vaginapagina | (no subject)

Does anyone else have trouble getting off with a partner? I started having sex when I was 19. I'm 27 now and I haven't had a single orgasm with any partners. I feel like every man I've been with thinks my vag is a penis and a few strokes is all it takes me to get me going. I can't come through PIV sex and I'm so jealous of anyone who can. I enjoy the sensation but it's not enough. Mind you I've never been in a long-term relationship so that might affect my comfort level, since most guys I've been with are usually a one-time thing or at the most it lasts a couple of weeks. Anyway.....some times I just want to have sex for the sake of having sex, especially when the guy is super attractive, but I just can't seem to come and I don't know how to instruct them without hurting their super-senstive ego. Not to generalize, but every guy I've been with seems to need some kind of reassurance that they're "doing me right" and I don't know how to say "no, you're doing it all wrong" without being rude, especially when it comes to educating them about my vag. Any suggestions?

or do you think this is somehting I can only achieve in a long-term relationship, where we have time to get to know eachother's bodies better and trust eachother enough to be comfortable to try anything?

Thanks!

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It definitely takes practice to know what sort of stimulus your body likes! However, it doesn't have to be practice with lots of different people (especially if that would be emotionally bad for you! some people do better with casual flings than others). Long-long-long relationships may be better for the practice, because not only does one get used to climaxing with someone else around, and not only does one train the partner to find the good spots (and therefore discover what feels good when someone else does it, which may be different than when one is alone), but I think it also trains the nerves and the orgasmic reaction just... in general. The body expects the buildup and expects the reward (which is more likely with that well-trained partner) and that makes it easier. I know that I can go over the edge a lot more easily, after 20 years of marriage, than when we were first sleeping together.

One thing that I can do during missionary-position PIV is tilt my hips so that on the out-stroke, I'm rubbing my clitoral area against my spouse's pubic bone area. It gets clitoral stimulation, which is generally vital to orgasms in people with clitorises, and if I'm already stirred up enough via foreplay, that does the trick. (There are some people who can orgasm based on cervical stimulation, or even vaginal stimulation (though the clitoris has "legs" that go around the outer area of the vaginal opening, if I recall correctly) -- but there are also people who can orgasm with nothing but breast or ear stimulation. And dreams can affect people with estrogen-based biochemistry as much as testosterone-based folks. O;> The norm, however, is requiring some clitoral stimulation, whether direct or indirect.) Note that the hip-tuck trick (hips "back" on the outstroke, "forward" on the instroke) may require certain "fitting together" of bodies, and therefore may not work for all combinations of body-shapes. But it's something you might want to try.