one.

Well I just found out that my boyfriend bought Lifestyles Super lubricated, hear anything about that?

Thanks for the info!

I'm not gonna lie, there's a chance the condom can break. Not a HUGE chance, but it's my personal opinion that if you're at the age where pregnancy can ruin you're life, don't take any chances. Wait until you can get some proper birth control. Get all your bases covered, y'know? Sex is great, but so is peace of mind. You can obtain birth control at Planned Parenthood, or just from getting a perscription from your doctor. I'm not sure if you need parental permission to go on BC, personally. I didn't go on it until I was 21.

Pleasure Plus condoms are the best. In NYC you should be able to get them at Toys in Babeland if they don't have them at Duane Reade.

Thanks!

Planned Parenthood for hormonal birthcontrol.

I recommend Eros or Pjur lube.

I enjoyed Kimono's, when I used condoms.

The period issues excuse for the birth control, and yes, until you end up making an appointment to get on birth control, using a condom only is fine.

spermicide can lead to bad consequences, so use at your own discretion.

Have fun! Relax! Take your time, and learn to enjoy yourself and your new experiences

Yeah spermicide is definetely out for me..I've heard too many negative things about it. My boyfriend bought lubricated condoms, do you suggest we use those, or get unlubricated condoms and buy the lube separately?

Thanks for the help =)

Hello fellow NY'r :-). Planned Parenthood would be your best bet! Depending on where you live in NY, Manhattan should have plenty of them!

In fact, Here is all the ones in NY. https://plannedparenthood.com/pp2/portal//healthservices/makeappointment/?to=home&state=NY.

As far as sex and periods. My boyfriend and I put a towel underneath me and it works. We do not make a mess on the sheets.

Trojon condoms are the best but a bit on the small side. But they work quite well.

Hope this helps!

Thanks SO much for the link! Have you heard anything about Lifestyles condoms? Thats the brand that my boyfriend just bought.

Thanks for your help!

My boyfriend and I use those and they are great! except they slipped off my boyfriend. But other than that, they fit nicely.

Also, your welcome for the link to all of the NY plannedparenthood :-)

I'm a fan of Durex condoms myself...never had any of the problems with those that I had with Lifestyles (Breaking constantly!) or Trojans (No sensation for him at all)... Having thought I was ready when I wasn't, I would urge you to know that you're ready before you go ahead...but if you do, might as well have fun. ^_^

Also, I am SO interested to know how on earth the stuff got into your closet...I try not to be a naif, but if I found parental sexual aids in my closet I would barf all over them. ^_^

haha they weren't in MY closet..I meant the hallway closet near the bathroom heh. Sorry, I tend to be a bit vague sometimes ;-). I'm SOOO glad you told me about your experience with Lifestyles, cause those are the kind my boyfriend bought! So yeeah..I'm definetely making him get rid of those. A friend of mine actually gave me a couple durex a couple months ago..but I wound up giving them away because I wasn't as ready as I thought I was. Probably should've heald onto those eh?

OOG to freaky parents. ^_~ Durex also comes in lots and lots of different varieties. The only kind I've had problems with are the colored ones...they're too small for my boyfriend. All the others are fine. Lifestyles just seem to break more, but then I only used those with one boyfriend and he wasn't particularly enthused about using condoms at all (the big jerk ^_^) so others might have had better experiences.

And a big thumbs up for having known you weren't quiiiite ready yet!

Either way, not gonna risk it with the Lifestyles. I already told the boy about the Durex, and he said he'll make sure to run out and get some!

Yeah I'm really glad I didn't go ahead and have sex last year..I really wasn't ready. But now I am, and very much excited =)

Thanks again for your help!

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