Labor and delivery curiosity!

[anyakitty.livejournal.com]

Okay, I have always been SO curious about the nitty gritty details of labor and delivery. I am fascinated by those shows that come on TLC sometimes depicting natural and home births. I don't ever plan on having children but I just simply must know:

1. Is it really as bad as it is in the movies? Do people really scream/go crazy from the pain? Can you compare contractions to menstrual cramps to give me an idea of how much worse they are?

2. This is the big one... do a lot of women tear? How does THAT feel? Do they stitch you up or do you have to just let it heal or does it just simply depend?

3. After you give birth vaginally, is your vagina really never the same ever again? Is this only a physical, inside thing but also a visual, outside thing?

Please, don't spare me any details, I want it all no matter how questionable. It's either this or asking my boyfriend's sister who is pregnant for the second time and I'd rather not, haha. Thanks in advance!

Comments

[real-bethy.livejournal.com]

I'm a doula (professional pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum support person) and I've been at many births, both in the hospital and at home.

Birth isn't really like what they show in the movies. Not everybody finds birth horrifically painful (some womyn have orgasms when they give birth...check out http://www.orgasmicbirth.com/)...I think it depends on what your pain threshold is like and whether or not you are overly anxious. I've seen some Mamas have a baby while barely breaking a sweat and others labour for days (I was at a birth last month that lasted three days).

I've never had someone who was a screamer - I encourage my Mamas to make as much noise as they need to, but to keep their sounds low in their body. The more loose your jaw is, the more loose your vagina is.

Tearing depends on a lot of things: how fast did the baby come out, did the womyn do perineal massage, the position the Mama was in when she pushed out the baby, genetics, etc. Sometimes tears can heal on their own and sometimes they need stiches - it depends. Interesting fact: a lot of care providers use special thread now that provides a continuous stitch, so there isn't a "number" of stitches that people get.

Lots of womyn poop during birth. Your body often "cleans" itself out, so it's not unusual for a womyn to pee and poop a lot in labour. Plus, there is a ton of pressure on your rectum, so poop gets pushed out. It's all good though - doctors, midwives, doulas...we've seen it all and we don't get phased by the blood, poop, pee, vomit...any of it. I've had all of the above and amniotic fluid on me and I just consider it part of the job.

Two things that surprised me when I first started attending births: the bloodiest part of birth isn't when the baby comes out but AFTERWARDS, when the placenta separates from the wall of the uterus...and the smell of birth. It's kind of like a mixture of raw beef and wet cat. That might be TMI...sorry!

Every vagina is different, but most womyn don't notice much difference in theirs once they give birth. Your cervix certainly changes its size (which is why you need a different sized cervical cap or Diva Cup) but it isn't like a giant cavern where a penis, vibrator or friendly finger can get lost. It also depends on how many children you have, as well. If you have eight babies your vagina isn't going to be quite the same as it is if you have two babies...but like I said, again, the change is minimal to your vagina. You aren't flapping in the breeze or anything crazy like that. I know some people who say things like, "Oh, she's had four babies, having sex with her must be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway" and all sorts of other stupid things. That's not the way it works.It certainly helps to do Kegel exercises to keep up your pelvic strength - that's where some of the vagina's "tightness" comes from.

I'm happy to answer any questions you may have!

[whatwe-know.livejournal.com]

...raw beef and wet cat??? EEEEEWW. :) good to know, though...