vaginapagina | painful sex and orgasms

Hey everyone. I have three random questions which (I think/hope) are pretty unrelated.

The first is about orgasms, in response to the multiple orgasm post below. Forget multiple orgams; are there women who simply can't orgasm from intercourse? It took my current boyfriend 3 months of trying, but (unlike those before him) he succeeded orally and we haven't had much of a problem with that since. Vaginal, on the other hand, usually feels nice, but I've never felt orgasmy, if that makes since. Are there a lot of women like that?

Question number two... anal... any ways to make it less uncomfortable?

And question number three... sex has always been pretty painful for me. Mostly sort of a stinging kind of pain; we have to stop somewhat often, and the only way to make it stop hurting is usually to take a bath (the hot water seems to help a lot). I've gotten it checked out, but haven't gotten any good answers. It's not BV, 90% chance it's not endometriosis, etc. Could it just be that my boyfriend's a bit, well, large? Any other ideas?

Thanks in advance for your help!

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Just about number 3 - where is the stinging pain, exactly? Does it hurt all around the vaginal entrance, or just inside the vagina (both of which could be due to friction, insufficient lube) or just in specific areas (eg at the back, where the perineum meets the back vaginal wall)? Afterwards, does it feel like you're torn - if so, where?

It seems to hurt mostly around the vaginal entrance, depending. Sometimes it hurts at the back. Somewhere in the course of investigating all this (I gave it a year and then said I wanted it to STOP), they did an ultrasound with the scary vaginal thing, and every time they hit the back left part I just about screamed. They did a biopsy (which I REALLY don't recommend, as OW) and found some HPV-like cells, which doesn't really make sense because I can't think of anyone I could have gotten it from, so they totally dismissed the stuff inside. It mostly feels torn outside, to the point where I can't lie down (have to sit down touching a cool sheet, which helps some) and it occasionally bleeds some. My vagina doesn't work :(

Your reply to another comment made me wonder if too much sex might be the issue - once a day seems pretty frequent to me. But your answer here makes me think that it's a medical problem, and it could be one of the two problems I have...

1) vestibulodynia AKA provoked vulvodynia AKA vulvar vestibulitis (it's damn frustrating when the doctors keep changing the diagnosis! I use VVS for short). It means that little bundles of nerve endings, in particular spots around the vaginal entrance, are incredibly oversensitive. The nerve endings perceive normal touch as awful pain.

What you said about the left back area sounds familiar - but for me, the pain is equal on either side of the back (imagine the face of a clock, with the clit as 12 and anus as 6: the pain is at 5 and 7). For some women with VVS, it hurts all the time; for some, it hurts when sitting for long periods, during their period, and wearing tight pants; and for others (like me) it just makes sex painful or impossible.

2) it's also possible - maybe - that you have a 'skin bridge' across the back of your vaginal entrance. This wouldn't be your hymen, but an extra lip of skin stretching from your perineum and slightly overhanging the entrance (man, that's hard to explain). It could be splitting during penetration, and not having enough time to heal before the next time. If you look in the mirror, with a flashlight, can you see little splits or tears in the middle of the perineum / back of vaginal wall?

Hmmm. I think I'll just suck it up (no pun intended) if the pain's from too much sex :) I have a gyn appt soon, so I'll ask about VVS. It only hurt when it was touched, but at the same time, it might have just been sore from repeated thrusting at that angle. I looked with a mirror and didn't see anything odd, but I'll try again with a flashlight. Thanks for the advice :)

painful sex and orgasms

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