I can climax from PIV, but I need tons of other stimulation in order to do so. Clitoral, oral, whatever, it varies, but the orgasm is never from PIV alone.
That you're not getting off from a few minutes of PIV pounding doesn't surprise me at all! It sounds like you've identified one possible solution: ask for what you need.
Granted, I've only slept with four people, but all of them were extremely open to suggestion. It could be verbal ("please x"), physical (moving their hand somewhere), or if there's some sort of written leadup, instructions in text or whatever. You're not saying "this sucks, do x", you're saying "I really like x" or "it would be hot if x".
If you feel stifled by your partner's need for reassurance, then try prefacing the suggestion with a compliment: "that feels good, even better with x" or somesuch. Also, it may be that they're not necessarily hungry for validation, but they are simply checking in with you. If someone's so sensitive that tactful, constructive feedback is painful, well...I personally wouldn't sleep with them again. But hopefully your partners are mature enough to recognize constructive feedback for what it is: a means for both of you to have really hot sex.
Yeah, these sorts of communications can be a lot easier in a long term relationship, but being an LTR could also make them more difficult. If you have a FWB or a one night stand, it might be easier to open up because you don't necessarily have to see that person again. They mean less to you emotionally, so it's less scary? That might not be the case for you, of course.
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That you're not getting off from a few minutes of PIV pounding doesn't surprise me at all! It sounds like you've identified one possible solution: ask for what you need.
Granted, I've only slept with four people, but all of them were extremely open to suggestion. It could be verbal ("please x"), physical (moving their hand somewhere), or if there's some sort of written leadup, instructions in text or whatever. You're not saying "this sucks, do x", you're saying "I really like x" or "it would be hot if x".
If you feel stifled by your partner's need for reassurance, then try prefacing the suggestion with a compliment: "that feels good, even better with x" or somesuch. Also, it may be that they're not necessarily hungry for validation, but they are simply checking in with you. If someone's so sensitive that tactful, constructive feedback is painful, well...I personally wouldn't sleep with them again. But hopefully your partners are mature enough to recognize constructive feedback for what it is: a means for both of you to have really hot sex.
Yeah, these sorts of communications can be a lot easier in a long term relationship, but being an LTR could also make them more difficult. If you have a FWB or a one night stand, it might be easier to open up because you don't necessarily have to see that person again. They mean less to you emotionally, so it's less scary? That might not be the case for you, of course.