http://numbersnletters.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] numbersnletters.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] vaginapagina 2006-11-25 11:57 pm (UTC)

Jeez, you're using some pretty harsh language on yourself. Having consensual sex with someone you love and care about doesn't make you "a slut" -- I personally don't ever even use that word, I think it's damaging to think of women (i.e yourself) in such crude terms. Anyway, a good doctor certainly isn't going to think badly of you for coming to them for health care. If any doctor ever does, find another doctor!

Personally, I think that if you can't talk to your partner about sex, you need to put "being able to talk about sex with your partner" ahead of "being able to have sex with your partner". It sounds like you feel like the responsibility for his erection is completely in your lap, so to speak. You two need to be able to communicate openly about what's working and what isn't. You especially need to be able to communicate about health and safety risk concerns. You're not trapped, you know? You say you are in love with him... but you sound concerned about catching an STI from him. Do you trust him? Do you feel that he loves and respects you? You don't have to answer, it's just stuff you might want to think about.

There ARE people who have gone to school for many years, learning how to help people in your situation. They specialize in facilitating communication between partners, on the topic of sex. They're called sex therapists. You keep your clothes on, it's all about finding your voice and speaking honestly with your partner. Maybe you can look on your insurance provider's website, or ask them to send you the book with a list of providers. Good luck and, woman, love your body!

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