To avoid the hurt feelings/ego try using saying something positive about what they are doing followed by an I statement.

It felt really good the way you just rocked your hips. I think it would be really hot if you gently rubbed my clit with your palm.

You know that thing you just did, do that again and then add a little more hold time before you do it again. I would really enjoy that.

Or I orgasam so hard if after some piv you go back and rub on my clit while you finger me.

I think that most people want to please and by wording things right you could focus them on what you really like. Everybody is different and especially one night stands or even a short time hook up it is difficult to get to know your partners body. I know it is less stressful if you know something you are doing is feeling good and I am willing to try anything else.