I've asked this same question to VPers before and they've always been extremely caring and helpful.

Another community you should check out is called _survivors_ which is for people who have survived any form of abuse. Everyione there is amzaingly supportive. I've asked them about the sex issue too. I've even gone to sextips for advice. BUt everyone has different fears and tiggers. SO the advice they gave me may not be the best advice for you.

However there is advice that goes across the board, survivor or not. Communicate you wants, needs and desires. Be safe. And be assertive. Its always ok to say 'No' to someone that you care about about if you feel uncomfortable. Go slow, and take your time.

But I just recently found out that once you find the right person it will click in a way that feels like second nature. Right now I am in a healthy relationship with someone that listens and goes at the pace I've set. And for the first time I have no fears when it comes to intimacy You will find the person that makes you feel like that in time. But not with out some hurdles.

Also please look in getting counseling. Lots of places offer free group therapy for abuse survivors, you just have to put some feelers out there.

Good luck and take care!