I generally have to really trust someone to have their finger(s) inside me. I have been very uncomfortable with some of my lovers touching me with their fingers -- penises and toys have never been an issue. Some of this stems from two assaults when I was younger, some of it is linked to boys who are clumsy or insensitive with their hands. It's also incredibly intimate. All this to say that I can understand how you feel.
However, I commend you for getting an exam -- I didn't until I was in college and a girlfriend dragged me. I'd had irregular periods since I was 15 (going 3-8 months between them.) I had a good experience then, but a negative one later when I was in my 20's that kept me away from docs until I was 30. I now have a wonderful doctor and have been taking care of my health for the first time in my life. I feel much more empowered about my body in general and feel less intimidated by doctors. I encourage you to find a new doc, talk to them, and keep at it - it's worth it.
I've found it helps me if there is more than one person in the room during the exam. I like being able to focus on another person, rather than have weird disembodied feelings from between my legs. Holding a nurses hand has helped me breathe and relax.
I second the poster who suggested exploring your body (sexually or non-sexually.) Get a mirror, take a look, explore. It will get easier as time goes on. Sorry you had a bad experience, if you can't shake it you might consider talking with someone about it.
no subject
However, I commend you for getting an exam -- I didn't until I was in college and a girlfriend dragged me. I'd had irregular periods since I was 15 (going 3-8 months between them.) I had a good experience then, but a negative one later when I was in my 20's that kept me away from docs until I was 30. I now have a wonderful doctor and have been taking care of my health for the first time in my life. I feel much more empowered about my body in general and feel less intimidated by doctors. I encourage you to find a new doc, talk to them, and keep at it - it's worth it.
I've found it helps me if there is more than one person in the room during the exam. I like being able to focus on another person, rather than have weird disembodied feelings from between my legs. Holding a nurses hand has helped me breathe and relax.
I second the poster who suggested exploring your body (sexually or non-sexually.) Get a mirror, take a look, explore. It will get easier as time goes on. Sorry you had a bad experience, if you can't shake it you might consider talking with someone about it.