How do you tell a new boss you need to take time off for therapy?

[swirvel42.livejournal.com]

Hey awesome people!

I've been in contact with WOAR to get set up with therapy to deal with some stuff that happened a long time ago. When I first started talking to them and when I had my intake I was not working and wasn't sure if/when I would be working. I had hoped that I would be a couple of sessions in by the time I started, but it took awhile and I haven't even started one. When they were trying to set me up with someone, their latest appointment was at 5:30 in the evening, I start work monday (2/13) 45 minutes away from my house in a different state and I'm scheduled to get off at six. To make their latest appointment I would need to get off work at 4, drive 45 minutes home, drop the car off, and then take the bus for 30 minutes to downtown (I can't afford parking in the city).

This is only a temp position and is only supposed to last for about 2 months, and I'm not sure that they would be okay with me leaving work 2 hours early one day every week, even though I'd be more than willing to stay late one or two days a week AND skip my lunch that day.

My mental health is super important, because I'm absolutely not okay (possible bi-polar and/or ptsd,  major depression, and anger issues, all untreated), but I desperately need the job (we are barely able to pay our bills and buy food).

How do I bring this up to my supervisor without disclosing too much information and without risking my job? Is there any way I can demand this time off? Help! What do I do?

Comments

[ripcurled.livejournal.com]

what does WAOR mean?

[eavanmoore.livejournal.com]

Women Organized Against Rape. Link: http://www.woar.org/

[gryphonwing.livejournal.com]

Ugh - so hard to balance these competing needs!

I would frame it as a chronic health condition, just don't say what kind of health. Ask right up front if it's possible to work out something to get you the time you need once a week - and mention that you made these appointments before you got the position, and that it would be difficult or impossible to reschedule them. Be vague about your health concerns (mental health stigma, ick). With luck, your supervisor will be fine with sorting something out. If the supervisor says no, that's impossible, say okay, thank you anyway, you'll see what you can figure out.

Say this even if you already know you can't do without the therapy right now.

Then go home, think about it a while, and if you really feel that you need the therapy more than you need to work, call and tell them you're sorry, but you need to prioritize your health. It's okay to sound a bit emotional at this point. It's possible that they'll cave at this point.

I've been in this situation and it sucks. This is my best suggestion about how to make it work. Good luck.

[swirvel42.livejournal.com]

This is good advice. I really didn't want to have to bring this up my very first day, but it is what it is.

[brookiki.livejournal.com]

I think bringing it up at the early stage and being very matter of fact and making it clear that you're not asking for time off so much as a bit of flexibility in the times you work will go a long way.

Your mental health is the first priority in all of this, period. You need to get the help you need before you can do anything else, so do whatever it takes to get to the appointments and trust that something will give and things will work out in other areas.

Also, you mentioned in another comment about trying to get a 6 o'clock and none were open. Have you asked them to let you know if the 6 o'clock does open later on? At least you'll be able to honestly tell your employer than you're actively trying to get a later appointment to better accommodate your work schedule.

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

This is exactly what I was going to say. "I have a weekly medical appointment that is necessary for me to manage a chronic health condition. Because of that I am wondering if I can get a little flexibility with my hours. I need to leave at X time on WhateverDays. I was hoping I could make up the time by doing this and that."

[norainonsunday.livejournal.com]

I think this is great advice, but the only thing I'm a little concerned about is the wording "mention that you made these appointments before you got the position" because then that might cause the supervisor to wonder why these appointments weren't mentioned before when you were applying/being offered the position.

I think this is the right idea, but maybe to be clearer with the truth that you were arranging these appointments before you got the position, but were only recently given the inflexible appointment times.

[ripcurled.livejournal.com]

Is there anyway that WOAR could change the time or dates to fit in with you a bit more? I dont know enough about WOAR to know if they can do this but it may be worth ringing them and explaining to them. They may be able to change it for you.

[swirvel42.livejournal.com]

When I had my intake I asked what time their latest appointments were and they said the latest is at like 6, so when they called to schedule me I asked for a 6pm appt and none were available. The latest was 5:30 and I explained my situation. They tried to refer me to Council For Relationships, which offers therapy based on a sliding scale with I think the lowest being $20/session. Even if I could qualify for the lowest fee I can't afford it.

I told them I'd like to try the 5:30 appt, I figured leaving 2 hours early is better than coming in 3 hours late.

[margalite.livejournal.com]

It seems like a lot of the time that you need to get to the appointment involves taking care of your car. Can you see if the clinic has its own parking lot that you can use for a free/reduced price as a patient? You would still need to take some time off work but it wouldn't be as much.

Also I agree with other posters about offering to do extra work. Whenever I need to take time off work I always offer to come in on the weekend or stay late a different day. Your boss may not take you up on it but it shows that you're trying to get in all the work that you would have done if you hadn't taken the time off.

[swirvel42.livejournal.com]

Nope. They are located in the middle of downtown Philly where there is nothing but overpriced garage parking. They do not have their own parking lot and they do not validate parking.

What they DO do is give you 2 bus tokens per visit, which is awesome.

Believe me, I would drive if I could get free parking.