there's no right way to feel right now. however you feel... that's how you feel. when i was diagnosed with a chronic pain disorder by a specialist, i went into a huge depression because i felt like i was condemned to live my life in terrible pain. i knew that it got so bad that people killed themselves. i didn't want to go to a support group, i didn't want to talk about it. i wanted it to go away.

i'm better now that i have been in years. it wasn't the end of the universe, it was more of a door down a different hall. i've still never relied on a support group. i found them to be whine and bitch sessions and i didn't come out of them feeling like i would ever get any better. i stayed clear.

if i have any advice for you, it's that you take the bare minimum of the "bad news" from everything you hear and read. give yourself a limit on how long you spend looking at worst case scenarios. educate yourself about your illness as completely as you can at the beginning and after that, try and stick to empowering and uplifting and helpful resources after that. simply turn off and avoid any doom and gloom machines you may meet, and that may include some of your friends. it makes all the difference in the world.

telling your present partner is going to be very hard, i know, but you are doing the right thing. it's really brave of you. i know there are people here who will be supportive of you. i hope you get some of the same in real life.