herpes and condoms

[to-wong-foo.livejournal.com]

I got oral herpes from my boyfriend a while back, and I got my first (and so far only) outbreak in late April/early May.  It lasted into late May/early June.  Since then, I've been reading as much as I can, but I still have a couple questions that I can't find answers to.
- I missed the tingle in my first outbreak because of split skin on the corners of my mouth.  What exactly does the tingle feel like?  Is it like when your leg falls asleep?
- Can I expect the next cold sore to show up in the same area?
- I know canker sore =/= herpes, but since April I've been getting them [canker sores] ALL the time!  And they're big, nasty suckers.  Has anyone else experienced any relationship between herpes and canker sores?
- My boyfriend's incredibly upset that he gave it to me (I'm really fine with it).  Any cute ideas on how I can let him know I'm really fine with it?  I've told him a dozen times, but it's still tearing him apart.

On a completely unrelated note, my boyfriend and I on a whim tried a condom (I'm on bcp, so we hadn't used one since like...February).  He's a rather girthy boy, and we'd had problems when we did use solely condoms.  They never broke, but they were always very painful for him as they were WAY too small.  Fast forward to his time: we used a magnum and it was still too small!  Obviously we need a bigger size still.  I can't be on bcp forever, and even more likely will need backup at some point while I am on it.  So, we've got a couple questions:
- What wide condoms are available?  Obviously we'll try the XL magnums, but are there wider/better brands out there?  Would other materials be better or worse?
- Does anyone know any good places where we can buy a small number of condoms (like 1 or 3)?  Preferrably cheap?  I found one "xl sampler" but it was mostly 4 different kinds of magnums, which we know do not fit AT ALL.

Sorry for all the questions.  Brevity is not my strong suit obviously, haha.  Thanks so much!

Comments

[archangelbeth]

• For me, it's a little like the tingle when my leg falls asleep, and a little like the tingle of "my lips are sunburned."

• Yes, it'll probably be in the same place, but it's not 100% guaranteed. I recently had my first outbreak in years, and it was more centered than the prior one had been, and more on my normal-skin below my lip.

(I made a photo documentary! O:D )

• I don't know if there's any link between canker sores and herpes... It's possible that, if canker sores are partly related to you being stressed (as I believe some sites suggest), you're getting them because you're generally stressed, pretty much the same as how herpes tends to show up. The immune system feels a little down, and both of them jump on the wagon to be annoying.

• It may help to tell him "it's just a cold sore!" Also, once you have the antibodies in your system, you will be more protected (not 100%, though!) against catching his cold sore on your nethers from oral sex. Tell him it's like catching cow pox to avoid getting smallpox, maybe? *wry* (And, well, HSV orally is... a cold sore. Many people get them from relatives doing the smooch the baby thing. Annoying things, yeah, and a shame that you caught it and have to put up with it, but... I dunno. I've had mine for years and years and the most annoying part was how it'd show up every time for my driver's license pictures! Well, that and avoiding kissing/oral sex, but I got it long before I was doing the kissing/sex stuff.)


For condoms... You're fluid-bonded already, it sounds like, so you might want to try lambskins? Naturalamb brand in the US. It's listed as one of the "large" sizes on at least one online condom store that I recall. In our area, it's sold in 3-packs in the grocery store. They are a bit expensive, though.

Another thing you might look into, especially as backup for HBC, would be contraceptive sponges. If the spermicide doesn't bug you, then they're pretty nice -- especially if you have a lot of sex in 24 hours, so that the Price Per Sex Act goes down. Another option on the female side would be the female condom. I have some but haven't tried them. Been sick. *sigh*

Luck!

[to-wong-foo.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Now I can maybe stop smothering every weird feeling in Blistex, haha.
We've talked about spermicide as back up...I guess it's time to talk about moving to the testing stage. And I was about to order a sample of lambskins and literally within the past 3 days they stopped sending free samples! I'll definitely keep those in mind though.
Again, thanks so much!

[archangelbeth]

They're not doing the free samples anymore? *beth goes and looks in horror* Curses! O:(

Well, I'm glad I was at least a little helpful. O:>

[cheeseydreams.livejournal.com]

I was just reading up about Cold sores and mentioned in the wikipedia article is that ulcers are another symptom of HSV-1, and they are commonly confused with canker sores. I know that that isn't a definitive answer, but maybe that's what they are and not cankers? Either way, they're both annoying and painful!

[to-wong-foo.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[svexsal.livejournal.com]

for the condoms, I'd check out the condom wizard over at http://secure.condomania.com/

you can choose what kind of condom you want based off of the preferred aspect you're looking for and then go shopping for it at the store or buy it off the website. whichever works best for you :)

[to-wong-foo.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'll definitely check it out!

[snowmentality.livejournal.com]

The last cold sore I had, I thought it was a pimple -- it tingled/hurt just like when you are getting a pimple at the edge of your lip, and just started out as a small bump. Man I was surprised when it turned into a cold sore! I hadn't had one since elementary school. (Which should tell your boyfriend something: I've had it since I was a small child, probably got it from a grandparent or aunt/uncle or someone, and it's not like it's harmed my life at all. You could even be like me and not have an outbreak for years and years and years.) It went away in about a week and was generally just a non-issue.

Relationship between canker sores and herpes: STRESS. It can lower your immune system, which for me almost always results in canker sores, and the same thing can make you more prone to an outbreak of oral herpes (i.e. cold sore). Were you going through anything stressful in April/May?

[to-wong-foo.livejournal.com]

He got it from family members when he was a young'un.
Exams in April/May, but the canker sores seem to have a mind of their own. I'd really take the cold sore over those suckers. Thanks!

[chiyo-no-saru.livejournal.com]

You're right that canker sores and cold sores aren't the same thing, but the herpes that causes cold sores can also cause canker-like sores inside your mouth.