You're right, he is a jerk. I really trust everyone in my program, and I know from experience that 99% of them are great, kind, wonderful people, so it was hard for me to believe that he would be so different - this is a place where people spend all their time talking and writing about feminist analysis, ethics, liberal politics, etc., so I just assumed we were above this kind of behavior.

I guess it's not so much that I don't want to get him in trouble as that I REALLY don't want to get into a he-said-she-said thing, where it looks like I'm making up my feelings of being assaulted to "get out of" a sexual experience I regretted. He might claim that since he went down on me, asked if I liked what he was doing and I said "yes," and I orgasmed, that it couldn't be non consensual. I do think it was a really gray area. I just don't want to have to argue with him or anyone else about it, I want to be able to move on.

But I do remember that at one point when I was crying, I stumbled up and found my purse in the dark and tried to put it on my arm and leave... I wasn't too steady on my feet at that point. He stopped me and guided me back to the bed, and eventually took the purse away from me again. I definitely feel like that was a point where he should have let me go.