vaginapagina | Your routine/hygiene?

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hygiene

Your routine/hygiene?

Sorry I made another profile for this question:

So, I'm just curious if anyone out there is like me, extremely paranoid about their vagina smelling/looking/whatever to a partner and I'm wondering what/if you do anything special when youre sexually active when someone other than you is going to see it all the time?

I'm currently in a relationship and we havent gotten to that point soon, but I think we may soon. We may also move in together soon so then we would be together 24/7.

As of now I shave & epilate maybe once a month or less often... thats something Ill have to get used to doing all the time.

Also I'll admit sometimes I dont shower everyday so I'll start doing that...
Right now Im really worried if we're 'in the moment' and Im not freshly showered or something, so Im wondering whats your shower-limit for being with someone? As if, if you didnt shower that morning would you excuse yourself to do it? How many hours unshowered do you think you may start to smell? I'm worried I wont smell myself but my partner might, and I wont know.

Also does anyone know how if you wash your hair too often, it actually gets oilier quicker? (its true, your skin is trying to bring back what you washed off even though to you and others its unpleasant (oils, smell)) Could the same thing happen to your vagina? Usually I shower every 2-4 days. But when Im going to be with my partner Im thinking twice a day. Could that mess anything up? Or make me 'dirtier' quicker if Im constantly washing it?

Or does anyone use any feminine wipes? Any suggestions which ones? I'm thinking about buying something like this http://www.drugstore.com/puretouch-feminine-wipes-naturals-flushable-moist-wipes/qxp315929?catid=184078 and marking over the writing on the packets so its not obvious what it is and keeping it in my purse.. Does anyone use wipes like this and have a specific suggestion? I'll probably buy them online rather than in person.

I'm also thinking I may make sure I eat fruit daily... I heard pineapple is good for... the way you may smell/taste there. Anyone have any suggestions there? Is there anything you make sure you eat or make sure you avoid if you know youre going to be sexually active?

basically I think my routine will be, shower twice a day, use feminine wipes before doing anything, and eat fruit like pineapple everyday. Anyone want to share their routine or just things you started doing when you became active? Thanks!

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If my husband and I feel like having sex (and have the opportunity), we do. I've never stopped him because I wasn't clean enough. I bathe every 2-3 days if I'm not getting sweaty during the day.

I've asked him to brush his teeth, but never to wash his genitals in over five years of sex. Are you expecting your partner to do this stuff? Two showers a day plus feminine/masculine wipes?

An adult human usually does have a particular smell. That's okay! You shouldn't have to smell like roses to have sex. Sex doesn't smell like roses. Reasonably clean is fine, but fresh out of the shower is unnecessary for most people.

My routine, for many years... At some point, I decided to start trimming the nether-fur -- partly to keep it from being in the way should spouse decide to head down that way, and partly because I was tired of cleaning the blood out. (I don't shower every day, either. Some people seem to have their periods stop when in the shower, but not meeeeeeeee! I don't really like dripping blood all over the bathroom floor.)

I would say, ask your partner what their preferences are. My spouse, after years of "whatever," eventually voiced the mild preference for minimal to no trimming! I may trim a bit closer when close to a period, to avoid that sticky mess, but eh, it's no big deal to me either way, and he likes it fluffy and soft. Ask your partner if they're sensitive to how freshly showered you are. (Remember that if they're heading down to give you oral, it is fine to have them start with a damp, warm washcloth -- it's a vulvar massage, too!)

I wouldn't use anything that's got a perfume in it, or a soap. Not only does it risk unbalancing your vaginal flora and sparking yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis, but the chemicals of a perfume may taste bitter! Plain water and a paper towel would probably be quicker and less risky, and cheaper!

I would not take two showers a day unless your partner has neurological issues that you are trying to be respectful of. There are people who are extremely sensitive to odors, and it's only kind to be respectful of that, but the vast majority of people who are attracted to vaginas like how a healthy, well-hydrated vagina smells and tastes. They don't want perfume, they don't expect roses, and if they're going to put their mouths down there, they want to taste vagina, not something that's been so washed that it tastes like "elbow" or chemicals or soap.

Heck, my spouse has headed down there at times when, er, I'd kind've liked to've done a paper-towel-and-water wipe, and he's not had any issues! (Mind, I've headed down on him times when he's been a bit whiffier, but hand-playing with things till they air out has always worked for me. I like the anatomy in question, quite enough to put up with minor lack of "freshness"; if I wanted to suck on a sterile Ken doll, I'd buy one at the toy store.)

For ways to alter your taste? Dehydration can intensify the natural odor, and some foods can create a bitter taste. Pineapple is one of the "tasty" fruits, and cinnamon cereal can be noticed! Smoking can create a taste that non-smokers may find off-putting. Asparagus is reputedly prone to making one's taste more bitter.

So... Don't stress out. Ask your partner if she/he/zie/they has any preferences. Remember that if your skin or vagina get stressed out trying to meet any preferences, you get to say, "This is too much trouble. We need a compromise." It is, after all, your body, and your partner should be respectful of that!

Wow this should be interesting to read comments but I bathe twice a day. Once in the morning and before bed, I personally couldn't imagine going to bed unshowered.
The thought of sleeping on dead skin cells in my bed grosses me out. :/

But I've never done anything special before sex unless we are planning to do oral then we shower together before. Your vagina self cleans itself so no need to cover it up with feminine wipes.

Thanks, I know maybe I am too sensitive. I understand I shouldnt care so much, and Ill try to be more open, but I am hoping i get some kind of specific advice here about best wipes, or things to eat too etc.

I have once mentioned to my BF I would like if he showered more... sometimes I think it'll be up to 3 days and because hes going to need a shower anyway I think he wants to get intimate so he has more reason to shower...

which slightly frustrates me that he's not being considerate of me. I think his thought process is "I need a shower today. I should get frisky to get it done with, then I can shower!" Rather than how I feel-- I want to be freshly showered and smell nice BEFORE.

I havent been mean about it but it did bother me. Plus I feel like theres more a stigma for people with vaginas... ive heard male friends joke about women smelling there, or jokes on tv/movies about the fish smell and stuff. You never really hear that joke the other way around. So I just dont want my boyfriend to find anything unpleasant about me. We're sexual with it comes to him, but I have not been comfortable enough to do anything with my body, so we're waiting and I just want it to be worth the wait for him lol.

Thanks so much for the large reply! I feel a little better about my showering then. I feel like most people I talk to, and on tv/movies it seems like most people shower in the morning and evening, everyday..

But I never did (I do put on deodorant before going to bed though) And if its a long weekend and Im not seeing anyone other than my parents it can be as bad as 4 days without a shower. So I thought it would be hard to switch to a twice a day routine. But if not everyone does it, maybe I dont need to stress about that so much.. (although it wont be as long as 4 days if Im with my partner though heh)

My partner has said he prefers clean shaven, but I think hair removal is a completely different subject and I wanted to focus on hygiene advice first. I may research laser hair removal and see how much theyre able to do down there. One day though, not anytime soon.

Do you think any kind of wipe would be safe to use? Unperfumed ones then? Or do you think repeated use of any wipe could mess you up, and its better to just shower and leave it be for 1-2 days whenever you shower next?

If my husband and I are in the mood and I feel like I'm not "tidy" enough down there, then I'll suggest a "sexy shower". Which usually means fooling around in the shower and then "finishing" things off elsewhere. Same goes for him if I feel like he should have showered sooner lol!

Honestly I feel like two showers + wipes would be over kill for your vagina/vulva (someone please correct me if I'm wrong). Not only that but the stress of having to be super clean all the time could possibly get on your nerves and stress you out.

If you feel comfortable with your current routine of hair removal, by all means stay that way. It's ultimately up to you if you have hair or not. I trim when I feel like it and my husband doesn't complain either way.

Good question :)

I'm self-conscious about my vag as well before sex. I usually shower once everyday anyway, but I've usually always showered before sex. I've only not showered once before sex and I still enjoyed it, but I wouldn't let him go down on me, even though he did and actually got in there, and I let him, but kept waiting for him to look up and scrunch his nose...haha....but he never did...which makes me question his hygiene...haha...but I still stopped him cause I was too self-conscious to let him continue. So I shower, that way I can enjoy all the wonders of sex without worrying. I just use soap down there and rinse really well cause you don't want any residue left over, it might get itchy or whatever.

Also I will not go down on someone who hasn't showered, but I will do everything else. But taht's just me.

From what I've heard and read....most guys don't seem to care much about smells and stuff. I think like anything else we just get self-conscious about our own body, but other people are obvlivious to it.

Maybe instead of showering everyday, if you're feeling self-conscious, you can just use go into the washroom and run a baby wipe through it real quick?

I don't think overwashing your vag can make it get dirtier quicker, unless by overwashing you're drying it out, which can attract make it irritable? I'm just thinking of when my hands get dry, they get kind of itchy and that goes for other parts of my body as well, but my vag seems to be okay with one wash a day.

this!

I shower about 5-6 days a week, and occasionally in the evening when my last shower was the previous morning. No matter when I've showered I will have sex if we want to, I certainly never excuse myself to go wash up. If I haven't showered in a bit the only thing different is we probably won't do anything anal.

I wash the area where my thighs meet my crotch with soap, but not my actual vulva (that doesn't need soap). I rinse the whole area well with water, getting in the folds (but not the actual vagina). I don't use any feminine wipes.

I know this might sound weird, but most people who enjoy sex with female-bodied people LIKE how vaginas smell. If I'm really wet and turned on I'm certainly not going to go wipe that off in the bathroom, the only response I've gotten is "oh baby aren't YOU turned on!!" Vaginas emit liquids and smells when aroused, and people who like aroused vaginas tend to enjoy that.

As for shaving, I shave my pubic hair into a triangle once a week tops in the winter, maybe twice a week in the summer, certainly not daily! Gosh, that would cause a lot of irritation. I trim the triangle every three months maybe. This doesn't change whether not I'm in a relationship. Sometimes I go a couple weeks in the winter without shaving.

I've been active for years and don't change for my partner. I figure, if they don't like the look or smell of my vagina they shouldn't be having sex with me.

Thanks, you sound like me! I think even if I accept it and think "well we're in the mood and he loves me.. I dont need to be 100% freshly showered.." That I will STILL feel uncomfortable and not be able to enjoy it enough by being worried.

See, I feel like Ive experienced the opposite about guys and smell. I have some guy friends and more than once I remember jokes about a woman's area being smelly or someone mocking an old gf's vagina... and I just hear it more in media.. its a "joke" that woman smell fishy but you never hear anything about penises smelling. So thats just why Im paranoid. My boyfriend hasnt been with too many girls either so I dont want him to be disappointed/surprised/weirded out by any smell.

I was going to buy specific feminine hygiene wipes like from the Vagisil company but reading this community a lot of people use baby wipes so maybe Ill just buy those.

Thanks! I guess I may nix the wipes idea a lot of people seem to say that they dont use them.

part of my paranoia may come from the fact that I think more than once Ive heard a negative comment from my boyfriend about vaginas. I cant remember the specifics, but I know it was something like, vaginas are weird/ugly (but he added in theyre fun) or something. So I worry about myself. Of course he may have said those things so i wouldnt worry about his expectations.. so who knows. I know he's definitely not gay, i just worry he might be still in the young male stage of a vagina thats too smelly/messy/whatever is 'icky' or whatever lol because he hasnt been with too many woman. Just mostly porn and all that.

I change nothing, sexually active or no :P

If it was such a problem, you could always shower together. And your vagina self cleans, there's really no neccessity of any special soaps or washes.

Honestly if that's his view, that vaginas are "weird/ugly," that's his problem, and has nothing to do with you and you shouldn't have to change at all. IMO, that would just feed his idea that vaginas are "icky."

I must say I find it rather excessively rude that he would talk so disparagingly about your body (even if it is in a general "they're all that way" manner), especially in front of you, and I think that would warrant a serious discussion.

Making fun of someone's genital odor is pretty tactless and rude, so don't base your opinions on awful comments like that. Penises most certainly can smell, but it's easier to portray vaginas as smelling bad since the general patriarchal culture deems them less than.

:) Yeah, I can totally relate to your concern.

Although I probably should have mentioned that my worries about a guy going down on me don't really have to do with my vag smell (like other posters I believe that most guys do appreciate the smells and other wonders that go on in our lovely vages), it's more to do with my butt area, but again from what i've heard, as in talking to girlfriends...guys don't really care, even when they vocally say, "hey here's what's been going on with my vag, you may not want to venture down there this time around" they've still gotten positive responses...as in the guy couldn't care less.

Now this could be that they're so turned on or in the moment that they just go for it anyway, I know I've done this when a guy's penis isn't smelling great, but never had one yet that was so bad I couldn't bear to go near it, so I just continue. But even if that is the case, i don't think they would ever tell you, because then they wouldn't get to have sex....haha....so why worry about it?

I think archangel has it right, maybe change some of your routine, but don't get to the point where you're so stressed your not having fun anymore. because nobody's perfect. I'm sure your bf won't smell great all the time either. but that's where the love part kicks in :)

I've never used feminie hygiene wipes so I can't really tell advise you there, but baby wipes are gentle, cheap and quick, also like another poster said, bf can help you with the cleaning in the form of a vag massage :)

Have fun!

I shower somewhere between once per day and once every other day. Maybe more often if I've done something particularly shower-worthy (shaving the dog** comes to mind), maybe less often if I don't find a compelling reason to shower on Day 3. (Usually I do, just given how frequently I exercise and how much I sweat while doing so.) I've never had a partner suggest that I smell, at least not in a way that's a turn-off for sex.

I trim my hair -- leg and pubic -- about once a month or less often. I shave my underarms about once every 1-2 weeks, though I consider that something I do more to avoid public stares at work than because my partner has a preference for it. (He is fine with fuzzy.)

No feminine wipes for me. I'm not sure if it's fragrance or another ingredient in them, but they make my vulva itch and dry it out -- which in turn makes sex uncomfortable (and therefore a non-starter) for me.

I do eat a lot of fruit and drink a lot of water to keep myself hydrated, but that's more for my own general health (especially the hydration) and less for sexycrotchsmells. It can't really hurt, though, so if you're interested in modifying diet to change vulvovaginal smell, I'd very much suggest adding a good amount of water (in terms of drinking it) into the equation.

** That is not a euphemism. I really do mean shaving the dog, who grows hair like a tiny gray sheep.

I must say I find it rather excessively rude that he would talk so disparagingly about your body (even if it is in a general "they're all that way" manner), especially in front of you, and I think that would warrant a serious discussion.

Ia. Maybe I'm super sensitive, but hearing something like that would probably result in me being very, very hurt and possibly crying.

I'm a bit tired and braindead from trying to analyze and make sense of Marx, but I just wanted to jump in really quick.

I'm one of those people who doesn't shower at every second. In fact, I just came from the gym a couple of hours ago and only now am going to shower, because honestly, I don't smell bad. The frequency of showering isn't a set one, it's dependent on your own body chemistry.

My mom, for example bathes fairly infrequently, and I've never smelled B.O. on her. She does have to wash her her more frequently, because it get greasy, but other than that, I wouldn't ever know if she hasn't showered. My bf on the other hand gets really sweaty after exercise, so if he's been on a workout binge a couple of showers a day is good. If not, I really don't care.

Same with how my girly bits taste/smell. He's never asked me to shower and scrub before going down on me. In fact, like archangelbeth, he dove right in there at times when I would've rather freshened up first. About the most he's ever asked of me was to wash up a bit after going to pee right before sexytimes, which is totally understandable.

I guess the tl;dr is that it's a matter of preference, and not something to worry over. When you like/love someone you tend to love the way they taste and smell, and you probably don't expect roses and perfume all the time. TV/moves are such an unreliable source of information about such things, it's like expecting to get your medical information from Dr. House. (It's Lupus. It's always Lupus.

Hope that made sense!

I think that's normal, I'd respond similarly. If I had been in a relationship with someone for quite awhile I would respond with sadness and crying, but if it was a new relationship I'd probably just angry.

Yeah I'm really surprised by the comments thus far. I bathe every day (at night, I like going to bed with just cleaned feeling too, and also because I sweat during the day and don't want to dry out my skin too much with 2 showers) unless I'm sick/don't feel well enough to make it to the shower.

I don't know if I'm a really careless partner or something but I genuinely, honestly...don't change anything. I shower (including shavings my underarms and legs) about four to six times a week. Aside from that, I just maintain what I would consider "usual" hygine...teeth brushed twice a day, deodorant once a day (although I know of many people who don't use deodorant and have never noticed/cared), clean clothes, etc. I don't really even feel the need to immediately get showered after working out or something...but I definitely do after cleaning a lot or doing something that involves more "gross" work. My fiance has never found my scent off-putting, even if I haven't showered in a day or so.

In regards to vaginal hygine specifically--I used to shave, but now I don't. I keep the hair at about half an inch long because both me and my fiance prefer soft and fluffy to pokey stubbley since my skin is too sensitive to shave regularly. There are points in my cycle where my natural odor is stronger than other times and I am admittedly slightly more self conscious because of it but those times are very predicatably right before and right after my period. I certainly prefer to shower before sex just because I find it more enjoyable to roll around freshly cleaned and warm and stuff but lack of showering has rarely put a stop to us having sex (the exception being when one of us has done particularly gross work that day and are genuinely dirty).

My fiance does pretty intensive manual labor though and I won't give him oral sex if he has worked heavily all day and hasn't showered yet. It's just a personal preference that has never negatively impacted our sex life. I don't like receiving oral sex on a physical-sensation level so it's not like I'm expecting he constantly be up for performing oral sex on me. Our hygine expecatations of each other are pretty equal. The only thing that I am particularly strict/self conscious about is breath and oral hygine. Freshly woken up sex is out for us because I literally can't stomach morning breath.

It's totally okay if you feel the need to go above and beyond and do these extra things for your own sake or, like Beth said, if your partner has neurological issues that require extra consideration. However, if you're only feeling the urge to do these things because it's what you think is expected of you or that it's what "everyone" does, that is totally not the case and you are free to manage your personal hygine however makes you feel comfortable and secure in your body.

This. This so much.

If it makes you feel better, I don't think I know anyone who showers twice a day. Even when I've lived in hot climates where everybody gets horribly sticky, I would consider twice a day unusual except for the occasional fancy dinner where people wanted to be extra shiny. It's generally unnecessary and I think anybody with realistic expectations of sex is aware that bodies smell and taste like bodies.

Reading the other comments, it seems like either you or your boyfriend expect your body to be like a movie where everything's rosy and amazing all of the time. That's not how bodies are and I imagine once you're familiar with your boyfriend's body you'll realise his isn't either :p

In terms of my 'routine', I have occasionally popped to the bathroom if we've been walking/dancing/had sex already to give things a go over with the shower head. I don't use any soaps or wipes on my vagina, just plain clean water in the shower. However when my boyfriend and I first slept together we had been walking a long while on a hot day and were both very sweaty and un-showered. Didn't put either of us off enough to run away and never return!

In terms of your pubic hair, do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Maintaining a completely shaved look is a lot of work and potential discomfort. If that's something that makes you feel good, then great! However, if it would be an effort purely to please your boyfriend, then do whatever you feel better with. If he mentions it, explain in great detail how much hard work/discomfort goes into those clean-shaven vulvae he sees in porn movies.

Your body isn't oozing foul smells or shameful dirt or anything like that, no more than anybody else (including your boyfriend!). I find that people who disparage female genitalia are the one's who want access but can't get any, or who are horribly sexist and undeserving of the privilege.

Try talking to your boyfriend about his attitude and comments, I'm sure he'll be horrified that he's made you self conscious about one of your body parts and the sexual element of your relationship.

Sorry about the novel I just wrote up there, I hope some part of it is helpful :)

I usually try to aim for sexy-times when we're relatively clean, but honestly neither me or my partner have bothered much. If we're going to have PIV sex, as long as we can take our pants off without knocking the other out with odour we're good to go. However, if there's some oral involved one or both of us will just nip off to the bathroom for a quick rinse - not a full shower, just some water on a washcloth to get rid of any grime. Water is all genitals really need.
Once every other day is fine for general hygeine, and unless you think you're smelling particularly whiffy I wouldn't increase that for sexytimes.
I'd stay far, far away from feminine wipes - trust me when I say that water and a washcloth is all you need. If you're really worried, nip off, wipe down, away you go! (and I'd hazard a guess that yes, soap isn't healthy for your vulva - As soon as I stopped using soap for my labia, I noticed a marked decrease in smell! Sometimes I'll soap up my pubic hair, but otherwise I'm far healthier and cleaner with just water, because my vulva isn't irritated into secreting more.)

Other than that, I'd simply stay well-hydrated and remember that Vagina smells best when it's Vagina. Chemical smelling Vagina isn't very fun for anyone.

I have never done anything special prior to sex, with anyone, to tell the truth. I always trim, and sometimes shave it completely bald, regardless of relationship status. I don't change my routine for anyone, but my own satisfaction. The only times I have is if maybe it had been a couple days since I managed to shower, and knew beforehand there would be sex involved, and showered before the guy/gal came over. But always showered in enough time beforehand to give my vulva and vagina a chance to balance itself, and get it's natural smell and taste back, but I never ever use soap on my vulva cause it burns and leaves me feeling extremely itchy. Outer labia, yes, vulva, nope.

To be honest, in the past I have been with ladies that went a day or two between showers, and did not notice any difference in smell or taste, it smelled and tasted like well..vagina, not like anything gross, or fishy. Everyone does have their own smell/taste, though, of course.

Coming from a woman that likes vulvas and vaginas, and prefers them penises, although I like both, I will completely and totally agree with what

archangelbeth stated. Most people that like vaginas, like how it tastes and smells, and that is completely true. The smell and taste of soap is a turn off when you are expecting a normal smell, does that make sense? Soap has a very very bitter taste!

I have had people perform oral sex on me at times when I would have preferred to wash up a bit before hand, and have only once had a complaint (and that's only cause he was being impatient and insisted I didn't need to wash up and my vulva was a bit sweaty due to extremely hot summer) and that's coming from a lady that goes every other day to take a shower.

If you are worried about if your smell is normal, or off, or anything prior to any possible sexual interaction--a musky smell is completely normal, but can vary a tiny bit depending on person--and if you notice that your smell is different, by all means shower, but don't shower twice a day or more, unless you get sweaty and start to smell bad to yourself or a bit stronger than you would like, since you would probably know your smell pretty well. Also showering that often would lead to a soapy smell/taste, or possibly drying out your vulva, and could even make it smell bad (In my experience, at least, too much washing has lead to a sour smell)

As far as moist cleansing wipes, I wouldn't personally use them, but my vulva is extremely sensitive so even the sensitive wipes burn. If it came to a quick wash up I'd just use warm water and a soft washcloth, hand, or paper towel.

Hope the essay helps!

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