Having had a long term gynecological condition, I have had a number of pelvic exams by a number of different people. I can totally agree with feeling violated. For me, it depends on who does it and how they approach it. I have felt violated after some exams, and fine after others. I can empathise, and no, I don't think it's bizarre for you to freak out under the circumstances. Sure, some women might cope okay, but as you said, you've never had anything up there before, and I always preferred gynecologists who did what they had to do quickly, gently and sensitively without drawing me into the whole experience by having a conversation with me while it was going on. I can understand for some women this might be helpful; for me it's not.

See a counsellor if you freak out over sex. Don't feel bad about how you feel from your first pelvic exam; we all respond to things differently and I don't think you should be made to feel like there's something wrong with you because your first pelvic exam was distressing.