I think you're absolutely right -- a normal, decent person would indeed realize that someone crying, asking to go home, and being intoxicated enough to throw up is not someone who is in a state to offer meaningful consent. Moreover, the fact that you felt that you had to sleep with him in order for him to help you get out of his apartment sets off major warning bells for me -- he may not have said so directly, but clearly he was behaving in a way that made you feel that way, and that was also very wrong of him, as were all of his other actions (taking you somewhere you hadn't agreed to go, responding callously to you being upset and sick, and initiating sex even though you were clearly not in a state to offer meaningful consent).
As others have said, consent is generally only considered valid when it's given by someone who is not intoxicated. How you choose to apply that to your situation is totally up to you, but do know that you definitely do not have to consider what he did okay because of what you said.
I've had something similar happen, which left me feeling pretty bad, too. I was drunk and in a guy's apartment and felt like I had to sleep with him. I was too drunk to go home (I had a car there, but I was in no condition to drive it), and he was all, "Just sleep here, there won't be any cabs this late." I also technically consented, and he wasn't physically barring me from leaving or physically forcing me to have sex, but I didn't want to. For me (and for many people, I imagine) being that drunk (drunk enough to throw up, I mean) leaves me feeling/acting pretty powerless. Sober, I probably would have pushed him off of me and left his apartment, but being drunk I feel like I let him sort of guide me into doing what he wanted to do, and I don't think that he cared much (or at all) about what I might have wanted. I felt pretty bad afterward, too.
For me, it helped to remember that I hadn't done anything wrong -- I'd trusted that another person was a good person, and he wasn't. It wasn't my fault, just as this is not in any way, shape, or form your fault. If this guy had behaved like a decent human being, nothing bad would have happened. He would have called you a cab, or let you crash on his couch, and you wouldn't be feeling the way you are.
I didn't talk to anyone about what happened, but looking back I think that that might have been helpful. If you have campus or other resources (like RAINN) that you feel comfortable drawing on, I would encourage you to give them a try if you feel it might be helpful. Sometimes just talking over your feelings with someone friendly and sympathetic can help.
As far as avoiding him, I saw in the comments that you're almost done with your program, so hopefully it won't be too difficult. Do you have one or two close friends in the same program you could ask to help you out? You wouldn't have to tell them what happened, just that you don't want to be alone with or even really talk to this guy, and ask them if they could try to stick with you in any social/academic situations where he's present, so that you're not stuck talking to him on your own.
This comment is getting super-long, so I'm going to stop now, but I'll keep you in my thoughts, and I hope that you feel better.
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As others have said, consent is generally only considered valid when it's given by someone who is not intoxicated. How you choose to apply that to your situation is totally up to you, but do know that you definitely do not have to consider what he did okay because of what you said.
I've had something similar happen, which left me feeling pretty bad, too. I was drunk and in a guy's apartment and felt like I had to sleep with him. I was too drunk to go home (I had a car there, but I was in no condition to drive it), and he was all, "Just sleep here, there won't be any cabs this late." I also technically consented, and he wasn't physically barring me from leaving or physically forcing me to have sex, but I didn't want to. For me (and for many people, I imagine) being that drunk (drunk enough to throw up, I mean) leaves me feeling/acting pretty powerless. Sober, I probably would have pushed him off of me and left his apartment, but being drunk I feel like I let him sort of guide me into doing what he wanted to do, and I don't think that he cared much (or at all) about what I might have wanted. I felt pretty bad afterward, too.
For me, it helped to remember that I hadn't done anything wrong -- I'd trusted that another person was a good person, and he wasn't. It wasn't my fault, just as this is not in any way, shape, or form your fault. If this guy had behaved like a decent human being, nothing bad would have happened. He would have called you a cab, or let you crash on his couch, and you wouldn't be feeling the way you are.
I didn't talk to anyone about what happened, but looking back I think that that might have been helpful. If you have campus or other resources (like RAINN) that you feel comfortable drawing on, I would encourage you to give them a try if you feel it might be helpful. Sometimes just talking over your feelings with someone friendly and sympathetic can help.
As far as avoiding him, I saw in the comments that you're almost done with your program, so hopefully it won't be too difficult. Do you have one or two close friends in the same program you could ask to help you out? You wouldn't have to tell them what happened, just that you don't want to be alone with or even really talk to this guy, and ask them if they could try to stick with you in any social/academic situations where he's present, so that you're not stuck talking to him on your own.
This comment is getting super-long, so I'm going to stop now, but I'll keep you in my thoughts, and I hope that you feel better.