vaginapagina | Labor and delivery curiosity!

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Labor and delivery curiosity!

Okay, I have always been SO curious about the nitty gritty details of labor and delivery. I am fascinated by those shows that come on TLC sometimes depicting natural and home births. I don't ever plan on having children but I just simply must know:

1. Is it really as bad as it is in the movies? Do people really scream/go crazy from the pain? Can you compare contractions to menstrual cramps to give me an idea of how much worse they are?

2. This is the big one... do a lot of women tear? How does THAT feel? Do they stitch you up or do you have to just let it heal or does it just simply depend?

3. After you give birth vaginally, is your vagina really never the same ever again? Is this only a physical, inside thing but also a visual, outside thing?

Please, don't spare me any details, I want it all no matter how questionable. It's either this or asking my boyfriend's sister who is pregnant for the second time and I'd rather not, haha. Thanks in advance!

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*points at the other replies*

*chirps brightly, "What they said!"*

My mom had four, and I'm pretty sure she said that only the last one produced vaginal tearing -- and this includes the next-to-last, who was ten pounds, eight ounces and had elbow presentation, as in wrapped-over-his-head. (That one, she swears that if she'd been doped to the gills as was tradition in the hospitals in that era and area, she'd not have been coherent enough to decide to live. The attending doctor did not like what her blood pressure was doing there for a while, though.)

But the last one, she said the contractions were so hard and fast that she didn't have a long, drawn-out pushing, so... tearing.

Pregnancy kind of makes you lose all modesty,

*nods sagely* My modesty went out the window around the time they got the epidural in. (Good things for pre-eclampsia, apparently; they lower blood pressure, and since mine was sky-high...) If I couldn't feel it -- and it was the weirdest thing, prodding my stomach and having it be totally numb! -- then it wasn't there and I didn't have to worry about being naked from the waist down to the ankles. (I was wearing my least-favorite pair of socks, and they left those on. My toes were also all tingly "asleep" feeling and I could wiggle my ankles. But from diaphragm to ankles? Wasn't there! Not my problem!)

I... don't know if I had any defecation issues during the c-section. (Couldn't feel it; not my problem!) All the jostling around of my innards did make me throw up, though, which got me the whole "you have to trust that your body knows what it's doing" thing, since I had no conscious control over my stomach muscles. Surreal, spiritual vomiting.

*beth nods sagely again*

My mother had a VBAC for my brother, then my sister after me, then had to have another emergency c/s with my baby brother because of diabetes and pre-eclampsia, if I do recall. I'm always glad when women get to have the VBAC they want. :)

I forgot to mention - I was the biggest of my siblings - my sister was 10lbs, 3oz, my brother was 9 lbs 8 oz, and my baby brother was 9 lbs 3 oz... and he was premature! :(

the difference between the two is like the difference between stubbing your toe and having it slowly burned off with acid

hahahaha I have to laugh because it is SO true... There is no comparison, bad period cramps are a 1 on the scale and labour pains are more like, a 10.

I ended up having an emergency C-section so I can't really speak about that aspect of the birth but I had a full unmedicated labour up until that point, I actually made it to the full ten centimeters (of cervical dialation) before they decided to go through with the C-section due to fetal distress (her head was in a bad position and also the cord was wrapped around her neck). I think might have been possible to correct this but at that point it was safer to do the C-section.

I wanted a home birth so I didn't have any pain medication AT ALL. I was transferred to the hospital after being stuck in transition (the worst part of labour itself) for a few hours, the midwives were amazing throughout the whole thing and I really loved having them there to speak up for me at the hospital. They gave me the epidural literally five minutes before they cut me open to take her out, before that it was allll natural. To be honest the pain was excrutiating. But it may have been worse because my baby's head wasn't putting the right pressure on the cervix and while I felt lots of pain it wasn't doing much. The part that hurt the most was when I wasn't allowed to push and yet my body was still pushing of it's own accord. If you have to push and it's safe (no fetal distress), PUSH. It hurts less than trying to stop your body from doing so, truly.

It's like when someone punches you in the arm, the first time it hurts, but if they keep punching you over and over in the same spot eventually the pain is incomparable to the first punch. I was in labour for 21 hours or so. I cried, I moaned, there were no screams, but the moans were a touch on the hysterical side after the first 15 hours or so. I had to turn my head and shove it into a pillow with every contraction to stifle the volume near the end.

I have to say that I would do it all over again and I still would not choose to use the pain meds! I found it almost as an exhilarating challenge, like climbing mount everest. It might be HARD but it was still very empowering to go through it. In fact I CAN'T WAIT to do it again.

So there you have it, maybe labour does make you a little crazy, haha.

I've been wondering, though: does using a midwife mean that you don't go to your normal OBGYN and get ultrasounds and all of that? Do you not get ultrasounds at all? I'm only just starting to learn about the process.

Depends on the state. Here in WA, our midwives can prescribe ultrasounds and all the typical testing (if you want it -- and I got more informed consent from my midwives than I ever had from another doctor). You do not see an OB/GYN unless something comes up out of the realm of normal, then you consult (and perhaps transfer, if needed). Midwives only deal with normal birth, so if complications beyond a certain point arise, they refer you on to the surgeon/specialist.

In some states, though, midwives are illegal or alegal and so cannot prescribe. Some have docs they work with under the table but many don't. In some states only CNMs can legally practice and they generally (though not always) work only in hospitals, so you'd still have a hospital birth, but they can prescribe as well.

I'm normally really healthy, fit person, the ONLY thing that ever flattens me is my period. It's 2-3 days every three weeks when I can't work, can't think, can't walk, can't do anything but scream/moan, question my existence,try to stay in the hottest of baths and take as much codeine and paracetamol as I legally can. (Have tried a number of things suggested in this community and elsewhere - haven't got endo, have a bad reaction to the synthetic hormones in the pill, no joy from homeopathic approaches/wheatfree diet etc.)

Anyway... now I'm 33 weeks pregnant and hoping for a homebirth and if the pain is that much worse than my period pain I honestly don't know how I will get through it. Any pain, and I do mean ANY kind of pain that is different or lesser than that I know can handle.

Holy smokes! That sounds awful! My idea of bad period cramps are a minor irritation at worst. Your description of period pains sound like my labour pains. The optimist in me hopes that there must be a cap on how bad pain can get... isn't there? D:

IMO, I'd say go ahead and give the homebirth a shot anyway, if it's something that you want! Especially if you live within a relatively close distance to a hospital and you have midwives attending. I"d let her know about the pain issue though, she may have some insights as to how things will go... First labours are generally so long that if you find the pain too much to bear then you have plenty of time to go and get all nice and drugged up. Epidurals often make it so that you can't even feel much of anything at all. Plus you may find the pain more bearable because labour has such a big reward at the end... While periods are all pain and no reward.

Whatever happens, good luck, and congrats!

I had my second child at home. My first was a c-section.

1. No, movies make it look HORRIBLE. It is actually a very spiritual, slow going process (usually). Contractions hurt.....how much worse that cramps? I guess it depends on your cramps. I have had UTI's that were worse, pain wise. And my sciatica is WAY more painful than childbirth. Hands down.

2. I tore. Pretty bad. I didn't even feel it. I didn't know I tore. What sucked more was being stitched up after. I had no pain meds at all for birth, but had lidocaine (I think) injected around the tear for repairs. That hurt more, I think. I had another issue- my tear repair got infected and opened AGAIN. I chose not to repair it. It is my battle scar.

3. Even with my tear, and it being a bit more "gaping" at the opening, my husband & I feel no internal difference during sex. We can't go all crazy and rough, but I never liked that anyway. No visual difference unless you REALLY get up in there and look for it. If I didn't tear I don't think you'd see anything different.

Actually, if you have a midwife in attendance they can/will stitch you up whether you give birth at home or in hospital if you tear badly enough to require it, and will bring a local anasthetic in case you require it. xx

Well, I went into labour on my due date, though the cramping was so mild it took me ages to realize it was the 'real thing'. I had mild cramps for five hours before I finally figured it out and decided to ring the midwife, who suggested taking a couple of paracetamol and going back to bed. I did (just regular strength, that would never ever help me for period pains) but then rang her back saying, umm... you should probably come by anyway because it's been going on for some time... she came over an hour later, promptly told me I sounded too 'comfortable' on all fours and needed to squat, made me move and 15 minutes later my daughter was born!

The pain never got as bad as my period cramps, it was a bit of a burning pain once I started squatting (when I reached down to touch her head as it crowned that was very much an ouch - fire! sensation) but never anywhere near so bad I felt I wanted/missed/needed any additional pain relief.

Anyway, to answer the original questions, in case anyone is going back through old posts (like I am):

1. Is it really as bad as it is in the movies? Do people really scream/go crazy from the pain? Can you compare contractions to menstrual cramps to give me an idea of how much worse they are?

For me: Not so bad as the movies. Yes, with the yelling, the girls in the flat above rang the landlord to raise some concerns re domestic abuse - luckily our landlord knew we were planning a home birth around Xmas. And contractions - much, much milder and less constant, and not in the same place (my period pains are on the sides of my body quite high up, the contractions were further down and a bit more 'together' in the middle - all your innards get moved around when you're pregnant I suppose), even when they were close together near the end there were breaks during which I could breathe and think.

2. This is the big one... do a lot of women tear? How does THAT feel? Do they stitch you up or do you have to just let it heal or does it just simply depend?

I did not tear so I can't say how it feels. I can say that mere bruising between the legs is worse than any rough sex I've ever had, and I had to sit down very, veeeery slowly, one butt cheek at a time, for the first week afterwards.

I do work in a physiotherapy department which includes obs and gynae physio - a lot of women do tear, and do so to different 'degrees', you can tear a little, or all the way from your vagina to your anus, or a little further into your anus. So they will stitch if it is a very big tear, if you give them permission to (you could chose to let it heal naturally, like any large wound, though perhaps not recommended). They should give you some follow up to make sure things are healed and your pelvic floor activity hasn't been compromised - if it has there are, as mentioned by others in above replies, things you can do about it.

3. After you give birth vaginally, is your vagina really never the same ever again? Is this only a physical, inside thing but also a visual, outside thing?

My vagina looked different from the outside for about a month afterwards (huge, gaping hole, very dark red skin not from the lochia itself). It feels different to the touch even now, it has rough spots where it didn't before, inside and out. Sex feels much more sore, but I'm only nine weeks post partum now so can't say how long this will last!

Something you didn't ask about but I will mention as I'd developed expectations about - the cramping and bleeding after giving birth was _nothing_ like a period, which is what it gets compared to in a lot of the literature I'd read. The bleeding was heavy, light, stopped for two weeks, then heavy for another week and a half, clumpy, black, red, brown, yellow, very, very random. And the cramping - OMFG it was worse than contractions, worse than period pains ever were! Breastfeeding exacerbated the cramping for the first four days afterwards and I cried quite a few times because it hurt so, so much and due to, well, the breastfeeding, you can't really curl up or massage your stomach or take strong painkillers or anything! And I had no idea how long it was going to be so bad so I couldn't even tell myself the end was in sight.

All over now though and feeding, although messy, is no longer agony! Yay for babies!

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