A question about tubals

[shadowfae.livejournal.com]

Are there women here who have had their tubes "tied" -- especially women under 30?

If so, did you have difficulty finding a doctor who would perform the operation for you? My sister just had it done last month, and I went with her. She's in her late 30s and didn't run into any obstacles, but I remember when she was in her mid 20s she couldn't find a doctor to agree to do the proceedure.

I just feel it's time. My boyfriend and I have talked about him having a vasectomy. He wants to do it, and it makes more sense since the proceedure is less invasive for men ... but I also know that he's terrified of andy kind of surgery, and I don't feel like waiting any longer.

Any imput on what I should expect or suggestions would be appreciated. [I also plan on posting this at childfree so I apologize in advance for those who may get this multiple times].

Comments

I am no longer under 30...

[razzle.livejournal.com]

...but I had a tubal when I was 23. I had it done at a private clinic, but I remember they were advertising tubals in the paper, that's how I found them. I had to have a little talk with the doctor to convince him I knew what I was doing, and he emphasized the fact that tubals should be considered irreversible. But I proved I wasn't going to change my mind. At the time my insurance even covered it - so after signing lots of paperwork, I had the procedure with no delay. I have never regretted it.

If you are certain that you never want to have children (with your boyfriend or anyone else), then you should have the tubal.

If your boyfriend is certain that he never wants to father children (with you or anyone else), then he should have the vasectomy.

This is an issue of personal choice and responsibility, and you two may stay together forever - or not. If there's ANY chance that your views on having children would be different if you were with a different partner, then don't have this surgery.

Re: I am no longer under 30...

[shadowfae.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your advice :)

He's definately sure that he doesn't want kids, and so am I. Women always have to bear the brunt of anything to do with sex and procreation ... it has always made more sense to me if a man would do it, since it's a less invasive proceedure. But ultimately, it is something that I want to do.

If, for some reason I were to ever change my mind and want kids, I still have no desire for the pregnancy process. Please note that this is in no way a slight against women who have decided to have their own children, we're all individuals and should do what's best for US, but I've always felt it would be selfish for me to go out of my way to create another life when there are so many children out there who are unwanted. I'm a teacher and I see it everyday. In that case, I would adopt.

Re: I am no longer under 30...

[razzle.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's exactly the way I felt! Good luck!