vaginapagina | Vagina? Lesbian anyone?

Vagina? Lesbian anyone?

I want to clear up some things that I had asked a new member who happens to be a fabulously patient and kind person.

I asked her if she was a true lesbian.

I want to elaborate on that, just for a minute.

No one should ever have to prove how much of a lesbian they are. Right? I totally agree that no one but You can decide what you would like to call yourself in regards to your sexuality.

But does your vagina know?

I mean, if you are the type of lesbian that cannot get turned on mentally by a man, is your vagina gonna know, and is it gonna be more tense?

In the same aspect, if you're a lesbian who can also enjoy sex with men, mentally and physically, is your vagina down with penis?

Does your vagina have a direct link with your brain when it comes to this stuff, and does it have more say in how you feel about having sex than we ever thought?

One time I "did stuff" with a guy. I mean, nothing involving vaginal sex, but other stuff. And although my body was aroused, my brain was not. Im a lesbian, and have known this for a long time. So I know that I could probably have sex with a guy, and I could probably be turned on. But I think my vagina might put up a stink. It might tighten, tense up and not let the penis in. It might scream in pain afterwards. Is this possible?

Thanks for your comments, in advance.

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Here's what I think: I self-identify as lesbian or queer. I have never had sex w/ a man, only women.

However- (isn't there always a however??) There are certainly a variety of things that turn me on. Personally, I find gay male porn flicks or erotic fiction hot. (figure that one out). I also find very effeminate men, and dirty hippy boys attractive. I don't see myself ever having sex w/ a man, not neccissarily because I can't get aroused by men, but because I can't see myself ever having the combination of brains,heart,and body that I need to become intimate w/ someone. (not to mention the fact that I'm in a mutually monogamous relationship w/ a woman that I hope lasts until I breathe my last breath).

Also- I think that one needs to be aware that lesbian sex doesn't necissarily mean non-penetrative (is that a word!?!) sex. I know lots of dykes, myself included, that enjoy penetration as a part of their sexual behaviors. Does my vagina know it's a woman? Nah, my vagina is cool, but my brain controls her.

And finally- I think that sexuality is incredibly fluid and that we need to respect that fluidity in ourselves and others.

So- am I a "true" lesbian? I don't like the connotation of "true"... Is a lesbian who has never had sex w/ a woman any less a lesbian? I don't think so. Is a woman who has had male partners and is now in a relationship w/ a woman any less a lesbian? Not if that's how she self-identifies. Is a MtF transgendered person who is in a relationship w/ a woman any less a lesbian, nope, not to me...

It's all about self-identity to me, I'm not the great judge of sexuality, people can do that for themselves, and I should respect it.

Sorry for blathering on... i hope I made sense.

I dont really think that there is a way to define sexuality at all. But, say that someone is lesbian enough to not want a penis in her, is her vag gonna clench up?

I too enjoy the penetration part of sex, but my girlfriend's hands are not only small, but non-forceful, poseable and a totally different shape than a penis. I think a vagina DOES know that its a penis or someone's hand. Also, if the person is lesbian enough to have the thought of penis entering her vagina disturb her, is her vagina gonna be too happy about it?

I have a real problem with the phrase "lesbian enough".

Honestly, in the case in which you are referring (lesbian sex worker) I think that she has an allergy to latex, most likely, or perhaps an STD. There are a lot of lesbian sex workers out there. I don't think that their lesbianism is causing problems in their line of work, otherwise it'd be awful tough to do their jobs. I don't think that their vaginas are "rejecting" penises.

Also, I don't think my vagina knows squat. My brain does the thinking, not my bits.

You did not understand what I wrote if you have a problem with the snip phrase "lesbian enough"

"say that someone is lesbian enough to not want a penis in her, is her vag gonna clench up?"

I will rephrase it for you.

If a woman is the type of lesbian that does not want penis in her is her vag gonna enjoy it or will it rebel?

I am in no way saying that you have to be graded on your level of lesbianism or that a lesbian can be "not lesbian enough" if thats what you were thinking.

I also disagree with you, I do think that a vagina knows and has a direct connection with your brain, just like the rest of your body

By saying "Lesbian enough" you are quantifying the word lesbian. If you didn't mean that, fine, but you should watch your phrasing if you don't want to be misunderstood. "Enough" means: Sufficient to meet a need or satisfy a desire; adequate OR an adequate number or quantity.

I don't know how you expected anyone to take it any other way.

And yes, your vagina has a connection to your brain. As does every other part of your body. But it is silly to say that my feet "know" what shoes I'm wearing. I think I do understand what you're trying to say, but I can't say that I agree with you.

When i saw the phrase "lesbian enough" I took it to mean a woman who has no sexual feelings for a man. There are many women who are bi and consider themselves lesbian, just as there are bi women who say they're straight. I'm also thinking of my gay friends who came out after marriages. More that the words themselves might not fully describe someone's desires or interests, or that the person suppressed different desires. I don't know. Maybe I'm not getting my point out. I do understand why the phrase bothers you. Language frequently doesn't have the words we need to fully articulate concepts.

Thankyou for that, I think you understood what I was saying.

Language frequently doesn't have the words we need to fully articulate concepts.

Well said!

No, no it doesn't...and it's especially hard online. Thanks for your imput!

Gay male porn turns me on as well. The only rationale I can come up with is this: Porn is much easier to find than erotica. And porn is largely geared towards a male audience. A lot of times I have a hard time buying the woman, as in either she looks too much like a fantasy or I'm not convinced she's turned on and enjoying herself. Lesbian porn is full of make-up and long red nails and high heeled shoes -- all of which a lesbian might be into although I've never met one of them (and as far as all the women I've ever met, no two ultra-femmey women have had interest in each other). So the only porn easy to find, where both partners convincingly portray pleasure, is gay male porn. But, truth be told, any visual image of two people I find to be attractive getting it on and enjoying it turns me on.

Yeah no shit huh? Lesbian porn is too unbelievable. I hate it infact. I dont think gay male porn turns me on either, but I do get what you're saying. I would love to find a tasteful lesbian porn or whatever that actually did it for me.

http://www.goodvibrations.com has some that was created by lesbians for lesbians (or bisexuals, I suppose), so one can assume that as far as believability goes, they're more likely to have hit the mark then the porn that is made by straight men for straight men.

Go to SIR Video (http://www.sirvideo.com) for porn made by dykes, for dykes. It's good stuff ;)

But, truth be told, any visual image of two people I find to be attractive getting it on and enjoying it turns me on.

me too :D

I think that made perfect sense, and that was exactly what I was trying to convey when I replied to the comment which originally spawned this post.

I don't know exactly how I came to be reading or posting in this community, but one of my friends' friends lists had it and well, here I am and interested in the discussion so... yeah.

My best friend for a zillion years (since we were little) is a gay man that has (almost) never found women attractive - but (stereotypically, in the sense that he's still a guy) he's extremely aroused by porn featuring girl/girl activity. So I wonder if it's not that unusual. For him - it's all about "like and like" I think. Homosexuality is what 'works' for him, regardless of gender.

I'm a poor judge myself. I'm finding myself becoming 'more and more bi' as the days go on, and what I find arousing can be quite different from time to time and is frequently even rather odd.

To the point of the original post: I think sexual response is incredibly mental, but not ruled by it. In clinical settings, psychologists are sometimes in a position to counsel women who have been raped and, though the event was irredeemably negative, it's a fact that some women experience orgasms during their rapes: a contributing factor to considerable post-traumatic stress. Sometimes our bodies just do what the neurons tell them to do.

I agree. with everything that you said.

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Vagina? Lesbian anyone?

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