Labor and delivery curiosity!

[anyakitty.livejournal.com]

Okay, I have always been SO curious about the nitty gritty details of labor and delivery. I am fascinated by those shows that come on TLC sometimes depicting natural and home births. I don't ever plan on having children but I just simply must know:

1. Is it really as bad as it is in the movies? Do people really scream/go crazy from the pain? Can you compare contractions to menstrual cramps to give me an idea of how much worse they are?

2. This is the big one... do a lot of women tear? How does THAT feel? Do they stitch you up or do you have to just let it heal or does it just simply depend?

3. After you give birth vaginally, is your vagina really never the same ever again? Is this only a physical, inside thing but also a visual, outside thing?

Please, don't spare me any details, I want it all no matter how questionable. It's either this or asking my boyfriend's sister who is pregnant for the second time and I'd rather not, haha. Thanks in advance!

Comments

[lyenuv.livejournal.com]

1. I had an epidural, so I felt no pain, just intense pressure. It wasn't too bad, but I have a pretty high pain tolerance. Trying to breathe through the pushes was kinda hard, though.

2. I had a small tear on the side of my labia, took a few stitches to get it closed up. It was only about a half inch long, no pain at all after the first day or so, just itchy.

3. Hubby says I'm tighter now! Of course, I do kegels regularly, but once we were going at it again, neither of us noticed any, uh, "looseness", and within a couple weeks after that he noticed the tightness. I noticed the back of my vulva pokes out a little more, but that's it :)

[lyenuv.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I pooped. Just a little poolet, but it was there.

[jenny222.livejournal.com]

I can't speak from experience, cause I've never had kids. But I've heard it's not nearly as dramatic as the movies (labor is generally a long and drawn out process) and I've heard all the pushing makes you poop.

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

I've watched quite a few home birth videos, and in general no one is screaming. A lot of people (especially during transition) cry or say things like "I can't do this" but I don't think I've seen ANY homebirth videos, actually, where people are screaming. Moaning, yes. Screaming, no way. There are lots of homebirth videos on youtube, if you're interested. Also, The Business of Being Born is a great movie about homebirth/midwifery/natural birth, that shows some realistic births, I think.

[shyshutterbug.livejournal.com]

I second that recommendation! :D

[archangelbeth]

I had a quasi-emergency c-section, so this is all hearsay from my mom... (Who had four kids; 1 in a South Africa hospital, 3 at home. I was one of the at-home ones and heartily ticked that my granola plans got derailed by pre-eclampsia, at 7 months' gestation.)

1: Not necessarily. Proper breathing techniques can keep pain from "reaching" the brain. Proper stretching can reduce tearing, or even eliminate it. Trying to push only at the last minute (more breathing techniques; *pant*pant*pant*) can also reduce too-fast stretching. It's not likely to be comfortable, but "going crazy with pain" is kind of extreme. Someone who was really scared and tense might have a really bad time, though.

1a: Different people have different pain tolerances. My periods generally involved -- if I didn't take ibuprofen -- rabid weasels trying to chew their way out of my belly. I am still kind of bummed I never got to compare contractions to this, but on the plus side... I only took 2/3rds of the expected ibuprofen after I was released from the hospital, after the aforementioned c-section. This apparently impressed the nurses.

1b: Different people also make different noises. Sometimes making a lot of noise is actually helping the woman not feel pain, whereas bottling it up and trying to be silent would cause tension and pain.

2: It depends on the birth, the pushing, whether oxytocin was used to induce contractions (which apparently are a heck of a lot stronger and more painful than natural ones)... It depends on the size of the kid. It pretty much depends. Just about anything above a minor tear, though, is likely to need some kind of care.

3: Again, it depends, but it's probably not exactly the same. It's not likely to be a visual, outside thing.

3a: What is a potentially "outside" thing is the hips, though. During pregnancy and especially childbirth, the cartilage that connects the hip bones at the front and at the spine (sacrum area) softens -- and stretches, to make the pelvic opening even wider so a kid's head can get through more easily. This change is pretty much permanent, as the hips just don't go back to quite the same position after. That's one reason for "Misses" and "Women's" sizes being different. "Women's" sizes are (or were) theoretically cut to reflect the different hip/waist proportions.

3b: Your cervix is likely to also change, and be more "open." This reduces the effectiveness of the contraceptive sponge, apparently, and will likely require a new "sizing" of a cervical cap or diaphragm, in the birth control side of things.

[rose-may2000.livejournal.com]

ahhh about the sizes, i never knew that

[poppleshatesyou.livejournal.com]

I can't speak from personal experience, so i can't answer your questions specifically. but i've witnessed a home birth and it was vaguely like the TLC shows depicting natural labor/home births etc. But very much different as well. You should check out the documentary "The Business of Being Born" it will answer some of your questions and probably more you didn't even know you had. If you poke around LJ a bit, there are quite a few communities dedicated to labor and birth, with quite a few birth stories.

[poppleshatesyou.livejournal.com]

I also wanted to add, that not all women tear, it is coming off as pretty common in the comments here, but i know a handful of women who did not tear at all. Thanks to trusty old organic olive oil, lubing the actual birth. Or women who give birth in water seem to tear less from what i've read/heard from my baby making friends.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I have 4 kids.

1) It's not nearly as bad as the movies, especially OLD movies. I lay quietly, doing my breathing for most of my labors. For the last one, I chanted softly. It helped.

They were worse than menstrual cramps, but only hit the "make it stop NOW" point about the time I was ready to deliver.

I didn't scream, I shouted a lot, including one delivery where I pushed the kid out with "now dammit now! now, dammit, NOW!" as I tried to get my husband to fetch the dr. faster. A good "Yeaaaaaaaaaughhhhhhhh!" of exertion is usually adequate.

2) Most women tear. Face it, you're pushing a grapefruit out an opening the size of a half-dollar. Some stretching can be done, if you deliver slowly enough. I deliver too fast for episiotomies.

They'll say there's enough pressure that it prevents the pain. They lie. There's a sharp pain and then you're sdistracted by the fact there's a baby on the move.

Tears can be stitched easily enough. But it's like sitting on a strip of chainmail until you heal up.

3) I didn't notice any change in my vagina.

[missierae.livejournal.com]

I also have 4 kids and I concur completely.

I've never screamed and I've never had pain meds other than half shots of narcotics way to early to last through. My first labour (6 hours) I told my mother I didn't want to do this anymore and I wanted to go home. LoL. About half hour later, she was born.

My second labour was ungodly long (23 hours 45 minutes) due to incompetent doctors not realizing the baby was posterior (facing up instead of down) and her head was cocked crooked ... ear first. 5 hours of no progress and a whole lot of pain. Once they figured that out, 15 minutes later she was born.

Third was super easy. 2 hours long.

Fourth was an emergency c-section due to a failed version (to turn the baby from breech to head down) that resulted in distress.

My first three were all post-term inductions. I've never went into labour on my own barring at 7 months with baby #2 that landed me in the hospital for awhile.

I tore with my first one and they cut me with my second. With my third they noticed the tear/cut hadn't properly been sewed (student doctors delivered the first two) so they cut and restitched properly during his birth. It hurts, but the pain is nothing compared to birth. It feels like a pin prick comparitively. Your dealing with a tremendous amount of pain so that is nothing.

I haven't noticed any changes from having the kids. :)

[marieskye.livejournal.com]

1. Is it really as bad as it is in the movies? Do people really scream/go crazy from the pain?
everyones different so theres no "one sz fits all" answer here. for me,it hurt pretty freakin bad,but its been 7 yrs so i cant exactly remember the pain. i DO remember thinking 'why didnt anyone tell me it would hurt so much?' i mean,you see it in movies,but none of my friends or family members were upfront about the pain. i think its because you forget the pain after a while. thats natures way of making sure we do it again,i guess :)

2. This is the big one... do a lot of women tear? How does THAT feel? Do they stitch you up or do you have to just let it heal or does it just simply depend?
Most women ive talked to get an episiotomy...i personally teared. Theres not a specific moment where i was like "OMG my vagina just teared!" it was a long slow process of tearing,i guess. They stitched me up and it healed pretty easily. ive heard that tearing on your own is a lot better than getting an episiotomy,because your body is better able to heal a natural tear.

3. After you give birth vaginally, is your vagina really never the same ever again? Is this only a physical, inside thing but also a visual, outside thing?

I think mine is pretty much the same,internally. On the outside,it looks a little different to me - a little more stretched out,but nothing too bad. Nothing to be concerned about.

And to be honest,its all worth it!! I'd do it again for sure.

[abalone99.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I am SO glad you asked these questions! I'm intensely curious about all the nitty gritty details too! I only found about the tearing thing probably about 3 or 4 years ago when I was like 21 and it has since TERRIFIED me. I really really want kids some day loooooong in the future, but holy hell the fear of the unknown is quite daunting.

After hearing about the tearing issue (as if periods weren't enough proof) I decided once and for all that IF a god does indeed exist it is most definitely of the male persuasion as no freaking way would a female deity ever let her own gender have to go through that kind of BS just to have kids, haha.

[hiriel1804.livejournal.com]

"I only found about the tearing thing probably about 3 or 4 years ago when I was like 21 and it has since TERRIFIED me"
Count yourself lucky. :P
We got to see it in a birthing video in sex ed at age 14. Best way to scare kids into abstaining, ever (that wasn't the intent, but really!). That video is shown in a lot of schools in Norway, and is partially blamed why so many young women today are terrified of giving birth, and ask for c-sections they don't need.
The maker of the video was in the papers last year, and said that, well, we know it's scary, but we never intended for 14-year-olds to see it. The video is a nitty-gritty, all details included video for parents-to-be. It's not for the faint of heart and/or scared teenagers ;p

[shil.livejournal.com]

Check out the lj community called "pregnant"... I went through a phase of being fascinated by the birth process as well and found that community. They have tags for "birth stories" and those are often really detailed descriptions of peoples' birthing process. Interesting stuff. One thing to note is that natural/home birth people are probably overrepresented in that community but it makes for more interesting reading with all the different birthing styles.

[shil.livejournal.com]

Also, from what I've read on there, it seems like some people scream whereas other people are pretty quiet/calm, it all depends on the person and the labour. Most women tear, but more often than not they seem to either not notice at the time or not care because they have a new baby very shortly after. Whether or not you get stitches depends on the size of the tear (and probably also on where you give birth - if you do it at home, you're probably not getting stitches for obvious reasons). As for the post-birth vagina thing, I have no idea, they never seem to mention it!

[primal-pastry.livejournal.com]

Each of my deliveries was different. My first was a pretty medical induction. I was 22 and really nervous so it was physically the worst. Even at that I'd say the big contractions felt almost exactly like intense gas cramps. The second kid was this amazing hippie experience all full of light and joy. The third was balls to the wall intense the whole time but not "painful".

I'd really recommend the book "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May Gaskin. It's full of really descriptive birthing stories that run the whole spectrum of the birthing experience.

[sickofyourbs.livejournal.com]

1. How bad it is really depends on the woman and the baby. For me, labor was cake. I did scream at the beginning of the pushing phase, according to my mom, but I honestly don't remember. I had 12 hours of unmedicated labor, my first child, and to be honest (maybe I'm a little twisted), looking back, I kind of enjoyed it. Yes, it hurt. My labor came on VERY fast - my contractions STARTED at 3 minutes apart, so they were probably fairly intense compared to most at the beginning. I would say they were the worst menstrual cramps I have ever experienced. From there, it progressed fairly slowly, so I was only dealing with a slight increase in pain at any given time, up until my water broke. Then, PAIN. Oh my GOD pain. I have a background in meditation, so keeping a level head up until my water broke was cake. But once it broke... all my nice even breathing went out the window, my quiet little moans turned into shrieks, and I honest to god felt like I HAD to squeeze my legs together while I was walking around to keep the baby from falling out. That was how I knew it was time to push. (The best way I can describe the pain AFTER the water broke was... imagine someone taking a ginormous crowbar to your cervix.)
2. I'm not sure how many women actually tear, but I think a significant amount get epesiotomies prior to tearing. If it tears, stitching it is difficult, because the edges are rarely even enough for stitches. An episiotomy is quickly sewn up in just a couple stitches. I had neither - luckily, despite the short pushing phase (only 30 minutes), I just had some stress "tracking", as my midwife called it. Basically, it tore the first couple layers of skin around my vagina, but not my perenium (I think that's what it's called). It was just enough to hurt when I peed, but not enough to warrant any stitches.
3. The vagina is never quite the same. It's much more accomodating, always, mostly because all of the muscle and tissue around it has been moved throughout pregnancy and labor. I believe, though I may be mistaken, that a similar change occurs even in women who have had a c-section, because the widening of the birth canal happens throughout pregnancy in preparation. That's not to say that the vagina is permanently loose - mine feels just as tight, if not tighter, particularly during sex, at the opening. But it is more accommodating - my husband is rather blessed, shall we say, and prior to pregnancy, I could never handle all of him. Now, I can. He says it still feels tight, but it's allowed us to get a little kinkier with toys and whatnot. Immediately after delivery, there is a definite visual change in the entire area, but as far as I know, the external appearance returns to fairly normal within a couple weeks.

Sorry for the novel. I love talking about my labor :-D

[anyakitty.livejournal.com]

Don't ever apologize! It's exactly what I asked for! Thanks for sharing. :)

[rose-may2000.livejournal.com]

also i was told about the community "clucky" . I thought it was pretty cool

[anyakitty.livejournal.com]

Just looked it up-- looks interesting! I'm not exactly understanding what "clucky" means though... although I'm sure I'll feel like an idiot when someone explains it to me.

[lunalove06.livejournal.com]

I have yet to birth my own children, so I can’t speak to the personal experience side of things. But I’m an aspiring midwife and a doula in training, so I’ve been learning a lot about labor and birth over the last several months. That said, from the reading and research I’ve done, it is apparent that homebirth midwives have fewer incidents of tearing at births they attend than do doctors or other health care professionals in hospitals. Part of this is because homebirth midwives are specifically trained in how to prevent tearing (such as applying a warm compress to the perineum while the baby is crowning), and also because artificial induction in the hospital leads to stronger, faster contractions and labor, and thus also higher incidence of tearing. Also, the cutting of episiotomies is much more common in the hospital, which has been proven to lead to more severe tearing (rather than to prevent it, which was its original intention). While homebirth midwives tend to have lower incidence of tearing, they are trained in how to treat tears should they occur (stitches/suturing).

The homebirth videos I’ve seen look nothing like how birth is portrayed in the media – in fact, most midwives I’ve talked to are fairly concerned about how birth is portrayed in the media, because it is neither realistic nor helpful to women, often causing a lot of fear in pregnant women.

Two excellent books on the subject are Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, both by Ina May Gaskin (one of the premier midwives in the US). Also great are The Diary of a Midwife by Juliana van Olphen-Fehr and Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife by Peggy Vincent, both of which give birth stories written by midwives.

[shyshutterbug.livejournal.com]

Baby Catcher is amazing. I lost my copy during a multi-state move in 2006 and am still mourning the loss. (Of course, I could just go out and buy a new copy, but still...)

[geminigirl]

I had an unmedicated childbirth six months ago with my daughter, and the only time I remotely did anything like scream was at the moment when her head popped past my cervix. It was more like a guttural groan followed by "I'm not pushing but her head is coming" after my labor had been stalled at the same dilation for hours. Some people scream, some don't. For me, low moans helped me when I felt the need to make noise...the idea was that tightening your mouth muscles by screaming would also tighten other muscles in your body-including the ones you wanted to loosen and relax as much as possible. "Loose mouth, loose vagina-tight mouth, tight vagina."

I didn't tear in any serious fashion-I had what one person called " a skid mark" and another "a scratch"-again, some people tear, some don't. There's lots you can do to help prevent tearing. I had no stitches.

I don't think my vulva and vagina look any different than before I was pregnant, but physically, some things are different. It's much tighter than before, and doesn't relax as easily as it did, but some of that is emotional and some probably physical. When there's scar tissue, it takes a little while for it to loosen and stretch again. My husband says that the angle of things feels a little differently and for most people, the cervix changes a bit after pregnancy, though I haven't started checking mine again since my daughter's birth so I don't know.

And I didn't poop during delivery either.

My daughter's birth was one of the most incredible, most amazing, most terrific experiences of my life. I am so glad I had an unmedicated birth, and can't imagine doing it differently.

[whatwe-know.livejournal.com]

OOOF. The thought of something THAT BIG going through my itty bitty nulliparous cervix just KILLS ME. I know it dilates...but STILL, auuggh!

You mommas are so brave. :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_greenfinch/]

1. In my opinion, no. Labor was just as the name states, labor. It was hard work, but not truly painful. Uncomfortable, yes, tiring, yes, painful, no. I could feel my little girl moving her way out of my body and honestly it was incredible - I'd never been so in tune with my own body or life for that matter.

I had a natural, spontaneous delivery in under 5 hours from water break to baby on belly.

2. I had a teeeeeny tear on my perineum which healed within 1 week and did not get stitched. I pushed at my own pace.

3. Mine looks exactly the same 5 months PP. It was pretty much back to normal within 1 week.

[kacieka.livejournal.com]

1. The pain was incredible. You don't... really.. notice a whole lot that's going on around you, you're so busy with trying to make it stop. I was planning on doing it all natural, but once labor hit... I decided to screw natural (no pun intended) and get anything I could get my hands on. I went into labor (actually WALKED myself into labor) October 30th, 2007 around 5pm. That day, I MADE myself get out of bed to get some fresh air. During the last week or so, I slept nearly 24/7 and had to force myself to get up to pee and eat. So.. after doing that for a week or two, I got myself ready and walked around on my parents 5 acre property. Needless to say, it wore me out. I went back to bed to take a nap. I was attempting to roll myself over to get comfortable, and wham... my water broke. The first thought in my head was... "Oh crap.. tell me my bladder is not THAT small. I did NOT just pee myself." and then realized my water broke. So much for that nap, huh? LOL. I eventually got some.. well hell, some pain medication through the IV... i can't think of the name. It helped for maybe 30 mins, if that. I was so loopy, I kept telling the nurses I wanted cheese, because I hadn't had anything but a cheeseburger to eat the day my water broke. Got it on camera too! So now my daughter can see me telling everyone I want cheese when she gets older, heh. Well... the IV meds didn't work too long. They also had to put some sort of medication in my IV to stabalize my contractions, they were pretty far apart and being really funky. I eventually got an epidural. Heaven. Couldn't feel a damn thing. Labor was really, really easy after that. Also... I had forgotten that I have a crooked back (a small form of scolosis i think) and my OB didn't know.. so... the needle they used for the epidural hurt more than it should have. The guy poked me in my back 6-7 times trying to find the right spot. I ended up screaming, "Son of a BITCH! Mother FUC...." and trailing off, realizing I was cussing in a Catholic hospital. Oops. I guess the most embarssing thing for me (I was lucky enough to have pooped and showered earlier in the day, for fear that I would poop during labor) was that I let out a giant, giant fart while my daughter was coming out. Not a little one. One of those long, lengthy, oh my god I farted.. type farts. No biggie though, I blame it on the epidural and not being able to feel anything haha.

2. I think its pretty common for women to tear, luckily I didn't. My OB was trying to get my daughter out, and two other nurses/aids or whatever was sort of holding my vagina lips to prevent tearing, if i can remember correctly.

3. My vagina was still pretty much the same afterwards. Besides being really, really sore... it was fine. I didn't notice anything unusual after it healed and I got over the soreness. I was more concerned with my back hurting for 3-4 months afterwards because of the epidural and my crooked back. :(

[storychick.livejournal.com]

1. I didn't find it that bad. I'd much rather give birth than have a migraine, for comparison. Its a different kind of pain, mostly -- not an "OMG there's something wrong here" pain, more like a really hard workout "no pain no gain" kind of pain. The actual baby-coming-out hurts like whoa, but its totally do-able.

2. I didn't in any of my 3 deliveries. My first I did get a skid mark (kinda like a scrape) inside my vagina, but that healed pretty well. After my last I wasn't even sore, I swear I've had sex that did more damage than her birth. lol

3. Mine definitely changed after my first -- I have what looks like a little tongue that sticks out, now, from my hymenal remnants. heh My hubby says he doesn't notice the difference in terms of sex. I think sex is better, actually -- I have more sensation and can actually orgasm from intercourse now. I don't remember my pre-child vagina anymore, though, its been 8 years.

For background, I've had 3 out of hospital, unmedicated, unhindered births. My first was in a free-standing birth center, my second and third at home, all with a midwife. No IV, no one touching me during the labor other than occasional heartbeat checks on baby and a blood pressure on me. I labored in water with all of them, delivered 2 & 3 in the tub. My birth stories are http://www.silverhand.net/baby/story.html and http://storychick.livejournal.com/2003/06/16/ and http://storychick.livejournal.com/315665.html#cutid1 if you want to read some detail. :)

[awriterswindow.livejournal.com]

Your birth stories are so beautiful! The older I get and the more I learn about labor and delivery, the more strongly I consider using a midwife. It sounds like such a positive experience for both mom and baby!

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

Here's an interesting tidbit no one has mentioned, with regards to tearing. I have read (never been pregnant! But I read a lot of blogs. ;) ) that medically speaking, it is better to tear than to have them cut you (give you an episiotomy) - the reason for this is that tears actually heal more easily, because of their rough edges. Also, a cut is more likely to "run" (like if you cut your stockings!) whereas a rip is less likely to tear as far.

[real-bethy.livejournal.com]

That's true!

[real-bethy.livejournal.com]

I'm a doula (professional pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum support person) and I've been at many births, both in the hospital and at home.

Birth isn't really like what they show in the movies. Not everybody finds birth horrifically painful (some womyn have orgasms when they give birth...check out http://www.orgasmicbirth.com/)...I think it depends on what your pain threshold is like and whether or not you are overly anxious. I've seen some Mamas have a baby while barely breaking a sweat and others labour for days (I was at a birth last month that lasted three days).

I've never had someone who was a screamer - I encourage my Mamas to make as much noise as they need to, but to keep their sounds low in their body. The more loose your jaw is, the more loose your vagina is.

Tearing depends on a lot of things: how fast did the baby come out, did the womyn do perineal massage, the position the Mama was in when she pushed out the baby, genetics, etc. Sometimes tears can heal on their own and sometimes they need stiches - it depends. Interesting fact: a lot of care providers use special thread now that provides a continuous stitch, so there isn't a "number" of stitches that people get.

Lots of womyn poop during birth. Your body often "cleans" itself out, so it's not unusual for a womyn to pee and poop a lot in labour. Plus, there is a ton of pressure on your rectum, so poop gets pushed out. It's all good though - doctors, midwives, doulas...we've seen it all and we don't get phased by the blood, poop, pee, vomit...any of it. I've had all of the above and amniotic fluid on me and I just consider it part of the job.

Two things that surprised me when I first started attending births: the bloodiest part of birth isn't when the baby comes out but AFTERWARDS, when the placenta separates from the wall of the uterus...and the smell of birth. It's kind of like a mixture of raw beef and wet cat. That might be TMI...sorry!

Every vagina is different, but most womyn don't notice much difference in theirs once they give birth. Your cervix certainly changes its size (which is why you need a different sized cervical cap or Diva Cup) but it isn't like a giant cavern where a penis, vibrator or friendly finger can get lost. It also depends on how many children you have, as well. If you have eight babies your vagina isn't going to be quite the same as it is if you have two babies...but like I said, again, the change is minimal to your vagina. You aren't flapping in the breeze or anything crazy like that. I know some people who say things like, "Oh, she's had four babies, having sex with her must be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway" and all sorts of other stupid things. That's not the way it works.It certainly helps to do Kegel exercises to keep up your pelvic strength - that's where some of the vagina's "tightness" comes from.

I'm happy to answer any questions you may have!

[whatwe-know.livejournal.com]

...raw beef and wet cat??? EEEEEWW. :) good to know, though...

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

1. My mom didn't scream at all. She said the nurses were surprised at how 'stoic' she was. She never had any pain medication for any of her 3 births and while long, they weren't incredibly painful or anything. She just kept up with her breathing.

2. I know for her last birth my mom's doctor was an asshole and gave her an episiotomy without her consent. It really pissed her off because she had had no problem recovering from her other two births, but the episiotomy left a permanent scar and was, she felt, wholly unnecessary.

3. Can't answer this one for her, heh.

[revoless.livejournal.com]

1. My menstrual cramps are (er... were, as they still haven't come back yet) bad enough that they often woke and kept me up at night. I would double over from the pain and audibly gasp from them. That didn't even compare to actual labour. I didn't scream or go crazy, but I did cry and want to give up, so I think that's mostly a matter of personal temperment. You do keep your temperment in labour, it's just that the worst parts of it come out. I'm not inclined to screaming or getting angry, so I didn't. Early cramps were impossible to sleep through, though I catnapped between them. Those were not quite as bad as my menstrual cramps. Once my dilation really started progressing I ended up writhing off of and gripping the bed fairly consistently. The movements were close to those I make during a really great, overwhelming orgasm, actually. Got an epidural, but all it really seemed to do was slow my labour/slow my baby's heartbeat, and it had completely worn off by the time pushing came. Wasn't too bad at that point except for feeling like my hips were going to break apart. Dislocate a joint. Keep pulling for hours at a time. And then try to exert yourself and actually accomplish something through the pain. That was the worst of it, for me. That pain killed everything else once he really started coming out, though I could certainly feel the contractions just like in the beginning. I really can't think of anything that compares to the pain level. Not that I've experienced. It was, probably, up to 15x the intensity of my normal cramps... but it's a poor comparison.
2. I tore. They also gave me an episiotomy. I had star-shaped tearing all around my vulva, in fact. They stitch you up, and it is quite common. Took me three months to heal the wounds completely, internally and externally. Part of this is my fault for not settling down and letting myself heal though. I wasn't in pain, in spite of being pretty badly wounded (good pain tolerance), so I just kept moving.
3. Mine looks the same outside as it did before, at least as far as I can tell. It feels the same, at least. Internally it feels different. There seem to be more twists and turns, it's a little tighter, and my cervix feels a little scarred now.

[revoless.livejournal.com]

A few notes on this: I'm extremely anxious naturally and cannot bring myself to breath while in pain or exerting myself. Tried for years, just can't do it. I've passed out while exercising due to this. I'm also internally very small and had an eight pound baby. The labour was also very fast: the epidural slowed it, and they gave me additional drugs to slow it, but still everything happened all at once and my body was not prepared for it at all. All of this combined with people telling me to push when I was only 90% dilated led to... bad things. But with the baby intermittently distressed, it was either that or a c-section (not something you want to hear on your birthing bed, let me tell you...)

[skullfuckery.livejournal.com]

I am so glad you asked this because I've always been incredibly curious, but nobody close to me has ever been pregnant. It's really made me feel a lot less nervous about being pregnant, if and when the time comes.

[spoofed.livejournal.com]

1. Is it really as bad as it is in the movies? Do people really scream/go crazy from the pain? Can you compare contractions to menstrual cramps to give me an idea of how much worse they are?
I found it indescribably painful. Far worse than broken bones. Menstrual cramps? Don't make me laugh- I know some women say labour pains are like bad period pains, but for me, the difference between the two is like the difference between stubbing your toe and having it slowly burned off with acid. I screamed and swore and thought I might die. It was truly awesome pain, for me.

2. This is the big one... do a lot of women tear? How does THAT feel? Do they stitch you up or do you have to just let it heal or does it just simply depend?
I didn't tear. Well, there were minor lacerations, but no tear. Which was sort of surprising, given that this was my first baby and my total labour had only lasted 2.5 hours- he fairly shot out of me (which is why it hurt so much, I think- I went from zero to active labour with the first contraction). I've heard that it's better to heal naturally than to have stitches, but I expect there are some tears which need stitching, so you have to go on a case by case basis, really.

3. After you give birth vaginally, is your vagina really never the same ever again? Is this only a physical, inside thing but also a visual, outside thing?
It doesn't look any different to me! It feels a bit different, but it's pretty much back to normal in terms of tightness. Pelvis floor exercises are great.

[poison-mekare.livejournal.com]

the difference between the two is like the difference between stubbing your toe and having it slowly burned off with acid


hahahaha I have to laugh because it is SO true... There is no comparison, bad period cramps are a 1 on the scale and labour pains are more like, a 10.

[tea-fiend.livejournal.com]

1. I suspect people don't generally go actually crazy, because then, um, all mothers would be crazy. But your brain does forget the pain after. Well, usually - my brother-in-law's mother still remembers giving birth to him with perfect clarity, and refused to go through it again.

2. A lot? I don't know. I'm told you don't really notice tearing that much because everything's that much of a painful mess down there anyway. If it's bad they stitch. My mate managed to tear her labia giving birth; it's the one thing I've come across that evokes a similar reaction in women to men and testicle-kicking.

[poison-mekare.livejournal.com]

I ended up having an emergency C-section so I can't really speak about that aspect of the birth but I had a full unmedicated labour up until that point, I actually made it to the full ten centimeters (of cervical dialation) before they decided to go through with the C-section due to fetal distress (her head was in a bad position and also the cord was wrapped around her neck). I think might have been possible to correct this but at that point it was safer to do the C-section.

I wanted a home birth so I didn't have any pain medication AT ALL. I was transferred to the hospital after being stuck in transition (the worst part of labour itself) for a few hours, the midwives were amazing throughout the whole thing and I really loved having them there to speak up for me at the hospital. They gave me the epidural literally five minutes before they cut me open to take her out, before that it was allll natural. To be honest the pain was excrutiating. But it may have been worse because my baby's head wasn't putting the right pressure on the cervix and while I felt lots of pain it wasn't doing much. The part that hurt the most was when I wasn't allowed to push and yet my body was still pushing of it's own accord. If you have to push and it's safe (no fetal distress), PUSH. It hurts less than trying to stop your body from doing so, truly.

It's like when someone punches you in the arm, the first time it hurts, but if they keep punching you over and over in the same spot eventually the pain is incomparable to the first punch. I was in labour for 21 hours or so. I cried, I moaned, there were no screams, but the moans were a touch on the hysterical side after the first 15 hours or so. I had to turn my head and shove it into a pillow with every contraction to stifle the volume near the end.

I have to say that I would do it all over again and I still would not choose to use the pain meds! I found it almost as an exhilarating challenge, like climbing mount everest. It might be HARD but it was still very empowering to go through it. In fact I CAN'T WAIT to do it again.

So there you have it, maybe labour does make you a little crazy, haha.