related to previous "my low sex drive" post

[asfishlovewater.livejournal.com]

i have a very similar problem. however, mine has been pretty constant for as long as i can remember. i am still technically a virgin. but it's mostly because i don't care enough to actually have sex. for the past two years or so i have been taking antidepressants and i am also taking a birth control pill for cramps and acne purposes. i like the thought of sex. i want to like sex. but i just don't seem to care when it gets down to it.

i read the previous post and the comments that followed. i really related to the problem. i agree with the comments that suggested that it may be because of the medications. my problem is that it started before the medications. i also don't have a doctor i feel comfortable talking to. i have never been to an ob/gyn. also, our family physician is kind of a nut job. the last time i was trying to talk to him about my continued problems with depression, he told me that finding jesus might help. don't get me wrong, i think faith is wonderful and remarkable, but when i'm paying to see a doctor, i'd like some medical advice please.

any suggestions? please and thank you.

p.s. i found this community two days ago and am just in awe. the support and love you all have for each other is refreshing and beautiful. thank you so much! it's truely inspiring.

Comments

[robynchick.livejournal.com]

Find a new doctor! If you're still at home, let your parents know this doctor makes you uncomfortable, and he's not taking you seriously.

Honestly, if you can, try to get off the antidepressants. Ultimately, this would be your best chance of finding your sex drive. Antidepressents are a short term solution to a long term problem. But don't take my word for it, have a talk with a physician that you like!

[peradouro.livejournal.com]

I don't know about the medications part but I know that my low sex drive hinges a lot on my emotions. When I'm not happy, I'm not feelin sexy. Also, when I was in my late teens I finally figured out that I need lots of foreplay and I wasn't dating people who knew a damned thing about foreplay (sexual cuddling) and/or pre-foreplay (displays of affection). Sorry those are my own terms to kind of cut down on explanation length. So, anyway maybe you need a good cuddly SO to help you out. Self cuddling is helpful too IME :)

[ssyndrome.livejournal.com]

You know, I relate to this too. Your sentences, "i like the thought of sex. i want to like sex. but i just don't seem to care when it gets down to it." are very true to me. Recently I was going crazy, thinking, "What the hell - am I asexual? What is wrong with me?" On the one hand (Hehe!) i enjoy masturbation, and would like to think that I would enjoy sex, but on the other hand, I just don't. I don't know if it's fear or what. I am certainly attracted to people quite a bit, but the attraction never lasts. It basically lasts long enough until I get the other person interested, and then I lose all of my own interest. I'm not sure why my sex drive is so low; I'm 21 years old and healthy. I am on birth control though, for acne purposes, and have been on the pill since September of 04. I don't date and I wouldn't immediately say I have low self esteem - I love my body but hate my face. I think that I have fear of intimacy. Or not. I've only ever had sex twice, and it was with someone who I really loved, and that was back when I was 16. I haven't felt "love" since, and maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe I am just waiting until that "right" person comes along until I can do it again. But the truth is, I don't WANT to be that way!!! I don't even really feel "horny" anymore. It's so strange.

I'm sorry that my response has nothing to do with giving you advice, but, maybe you will take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. :)

[restlesspoetry.livejournal.com]

definately find a new doctor. i don't know if it's even LEGAL to suggest "finding jesus" as a help for depression. if it is - well, that's just fucked up. it sounds like he doesn't get it, or he doesn't think it's serious. besides, jesus isn't something you just turn around and find like that t-shirt you lost in the bottom of your closet two years ago.

i DON'T agree with antidepressants being a short term answer to a long term problem. some of us are depressed our whole lives, and it's a mental response to a physical problem. of course therapy and all that is great, but sometimes that's just not enough. when it takes you a week to get in the shower and brushing your teeth is a chore as intimidating as climbing mount everest you can't focus on feeling better. pills aren't the answer for everybody, but i know they make the difference between me living and merely surviving. i did a lot of that surviving crap before i agreed to being put on meds, and it's just not for me.

that aside... yes, it's very possible the antidepressants causes your lack of sex drive. it's like one of the most common side effects. personally though, i'd rather take that than being off them and feeling so gross that i don't want my boyfriend to touch me. it's tricky to find a way around this kind of thing. tons and tons of touching and knowing it doesn't have to lead to sex might help. the whole now-i-have-to-go-through-with-it is an incredible turn off. an understanding partner helps a lot.

and also; we all have different sex drives. media portraits a lot of women as being ready anywhere for everything, and when i see it i'm just like "how do they have the energy?" i'm sorry, but sometimes life just takes over and sex doesn't feel important. it goes up and down, all the time, at least for me.

with that said - meds or no meds is a totally personal decision. you may find that you actually feel better on no antidepressants or a lower dose or whatever. i just know they save my life every day, but we're all different.

ahem. time to step of my soap box.

This might make you laugh

[beenlovinthis.livejournal.com]

I used to go to a psych for depression and i started hallucinating at one point and she told me that i was seeing evil because i helped too many people and evil wanted me gone.

On a side note, girls are naturally less sexually inclined (for the scientific facts). Furthermore, you should go to an ob/gyn. It's just healthy and won't be your nut job doctor. Plus, they're good for asking questions. I promise, not all doctors will tell you to find jesus.

And in regard to wanting sex - love does the best job of getting you horny. Now, i know that probably doesn't really help much, but it's the truth.

And on a totally unrelated point: why would you want to want sex? I'm just curious. I mean...sex is like nothing but a bad chance to catch some gross disease or get a baby. And if you don't want sex now...i don't see why you'd want to want sex. I'm just curious...it's not meant to be sarcastic or anything like that.