vaginapagina | Belated update on moley vulva and cancer OCD

Hi all...

A long time ago (it seems), I wrote in regards to a rather large mole on my vulva. At the time, I had gone to a fancy spa-like dermatologist who glanced at it for 5 seconds and said, "Yep! Let's take it off."  She then told me it would be $800. I thought that seemed a little unreasonable, so I called another dermatology clinic and they told me that mole removal and biopsy typically cost $300. I told them I wanted them to look at a mole on my vulva and tell me whether or not it should be removed. I went in and the very nice, very thorough doctor examined me. I explained to him that atypical nevi (basically, big moles that often cause alarm but are actually very harmless) run in my family, and that I'd had all of these moles on my vulva for a long time, including the one in question. He told me (surprise!) that it was actually a cluster of smaller moles--not one giant mole--and because I had similar moles on my back and shoulders, and because it wasn't hurting, changing colors, etc., I should just leave it alone and keep an eye on it. He assured me removal was NOT necessary at this time, and that I should come back in a year for another check-up, because I do have the atypical nevi that need to be monitored.

So that sounds good, right?

So here's my problem...I'm SO TERRIFIED of cancer that I can't keep my hands off of that area, and now it HURTS. I look at it two or three times a day in the mirror, and that entire part of my vulva intermittently aches and stings. It's gotten to the point that I can't wear pants OR underwear, so I'm having to go commando in long skirts (in winter!).  I know it's because I'm constantly pressing on it, prodding it, etc,, and also because there's a skin tag right next to the mole that gets irritated if touched too much.

I don't know what I'm asking, but I guess it's just that the area keeps aching and hurting, and maybe I'm looking for some sort of reassurance that it's really not cancer--it's just pain I've caused. I've been poking at it ever since my appointment (which was weeks ago). I'll stop for a day, but then I'll start back up, so I think I'm just not letting it heal. Is the labial skin/muscle/tissue/etc. around the opening of the vagina very sensitive?  If I leave it alone, how long should I wait for it to stop hurting before I start freaking out again?

I know this seems bizarre and terribly OCD. It's not even the mole that hurts!  I can press on it, pinch it, etc. and it causes very minimal pain--probably because I've bruised the muscles and whatnot by my constant poking. I just have this bizarre fear that there's cancer hidden under my skin and I don't know it.  Has anyone ever been in this position (with any part of their body) and can anyone offer comfort?

Is there anything I can do to make it heal faster?  Obviously, not poking at it is a start!  It seems like the more I think about it, the more it hurts. It hurts to walk, and it throbs when I sit with my legs crossed. What a dumb mess I've made of myself!  It was perfectly fine until I went to the doctor. So much for getting reassurance...

Thanks so much for bearing with this ridiculous post.

-Kelsie

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This is one of those things that might just better if you have it removed. It doesn't matter if its not cancerous, dangerous, etc. It seems to be damaging your quality of life and your emotional state.

I'd just have it removed. You can do elective mole removal. And if he won't do it, find someone that will.

I hope it works out for you.

The thing is, I really, really don't want any unnecessary cutting on my vulva. The other thing is, I have no health insurance, so even $300 is a lot of money for me. Finally, I'd like to get over this cancer terror once and for all. I have a history of thinking I have all sorts of cancers, namely because my mother almost died from it six years ago. :/

I'm not sure how "unncessary" this would be, since it is causing you such distress. Besides, would it be easier for you to let a few stitches heal, or controlling your poking and prodding?

The vulva is a sensitive area - and I'm sure the skin around the mole(s) is irritated from being manipulated so often.

As far as the cancer thing goes, I'm not sure how to get over your fear of it, except taking comfort in the fact that a medical professional has told you in his opinion it is not necessary for you to have the mole removed, and thinks just keeping an eye on it will be fine for now. Only thing I can think of is just reminding yourself that everyday is a wonderful gift, so there's no reason to live in fear every day. :)

I had a mole on my vulva, right in the crease of where my leg meets my groin, for my whole life. I just had it removed about three months ago, the doctor was scooping out a few others and so I asked for this one to be scooped also. It was covered by my insurance, though. :-/ Sorry that doesn't help. But now it's all healed, and I am just -so- happy that I finally had that thing removed, it was so annoying right on my underwear line all the time and itchy. Just so you know, they probably won't "cut it" out with a scalpel or anything. For me, they just used this little razor thing to basically just shave it off (after it was numbed, of course!). Hope this helps :)

I can understand your fear of cancer considering the fact your mother had it, but I also think you're worrying a bit overmuch at the moment. You saw a dermatologist who did a thorough exam on the mole and he obviously didn't think it was anything of major concern for the moment, and he is a professional. Moles tend to show very clear signs if they are becoming cancerous; there are almost always very obvious differences in the shape, size, color, etc. Bottom line: your derm has seen a lot of moles in his line of work, and he thinks your mole is normal, so it probably is. It isn't likely that your mole would become cancerous without you noticing anything strikingly different about it. Try to stop picking at it, and after the pain subsides, maybe your worries will a little as well.

I think it was great that you saw a second doctor (and please, please, please don't take this the wrong way), but it does sort of sound like you found a doctor who told you what you wanted to hear, and then you went home, and now you're still worried about it. Would it maybe be helpful to you to get even a third opinion? That way you won't have that awful first doctor's voice in your head suggesting you have cancer all the time, and maybe then you'll feel reassured that it really is nothing to worry about.
Good luck! I hope you feel better!

This isn't exactly the same thing, but I remember in high school I felt a lump in my earlobe, above where my ear is pierced. It appeared out of nowhere, and for a few days I was convinced that it was a little tumor and I had cancer; I remember squeezing it and poking it all the time, and so then I had a lump in my earlobe that hurt, and that worried me even more. It turned out, of course, to be nothing and disappeared in a few days, but I remember being seriously concerned about it. I think the best thing you can do it take your doctor's advice - go back to see him in a year, like he suggested, and if it would make you feel better, maybe even seek a third opinion since you're still obviously quite concerned about it. As for making it feel better...stop poking it. If you constantly poke and prod any area on your body, it's going to get irritated and sensitive. I don't really know what else to suggest, but I can sympathize a bit because I tend to be a bit obsessive when it comes to my body and my health as well. Hope some of this is helpful to you. :)

Cancerous growths are not typically painful. You've irritated the area by messing with it so much. Its obviously causing you distress, for which reason I would say get it removed. It'll ease your mind. The removal shouldn't be too bad- they do numb the area and its a relatively quick and painless procedure. (I had a mole on my back removed. It was no big deal, I promise.)

But meanwhile, you've got to stop messing with the area. The vulva is notoriously finicky in the first place ;) Prodding around constantly is only gonna lead to more irritation and discomfort.

for what it's worth, i've had skin cancer, and while i certainly don't know everyone's experience with it, my cancer was never painful.

that said, maybe this logic will help you some: if you don't stop poking it, you'll never know what's really causing the pain. so all the poking does is increase the time you have to worry. so, when you're about to poke at the mole, try to remind yourself that all you are doing is increasing the amount of time you're going to worry. maybe that might help some. i do understand the compulsion to poke at that sort of thing, and it's really hard to resist.

Hi friends...I actually feel much better having just taljed about it, if only on the 'net. I'm going to stop touching it and see if the pain stops within a week after noooo prodding. If it doesn't get better, I'll seek a third opinion. Otherwise, I'll let it be. Thanks so much for your support and wise words. I'll take anything else ya'll can offer!

To help you feel better, I'd suggest, hm, about three things:

1) Find some kind of topical ointment that will not irritate your skin and may help it. Apply gently according to the instructions and then leave it alone. Having something to put on that will help you heal should also remind you not to prod at it. Sticky and goopy may be a plus here. O:> If it's a minor anesthetic, that's also possibly useful.

(And yes, the tissue and labia around the vaginal opening can be very sensitive! It depends on how your nerves are arranged, but for some women, fingering and penetration is pleasurable because they have so many nerves there!)

2) Start socking away cash to get a third opinion. A dollar a day, $10 a week, whatever you can afford that won't pinch you too tightly.

3) Consider socking away cash to get it removed (and the skin tag, too, perhaps?) just for your peace of mind. If it's $300, at $40 a month, that's about 7-8 months, yes, but that's well within the "come back in a year" suggestion, so it's not likely that (even if it did become dangerous, which is unlikely) anything troubling would happen.

4) ...I said three, I was wrong... Take up something to do with your hands, such as crochet. When you feel like poking at your nethers to look at the thing, pick up the hook and yarn and crochet the heck out of a scarf or a potholder or afghan square. (Or take up fingernail biting; it's a perfectly addictive habit, trust me. *beth looks shiftyeyed and hides one hand behind her back*)

5) ...okay, I guess I can't count... Perhaps you might also set yourself a schedule. Grab a camera (cell-phone camera, digital camera, whatever) and just take a picture twice a month. Any changes, even if it were becoming cancerous, would tend to be very slow and irritating the area isn't going to do anything but mask any potential symptoms. Take the pictures, keep them in a file together, and you can review them every now and then to see if there are any changes, rather than going "was it that shape before? that size? I can't remember! It's growing!"

And good luck! I hope that something works out to reassure you!

Belated update on moley vulva and cancer OCD

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