Hormones and depression and PCOS

[lupitaloba.livejournal.com]

Hello Superstars!

I am writing about something that is bothering me. I will be seeing my GP in a few weeks time, but I feel really overwhelmed today and would like to talk about what's going on and maybe someone else has had similar things going on who can help? Thanks in advance. :)

I'm 31 years old. I've had PCOS since adolescence but have only seriously begun treatment for it in the last year. I am not a parent and do not wish to conceive (sometimes that is relevant to PCOS discussions). Alongside PCOS I have Insulin Resistance Syndrome and long-term depression.

My treatment for depression is medication and therapy (med: Efexxor 150 daily).
My medication for Insulin Resistance is slow release metformin, which works to reduce my sensitivity to insulin (so it is a medication that alters hormone levels).
I have taken Yaz birth control for about 4 months. Yaz has a slight anti-androgen action in that it reduces male-type hormones in my body. 
I also have recently (in the last 2 weeks) started taking Spironolactone which is an anti-androgen which is meant to regulate and lower the levels of testosterone in my system and to help my skin be less sensitive to the effects of testosterone. (which aims to help me with my body hair and facial hair thickness).

My question about all this is: can hormonal changes affect emotions and self-confidence? Can my recent bouts of anxiety be related to fluctuations of hormones? I know Yaz is meant to raise my oestrogen levels; could it be that I'm just experiencing life as it is for countless other ovary-owning human beings? This is really preying on my mind - how much of the achievements in my life so far have been possible because I had a very little fluctuation in my hormone levels and produced an excess of androgens?

I really really don't want to come across as rude or ignorant, I hate the old fallacy thinking than penis-owning humans are more capable/rational/whatever than vagina-owning humans. I DO NOT want to perpetuate that type of thinking nor do I want to sound like I give it credence, I'm simply very confused and I don't know what is going on in my life. 

I do know that I used to feel this sort of turmoil as a teenager. As an adult woman I had a much better time of things but I wasn't ovulating and I honestly did not miss it. And now, when I'm taking this collection of hormone-altering medications, my life seems to be falling apart :/

My GP has organised for me to see a psychiatrist for therapy and medication alteration (if needed). I also feel that a lot of the emotional issues I had as a younger girl/teenager are coming to the foreground in a very visceral way, and that the control I thought I had over these feelings has abandoned me. 
I feel less capable of rationality and more under the sway of depression.

I would really like to hear from anyone who has undergone hormone therapy and felt any similar changes or challenges. Please please understand that I mean no offence when I say that I felt more stable with "higher androgen" levels than with higher oestrogen  it is just my way of comparing the two states of my life and trying to figure out WHAT IS GOING ON?

with all my heart and thanks,
VaginaPagina I love you xo

Comments

[burning-moon117.livejournal.com]

I think hormones can DEFINITELY affect your mood and emotions. I also have PCOS. When I am not on birth control, I feel anger, to nearly the point of violence, and I can be very aggressive and competitive. I assume this is due to high levels of testosterone. I also become very depressed to the point of cutting and suicidal ideation.

On birth control, I feel like a completely normal person, and my emotions are much more stable.

Sometimes changing birth control pills, or going on something like spironolactone, can make hormones fluctuate, and that would usually make me cry, a lot, and I am not someone who usually cries.

I hope this helps.

[burning-moon117.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I also feel that stress can cause hormones to fluctuate too.

[sweetchild92.livejournal.com]

Not much to add, but my psychiatrist did tell me the estrogen in combined HBC acted as a mood stabilizer for me (thus resulting in a not-so-expected-and-nice transition phase from combined HBC to Mirena).

And most definitely hormones can effect mood/emotions!

[lupitaloba.livejournal.com]

I'll be glad to start seeing my psychiatrist to discuss all the things :)

[lupitaloba.livejournal.com]

yes. I have a bit of academic stress right now, and feeling like I'm not as 'coping' is just adding to it.

[lupitaloba.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this! I have been crying a lot more latley, and as someone who hardly ever cried without hormone therapies it was a tad disconcerting.

I think I'm going to keep to the yaz for at least another 3 months, to see if I can settle into a comfort zone with it. And yeah, startig the Spiro is probably what is messing everything up.

[encircleme.livejournal.com]

hormonal changes absolutely can effect emotions and confidence. when my hypothyroid isn't treated i'm more depressed than i am when it is treated.

[lupitaloba.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that others are going through similar stuff, but I'm also really glad to not be alone. Thank you for helping me not feel alone :)

[encircleme.livejournal.com]

You're so sweet!

[kaberett.livejournal.com]

Another one on the "yep hormones can have an effect": progesterone (my own, raises caused by the Mirena, raises caused by Cerazette) make me horrifically and overwhelmingly depressed pretty much instantly.

It's important to remember that the way you feel on one particular hormonal cocktail really, really isn't the way that everyone will feel on the same combination. It's not useful or accurate to think "but everyone else has these levels! and is coping fine!" because... that's not how the world works, and more importantly it's not how your body works.

My inclination is always to put up with physical shit over the mental health nonsense (i.e. I will take mood stability over relief from my chronic pain, when I have a choice), but again, that is a call only you can make.

Good luck. <3

[lupitaloba.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU. It's a really important thing for me to hear that (personal experience not being held up to the collective experience). It really made me pull through a bad focus and start looking at things in a better way. so, thank you again!

Yes, I've lived with excess body hair and facial hair since my teens. I'm on spiro right now as a trial to see if it changes things at all. Problem is spiro can take MONTHS to show any effects. I'm also saving up for laser hair removal, and I've read that with PCOS it's better to have hormones under control before laser or else it is a waste of time and money. Thems the breaks :\

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

Yeah...I was depressed for like 3 years. Then I quit HBC and basically got better. Not 100%, but I feel like those three years were somewhat wasted.

It's kind of funny...we think we're smart, but our brains are really weird. Like, there are studies that show if you say something is the last one, we like it better. So if I give you a series of chocolates and ask you to rank them, if I say "ok, this is the last one!" you'll rank it higher. Versus if I just hand you the last one, and then tell you after you rank that we are finished. We are influenced by so many things that we have no idea about!

Hormones effects on our mental states are similar to the effects of anti depressants or other psychoactive drugs. It's all just the balance of transmitters and stuff, you know? It really can make a huge difference.

At the same time, as you think about your successes, I don't think you need to write them off. Should Michael Jordan feel bad because he wouldn't have been a good basketball player if he had a different body? My achievements and the work I am proud of have everything to do with my access to education. Should I not feel proud still? If I didn't have proper food, I wouldn't even be able to be a nice person. (I get really hangry.) I'm still glad that I am.

It does seem like a difficult question - how do we understand our successes when they are put in the context of being at least partly about luck. NO ONE got where they are simply because of skill or greatness of character. I promise you that. Are those aspects of success? Definitely. Do they account for it entirely? No way.

[dial-zero.livejournal.com]

I love you for saying "hangry." Adding that to my lexicon... :)

[lupitaloba.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your beautiful comment :)

I think it was really me being in a state of the sad's and not knowing where to turn for information. I'm really glad that I posted here. After some reflection and time I'm in a more stable mood/place about it all, and having some very grounded responses has certainly helped. Thank you!

[gunshotbeauty.livejournal.com]

hormones are probably what have THE biggest effect on my emotions. i have pcos as well and with pcos you have high chances of anxiety and depression and there is a strong link with having fluctuating emotions due to irregular hormones. my psychiatrist has been incredibly supportive of believing how bad my hormones can effect me and i'm in the midst of trying to find a birth control option that will basically stop my periods because i feel extremely stable when my hormones aren't all over the place. this year i've had some states of extreme distress due to hormones and very very very balanced due to my hormones behaving. i'm a bit tired but i'd be happy to answer any questions if you have any. in short hormones absolutely hormones influence moods and emotions and you are not alone AT all.

[lupitaloba.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm very grateful for your offer to answer questions. I remember your handle from somewhere - I think you possibly helped me with PCOS stuff in late 2011/early 2012? Someone helped me get in contact with the Jean Hailes clinic in victoria Australia, and it may have been yourself.

I have to admit I have been a bit worried about seeing a psychiatrist, but since a few responses here have mentioned the support they've received I'm feeling a lot more relaxed.
I'd also like to apologise for the late reply - there was a family medical emergency and I've been dealing with that. I do appreciate your offer to answer any questions, but the weird thing is that I haven't formulated any specific questions as yet (too busy, not able to think).

If over the next week I sort myself out to write to you , may I send you a private message?
thanks again for your reply

[gunshotbeauty.livejournal.com]

yes that was me! absolutely PM me anything and everything that comes to mind when you've got some time to think. i have years of experience with mental health and wonky hormones so i'd be happy to help in any way i can. i'd also be happy to tell you my experiences in case that helps. seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist can definitely be daunting but if it feels like something you need to do i really do suggest it. sometimes you need to try a few different ones to find the right fit but once you find the right person it can work wonders. don't rush and just message me when you've got some time/energy :)

[annabelle64.livejournal.com]

i have pcos and insulin resistance. and the best thing i ever did was stop taking contraceptive pills. i had a nightmare 7 years of mood swings, dramatic ups and downs incuding some days when i just couldn't stop crying and days when i snapped at anything and everything. i felt like i was loosing myself when i was on the pill. it took me about a year to get back to 'normal', to feel in control of me and ok again.

i was on so many different kinds of the pill over the years and i regret listening to drs and wish i'd never started taking the pill. i'm currently thinking about contraceptive options and while i am thinking about hormone methods i would never take the pill again unless it was as a last resort.

[lupitaloba.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your years of trouble! That's just awful. I've heard many stories of HBC being unsuitable for people, but to go through it for so long - ugh! I'm glad that you're doing what's right for you now. Unfortunatley for me, if I want to keep taking spioronolactone (which I do, at least for a year) I have to be on a birth control as it can do some serious damage to a fetus if I happen to get pregnant - no HBC = no spiro. Also unfortunatley for me HBC is a treatment that is supposed to help reduce the risk of uterine cancer. If I don't take any meds I don't ovulate. In the past I've had periods of non-ovulation lasting 18 - 20 months. The doctors think that build up of uterine lining for so long can be a risk for cancer - sooooo, yeah. I'm kinda just doing what has to be done for the minute. I'm personally a child-free woman in a cf relationship so someday in the future I hope to be granted sterilisation or some kind, but being 31 and having a low fertility corridor due to PCOS I think if I can stick out the HBC for the next 12 or so years I won't have to go through sterilisation.

I really wish the best for you in your situation and hope that things work out. xo

[annabelle64.livejournal.com]

yeah i have had very big gaps between periods too. which can be great as i don't have to deal with period time but i also get horrible pain that gets worse until i do bleed. so sometimes not having a period is absolutely awful. so i totally understand.

have you looked at other hormone methods? i currently am because i've learned from lurking around here that the method of hormone delivery can affect how someone reacts to the hormones. i'm hoping other options don't effect me as badly as the pill, i couldn't imagine 12 years on the pill. i hope you find a solution.