I would recommend finding a different doctor but I would also recommend working on relaxation techniques.
My first attempted pelvic exam was incredibly traumatic for me. It hurt like crazy and I don't think they actually even got the speculum open. I was virgin and had never been able to use tampons. I was (still am) a generally tense person, especially about my genital area (because of a past assault.)
It wasn't until the next year when I went to get my HBC script renewed that the doctor realized something was definitely not right. The first attempted exam that year had me jumping off the table. She had me come back after taking some valium. I still jumped off the table. She gave me a referral to my mom's gyno (she was a GP).
One look at me in the stirrups and the gyno saw the problem. I had an incredibly thick hymen and needed a hymenotomy before I could experience any penetration.
Even after the procedure I would still get tense during exams but I always had gentle, understanding doctors who didn't rush me (except for the health center one who made me hold the speculum in place for her) and helped me learn how to relax.
I am now no longer a virgin and my last pelvic exam was a total breeze. Relaxation and an understanding doctor is the key.
Trauma survived (long comment but hopefully helpful)
My first attempted pelvic exam was incredibly traumatic for me. It hurt like crazy and I don't think they actually even got the speculum open. I was virgin and had never been able to use tampons. I was (still am) a generally tense person, especially about my genital area (because of a past assault.)
It wasn't until the next year when I went to get my HBC script renewed that the doctor realized something was definitely not right. The first attempted exam that year had me jumping off the table. She had me come back after taking some valium. I still jumped off the table. She gave me a referral to my mom's gyno (she was a GP).
One look at me in the stirrups and the gyno saw the problem. I had an incredibly thick hymen and needed a hymenotomy before I could experience any penetration.
Even after the procedure I would still get tense during exams but I always had gentle, understanding doctors who didn't rush me (except for the health center one who made me hold the speculum in place for her) and helped me learn how to relax.
I am now no longer a virgin and my last pelvic exam was a total breeze. Relaxation and an understanding doctor is the key.