Disclosing STI status is inherently a personal decision, but it's also an ethical one. Ethically, I think it is imperative that partners (in any kind of sex, kissing, or whatever) openly communicate about possible risks. I realize that isn't always the reality, but I think that is something to strive for.
I think the reason the stakes are higher with sex versus kissing is that the danger is also higher. Not necessarily with regards to herpes, though I would argue that for many people, genital herpes could be more painful and problematic than oral herpes might be (partially because of the stigma, perhaps, but also because physically, it seems like a more sensitive place to have painful sores). But definitely in terms of HIV, and other STIs, that won't be transmitted through kissing but could be through other forms of physical/sexual contact.
It's always up to the individual to make the decision, but in this case, I think there is an ethically sound choice and a...not-so-ethically-sound one, which I believe is what the OP is considering.
no subject
I think the reason the stakes are higher with sex versus kissing is that the danger is also higher. Not necessarily with regards to herpes, though I would argue that for many people, genital herpes could be more painful and problematic than oral herpes might be (partially because of the stigma, perhaps, but also because physically, it seems like a more sensitive place to have painful sores). But definitely in terms of HIV, and other STIs, that won't be transmitted through kissing but could be through other forms of physical/sexual contact.
It's always up to the individual to make the decision, but in this case, I think there is an ethically sound choice and a...not-so-ethically-sound one, which I believe is what the OP is considering.