vaginapagina | Labor and delivery curiosity!

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Labor and delivery curiosity!

Okay, I have always been SO curious about the nitty gritty details of labor and delivery. I am fascinated by those shows that come on TLC sometimes depicting natural and home births. I don't ever plan on having children but I just simply must know:

1. Is it really as bad as it is in the movies? Do people really scream/go crazy from the pain? Can you compare contractions to menstrual cramps to give me an idea of how much worse they are?

2. This is the big one... do a lot of women tear? How does THAT feel? Do they stitch you up or do you have to just let it heal or does it just simply depend?

3. After you give birth vaginally, is your vagina really never the same ever again? Is this only a physical, inside thing but also a visual, outside thing?

Please, don't spare me any details, I want it all no matter how questionable. It's either this or asking my boyfriend's sister who is pregnant for the second time and I'd rather not, haha. Thanks in advance!

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1. I had an epidural, so I felt no pain, just intense pressure. It wasn't too bad, but I have a pretty high pain tolerance. Trying to breathe through the pushes was kinda hard, though.

2. I had a small tear on the side of my labia, took a few stitches to get it closed up. It was only about a half inch long, no pain at all after the first day or so, just itchy.

3. Hubby says I'm tighter now! Of course, I do kegels regularly, but once we were going at it again, neither of us noticed any, uh, "looseness", and within a couple weeks after that he noticed the tightness. I noticed the back of my vulva pokes out a little more, but that's it :)

I can't speak from experience, cause I've never had kids. But I've heard it's not nearly as dramatic as the movies (labor is generally a long and drawn out process) and I've heard all the pushing makes you poop.

I've watched quite a few home birth videos, and in general no one is screaming. A lot of people (especially during transition) cry or say things like "I can't do this" but I don't think I've seen ANY homebirth videos, actually, where people are screaming. Moaning, yes. Screaming, no way. There are lots of homebirth videos on youtube, if you're interested. Also, The Business of Being Born is a great movie about homebirth/midwifery/natural birth, that shows some realistic births, I think.

Oh, and I pooped. Just a little poolet, but it was there.

I second that recommendation! :D

I had a quasi-emergency c-section, so this is all hearsay from my mom... (Who had four kids; 1 in a South Africa hospital, 3 at home. I was one of the at-home ones and heartily ticked that my granola plans got derailed by pre-eclampsia, at 7 months' gestation.)

1: Not necessarily. Proper breathing techniques can keep pain from "reaching" the brain. Proper stretching can reduce tearing, or even eliminate it. Trying to push only at the last minute (more breathing techniques; *pant*pant*pant*) can also reduce too-fast stretching. It's not likely to be comfortable, but "going crazy with pain" is kind of extreme. Someone who was really scared and tense might have a really bad time, though.

1a: Different people have different pain tolerances. My periods generally involved -- if I didn't take ibuprofen -- rabid weasels trying to chew their way out of my belly. I am still kind of bummed I never got to compare contractions to this, but on the plus side... I only took 2/3rds of the expected ibuprofen after I was released from the hospital, after the aforementioned c-section. This apparently impressed the nurses.

1b: Different people also make different noises. Sometimes making a lot of noise is actually helping the woman not feel pain, whereas bottling it up and trying to be silent would cause tension and pain.

2: It depends on the birth, the pushing, whether oxytocin was used to induce contractions (which apparently are a heck of a lot stronger and more painful than natural ones)... It depends on the size of the kid. It pretty much depends. Just about anything above a minor tear, though, is likely to need some kind of care.

3: Again, it depends, but it's probably not exactly the same. It's not likely to be a visual, outside thing.

3a: What is a potentially "outside" thing is the hips, though. During pregnancy and especially childbirth, the cartilage that connects the hip bones at the front and at the spine (sacrum area) softens -- and stretches, to make the pelvic opening even wider so a kid's head can get through more easily. This change is pretty much permanent, as the hips just don't go back to quite the same position after. That's one reason for "Misses" and "Women's" sizes being different. "Women's" sizes are (or were) theoretically cut to reflect the different hip/waist proportions.

3b: Your cervix is likely to also change, and be more "open." This reduces the effectiveness of the contraceptive sponge, apparently, and will likely require a new "sizing" of a cervical cap or diaphragm, in the birth control side of things.

I can't speak from personal experience, so i can't answer your questions specifically. but i've witnessed a home birth and it was vaguely like the TLC shows depicting natural labor/home births etc. But very much different as well. You should check out the documentary "The Business of Being Born" it will answer some of your questions and probably more you didn't even know you had. If you poke around LJ a bit, there are quite a few communities dedicated to labor and birth, with quite a few birth stories.

I have 4 kids.

1) It's not nearly as bad as the movies, especially OLD movies. I lay quietly, doing my breathing for most of my labors. For the last one, I chanted softly. It helped.

They were worse than menstrual cramps, but only hit the "make it stop NOW" point about the time I was ready to deliver.

I didn't scream, I shouted a lot, including one delivery where I pushed the kid out with "now dammit now! now, dammit, NOW!" as I tried to get my husband to fetch the dr. faster. A good "Yeaaaaaaaaaughhhhhhhh!" of exertion is usually adequate.

2) Most women tear. Face it, you're pushing a grapefruit out an opening the size of a half-dollar. Some stretching can be done, if you deliver slowly enough. I deliver too fast for episiotomies.

They'll say there's enough pressure that it prevents the pain. They lie. There's a sharp pain and then you're sdistracted by the fact there's a baby on the move.

Tears can be stitched easily enough. But it's like sitting on a strip of chainmail until you heal up.

3) I didn't notice any change in my vagina.

1. Is it really as bad as it is in the movies? Do people really scream/go crazy from the pain?
everyones different so theres no "one sz fits all" answer here. for me,it hurt pretty freakin bad,but its been 7 yrs so i cant exactly remember the pain. i DO remember thinking 'why didnt anyone tell me it would hurt so much?' i mean,you see it in movies,but none of my friends or family members were upfront about the pain. i think its because you forget the pain after a while. thats natures way of making sure we do it again,i guess :)

2. This is the big one... do a lot of women tear? How does THAT feel? Do they stitch you up or do you have to just let it heal or does it just simply depend?
Most women ive talked to get an episiotomy...i personally teared. Theres not a specific moment where i was like "OMG my vagina just teared!" it was a long slow process of tearing,i guess. They stitched me up and it healed pretty easily. ive heard that tearing on your own is a lot better than getting an episiotomy,because your body is better able to heal a natural tear.

3. After you give birth vaginally, is your vagina really never the same ever again? Is this only a physical, inside thing but also a visual, outside thing?

I think mine is pretty much the same,internally. On the outside,it looks a little different to me - a little more stretched out,but nothing too bad. Nothing to be concerned about.

And to be honest,its all worth it!! I'd do it again for sure.

Oh man, I am SO glad you asked these questions! I'm intensely curious about all the nitty gritty details too! I only found about the tearing thing probably about 3 or 4 years ago when I was like 21 and it has since TERRIFIED me. I really really want kids some day loooooong in the future, but holy hell the fear of the unknown is quite daunting.

After hearing about the tearing issue (as if periods weren't enough proof) I decided once and for all that IF a god does indeed exist it is most definitely of the male persuasion as no freaking way would a female deity ever let her own gender have to go through that kind of BS just to have kids, haha.

Check out the lj community called "pregnant"... I went through a phase of being fascinated by the birth process as well and found that community. They have tags for "birth stories" and those are often really detailed descriptions of peoples' birthing process. Interesting stuff. One thing to note is that natural/home birth people are probably overrepresented in that community but it makes for more interesting reading with all the different birthing styles.

Also, from what I've read on there, it seems like some people scream whereas other people are pretty quiet/calm, it all depends on the person and the labour. Most women tear, but more often than not they seem to either not notice at the time or not care because they have a new baby very shortly after. Whether or not you get stitches depends on the size of the tear (and probably also on where you give birth - if you do it at home, you're probably not getting stitches for obvious reasons). As for the post-birth vagina thing, I have no idea, they never seem to mention it!

I loled at "poolet." :)

Each of my deliveries was different. My first was a pretty medical induction. I was 22 and really nervous so it was physically the worst. Even at that I'd say the big contractions felt almost exactly like intense gas cramps. The second kid was this amazing hippie experience all full of light and joy. The third was balls to the wall intense the whole time but not "painful".

I'd really recommend the book "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May Gaskin. It's full of really descriptive birthing stories that run the whole spectrum of the birthing experience.

ahhh about the sizes, i never knew that

1. How bad it is really depends on the woman and the baby. For me, labor was cake. I did scream at the beginning of the pushing phase, according to my mom, but I honestly don't remember. I had 12 hours of unmedicated labor, my first child, and to be honest (maybe I'm a little twisted), looking back, I kind of enjoyed it. Yes, it hurt. My labor came on VERY fast - my contractions STARTED at 3 minutes apart, so they were probably fairly intense compared to most at the beginning. I would say they were the worst menstrual cramps I have ever experienced. From there, it progressed fairly slowly, so I was only dealing with a slight increase in pain at any given time, up until my water broke. Then, PAIN. Oh my GOD pain. I have a background in meditation, so keeping a level head up until my water broke was cake. But once it broke... all my nice even breathing went out the window, my quiet little moans turned into shrieks, and I honest to god felt like I HAD to squeeze my legs together while I was walking around to keep the baby from falling out. That was how I knew it was time to push. (The best way I can describe the pain AFTER the water broke was... imagine someone taking a ginormous crowbar to your cervix.)
2. I'm not sure how many women actually tear, but I think a significant amount get epesiotomies prior to tearing. If it tears, stitching it is difficult, because the edges are rarely even enough for stitches. An episiotomy is quickly sewn up in just a couple stitches. I had neither - luckily, despite the short pushing phase (only 30 minutes), I just had some stress "tracking", as my midwife called it. Basically, it tore the first couple layers of skin around my vagina, but not my perenium (I think that's what it's called). It was just enough to hurt when I peed, but not enough to warrant any stitches.
3. The vagina is never quite the same. It's much more accomodating, always, mostly because all of the muscle and tissue around it has been moved throughout pregnancy and labor. I believe, though I may be mistaken, that a similar change occurs even in women who have had a c-section, because the widening of the birth canal happens throughout pregnancy in preparation. That's not to say that the vagina is permanently loose - mine feels just as tight, if not tighter, particularly during sex, at the opening. But it is more accommodating - my husband is rather blessed, shall we say, and prior to pregnancy, I could never handle all of him. Now, I can. He says it still feels tight, but it's allowed us to get a little kinkier with toys and whatnot. Immediately after delivery, there is a definite visual change in the entire area, but as far as I know, the external appearance returns to fairly normal within a couple weeks.

Sorry for the novel. I love talking about my labor :-D

We're a poop-private couple, but when I was in labor, my husband walked me to the bathroom and popped me on the can to poop, and then helped me get up when I was done. I was a little mortified, but it was either him or my midwife, and I'd much rather have him see me poop.

also i was told about the community "clucky" . I thought it was pretty cool

Don't ever apologize! It's exactly what I asked for! Thanks for sharing. :)

An episiotomy is quickly sewn up in just a couple stitches.

This made me lol without your trying to make me. My mom had an episiotomy and still had a 4th degree tear. She gave me the Precious Gift of Life, and I returned the favor with 50 stitches to the perineum.

(Clearly I started causing trouble early.)

(Edited because I just ended a sentence with a preposition and a Grammar Nerd such as myself knows better.)

Edited 2008-10-29 02:46 (UTC)

I have yet to birth my own children, so I can’t speak to the personal experience side of things. But I’m an aspiring midwife and a doula in training, so I’ve been learning a lot about labor and birth over the last several months. That said, from the reading and research I’ve done, it is apparent that homebirth midwives have fewer incidents of tearing at births they attend than do doctors or other health care professionals in hospitals. Part of this is because homebirth midwives are specifically trained in how to prevent tearing (such as applying a warm compress to the perineum while the baby is crowning), and also because artificial induction in the hospital leads to stronger, faster contractions and labor, and thus also higher incidence of tearing. Also, the cutting of episiotomies is much more common in the hospital, which has been proven to lead to more severe tearing (rather than to prevent it, which was its original intention). While homebirth midwives tend to have lower incidence of tearing, they are trained in how to treat tears should they occur (stitches/suturing).

The homebirth videos I’ve seen look nothing like how birth is portrayed in the media – in fact, most midwives I’ve talked to are fairly concerned about how birth is portrayed in the media, because it is neither realistic nor helpful to women, often causing a lot of fear in pregnant women.

Two excellent books on the subject are Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, both by Ina May Gaskin (one of the premier midwives in the US). Also great are The Diary of a Midwife by Juliana van Olphen-Fehr and Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife by Peggy Vincent, both of which give birth stories written by midwives.

I had an unmedicated childbirth six months ago with my daughter, and the only time I remotely did anything like scream was at the moment when her head popped past my cervix. It was more like a guttural groan followed by "I'm not pushing but her head is coming" after my labor had been stalled at the same dilation for hours. Some people scream, some don't. For me, low moans helped me when I felt the need to make noise...the idea was that tightening your mouth muscles by screaming would also tighten other muscles in your body-including the ones you wanted to loosen and relax as much as possible. "Loose mouth, loose vagina-tight mouth, tight vagina."

I didn't tear in any serious fashion-I had what one person called " a skid mark" and another "a scratch"-again, some people tear, some don't. There's lots you can do to help prevent tearing. I had no stitches.

I don't think my vulva and vagina look any different than before I was pregnant, but physically, some things are different. It's much tighter than before, and doesn't relax as easily as it did, but some of that is emotional and some probably physical. When there's scar tissue, it takes a little while for it to loosen and stretch again. My husband says that the angle of things feels a little differently and for most people, the cervix changes a bit after pregnancy, though I haven't started checking mine again since my daughter's birth so I don't know.

And I didn't poop during delivery either.

My daughter's birth was one of the most incredible, most amazing, most terrific experiences of my life. I am so glad I had an unmedicated birth, and can't imagine doing it differently.

Baby Catcher is amazing. I lost my copy during a multi-state move in 2006 and am still mourning the loss. (Of course, I could just go out and buy a new copy, but still...)

You might of got 50 stitches to your mum.

I was "pulled out" after a 26 hour labor, the doctor had apparently had enough, I'm the youngest of 6 I should mention that too. My parents are both nurses.

By the time they got me screaming, my mother was knocked out and in emergency surgery. She couldn't walk for the first 9 months of my life, and has told me continuously that I've done nothing but cause trouble.

19 years later, and she is still going through shit from the crap labor. HOWEVER OP this is rare, the doctor was fed up, Dad and Mum have told me continuously that its very rare, and that the doctor pulled me out with forceps.

Just looked it up-- looks interesting! I'm not exactly understanding what "clucky" means though... although I'm sure I'll feel like an idiot when someone explains it to me.

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