Pain during sex after period of celibacy?

[irishblue.livejournal.com]

Hey!

So, here's the deal: I'm sexually active with my boyfriend, the same one I lost my virginity too. Anyway, we have sex regularly, but I've noticed that if we don't for a little while, I get...erm, tighter. At least, it seems like I do. Example, during the 2 weeks of finals at my school, we didn't have sex for a while and when we finally did...ow. Big ow.

Well, we're in two different places for the summer and have been apart for about a month and a half now. And he's coming to visit in two weeks and we'll probably end up having sex.

Since it's been so long, I'm just nervous about the possible pain. Is there anything I can do? Also, has any one else experienced anything like this? Am I actually getting "tighter" or is it a mental thing?

Thanks in advance!

Comments

[archangelbeth]

*winces slightly at prior post* The thing to remember about "all in your head" is that what's in your head can indeed affect the reflexes -- if you're expecting pain, and you tense up, you're more likely to get pain. Knowing this... It's a reflex, it's not necessarily under conscious control. (The extreme end is vaginismus!)

While you may not be objectively "tighter," you may not be prepared, relaxed, or used to the sensation. If you don't masturbate with insertion of boyfriend-sized toys, your vagina is going, "Woah! Wait, what is this thing?" And your muscles may reflexively "blink" down there, which is literal tightness and can make things painful if you try to go on.

If you can go slower, with lots of foreplay and lube, that would probably help. If you've got enough endorphins in your system, a minor amount of discomfort may not register as pain so much as "whee, more sensation!" If you can masturbate with insertion, to remind your body "no, really, this is fun!", that might also help.

[irishblue.livejournal.com]

The "blinking" idea really sounds alot like what happens to me. I was trying to think of how to put it and you nailed it right on the head.

I've been trying to masturbate with insertion, but it seems to be making me more nervous as I noticed it's hard to even get my finger in me. I think I just might get more aroused and comfortable with my boyfriend. As you mentioned, what's in your head can affect reflexes.

Thank you so much for your advice! I really appreciate it.

Also, boyfriend-sized toys is the best phrase ever.