Tubes Tied...

[knblondie.livejournal.com]

I am currently 30 weeks 5 days prego with boy #2. I am married. I am 24. At my last OB appt my docotor joking asked if we were going to keep trying to have a girl. I informed him that we were done at 2 kids as that is an ideal number for me and my husband. I am having a plan c-section this time around due to tons of issues during the first labor. (PLEASE DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT OTHER OPTIONS, I HAVE WEIGHED THEM ALL OUT). My doctor asked if I wanted my tubes tied while he was delivering my son. I really didn't have an answer. I had never though it. I mean after all I am only 24. Now that I have thought about it I would like to hear other stories of women who have it done. I know it would be nice to have a "permanent" form of BC. But I also feel like I would be losing my woman-hood. I am just not sure I am ready for that big step.

I would just love to hear everyone's opinion. I was also totally shocked that the dcotor suggested it since I am, well at least I feel, so young.

Thanks in advance,
Katie

Comments

[metalkprtty1day.livejournal.com]

I think that in that situation, I would feel more comfortable with my husband getting a vasectomy. (provided he was comfortable with one, of course.) My understanding is that a vasectomy is a far less invasive procedure. Granted, since you'll be getting a c-section, they'll pretty much be in the area anyway, but I still think I'd be more comfortable the other way.

I personally wouldn't think of a tubal ligation as a loss of womanhood, but it is very permanent. With a vasectomy, it is a permanent form of bc, but should you decide several years down the road that you really do want another child, there's a fairly good chance that you can have his procedure successfully reversed.

I think that I would have a hard time shutting the door on future reproduction so firmly. If you know absolutely that you don't want any more kids, then it could be a good option for you. Personally, I have a tendency to change my mind about things a lot. :P

[knblondie.livejournal.com]

A vasectomy was our plan from the beginning. Even before we found out about #2. I know that it can be reversed if for any reason we change our mind. I just had never even thought about getting my tubes tied.

It just seem so permanent that I am sure I am not ready for it.

Thanks for posting.

[jennifer0246.livejournal.com]

A vasectomy and tubal ligation are both permanent sterilization methods. They are not to be considered reversible. If you and your husband are seeking a method that is reversible, you should consider something like an IUD, diaphragm, or hormonal contraception.

non-confrontational question

[frecklestars.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, where'd you get that info? I have _always_ been told vasectomy's are reversible. Link please?

Re: non-confrontational question

[jennifer0246.livejournal.com]

I will happily source anything I say :)

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0876.html
http://www.reproline.jhu.edu/English/6read/6multi/sdg/vas.htm
http://www.health.gov.ab.ca/public/bc_vasec.html

Re: non-confrontational question

[frecklestars.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

I always feel like my disclaimer is necessary, because a flat-out question from me often comes off as uber bitchy. :P Sometimes I hate the Internet, but only because of the lack of inflection, facial expressions (except for limited emoticons), etc.

Re: non-confrontational question

[ktnzgtklws.livejournal.com]

A vasectomy is reversible... but what they dont' tell you is that the trauma inflicted on the area from the first time makes what few sperm do manage to crawl through the now re-built and scar tissue filled vas deferens are usually so bad in all important areas (morpholigically, motility, and concentration), that all that money you dumped on the first procedure, quadroupled to have reversed, was basically wasted. WHEW! Yay for the run-on sentance! lol
(If you're wondering why I know this, I used to study under a professor that did semen analysis. He loved human, vasectomy reversal samples. They were full of everything that could possibly be wrong with semen, and made great examples for he lectures! lol In case you're wondering, bull semen tends to be the best for good samples.)
If you're having ANY doubts at ALL, don't do it. Look in to an IUD! :-) A very, very, very effetive form of birth control that allows you to change your mind, if at 30 you're struck by baby-itis out of nowhere. ;-) After birth would be a good time to have one put in, too, since your cervix will be nice and dialated. I'd talk to your OBGYN about one to get more info.

[ninaf.livejournal.com]

Actually, you are better of with tubal. If you decided to have kids, you could have IVF. A friend of my did just that and now she has twin daughters.

That is a lot easier than reversal for a vasectomy.

[100ofme.livejournal.com]

I have two boys. I had my last son at age 31. I absolutely positively do not want any more children under any circumstances. I still could not go through with getting my tubes tied. I made my husband get a vasectomy instead. I actually was all set to have my tubes tied when I was at the hospital with my son. They were going to do it the next day. The evening before I chickened out and decided not to do it. I just didn't want to stay in the hospital another day, didn't want any more needles stuck in me (I had a vaginal birth and would have had to get the epidural all over again to get the surgery). I decided it would be so much easier for him to get fixed instead. And even though I don't want anymore children the idea of not being able to have anymore was sad to me. It took me so long to get the two I do have.

[100ofme.livejournal.com]

I don't have the ability to edit this but I wanted to add that if for some reason my husband and I were no longer together you can better believe the first thing I'd be doing is getting my tubes tied.

[c0verthisup.livejournal.com]

hey feel free to not answer this, and i hope you don't find this offensive.. i'm genuinely curious-why would you be getting your tubes tied if you were no longer with your husband?

[100ofme.livejournal.com]

Hi I'm not offended at all... But if my husband and I were to ever split up I'm not going to stop having sex. I mean I don't forsee us splitting up we've been married for 16 years, but sometimes things happen when you least expect them. Anyway... I'm not going to stop having sex and I most certainly don't want anymore children so if the day ever comes where I start having sex with someone else I want to be sure beyond a shadow of a doubt I won't get pregnant.

[knblondie.livejournal.com]

I so agree with your last statement. It seems sad to me to give up child bearing at such a young age even though I am sure we don't want any more kids.

[imnotyourstarx.livejournal.com]

its the symbolism of it.

ill echo what has already been said - vasectomies are far easier and reversable. seems perfect, to me.

we are planning one for my future husband. they just seem like the cleanest, easiest solution.

[jennifer0246.livejournal.com]

Please do be aware, vasectomies are NOT reversible. In certain limited circumstances reversal can be attempted, but they need to be considered permanent contraception.

[imnotyourstarx.livejournal.com]

yeah, thats true. but isnt there a higher chance of them being possibley reversable than tubals?

[wenchlette.livejournal.com]

As someone that's a child of a woman who lost her fertility at the age of 23 (she has her uterus removed due to hemhorraging complications that were still occurring 9 weeks post-partum), I'm happy that she didn't see her inability to have further children as a loss of her womanhood. I'm now in a position where conceiving a child and maintaining a pregnancy would be a long process, involving lots of monetary resources and still consider myself very much a woman.

That being said, I totally understand what you're thinking. It's a base thing, I think, the ability to have kids being linked to your having good feelings towards your womanhood.

As with everyone else - vasectomy = less invasive! :)

[pretty492.livejournal.com]

My mother had my sister and I at 22 and 25. When she was 29 she married and we welcomed his daughter who is a year older than me into our family. This was enough, sometimes an older sibling stayed with us and we had a houseful! Just a week shy of her thirty-second birthday mother gave birth to our little brother. During her c-section she had her tubes tied.
It is very permanent. You'll still have all your womanly parts and your womanly cycle. If your looking for something that allows you to possibly change your mind maybe talk to your husband about him getting the snip. It's an in office procedure that takes fifteen minutes and is possible to repair if need be.

[banjololo.livejournal.com]

You'll still have all your womanly parts and your womanly cycle.

You still have your period after tubal ligation? How is that possible?
Sorry, I guess I just don't know much about it, but I'd always assumed that cut in fallopian tubes= egg not getting to uterus= no period. Am I missing something?

[marionravenwood.livejournal.com]

Menstruation doesn't care where the ovum is, it just cares that implantation doesn't occur, and the menstrual cycle is due to changing levels of hormones rather than where anything is. During the follicular phase of your cycle (between your period and ovulation) rising amounts of estrogen cause the uterine lining to thicken. Then after ovulation progesterone levels rise causing changes in the uterine lining to prepare for possible implantation of a fertilized egg. If implantation doesn't occur (i.e., you don't get pregnant), both progesterone and estrogen levels drop sharply, which is what causes a period. You're right that if you have a tubal the egg dies in the fallopian tube and is reabsorbed by the body instead of dying in the uterus, but that doesn't affect hormone levels and therefore doesn't affect your period. Does that make sense?

[banjololo.livejournal.com]

ah yes it does, thank you.

[pretty492.livejournal.com]

Your body still goes through the motions. The eggs mature and your ovary releases one but it has nowhere to go. When you're on the pill your body doesn't let the eggs mature to be released but as long as you take the placebo pills you still have a period. The lining in your uterus builds up and sheds regardless of whether or not it gets an egg.

[banjololo.livejournal.com]

Thanks for helping me understand :)

[daddysaysto.livejournal.com]

I'd like to point out that vasectomies are SOMETIMES reversible. It's not a sure thing. Neither, for that matter, is a tubal. I have TWO aunts who both have had children after their tubals were supposedly done and "there is no possible WAY I'm pregnant!"

http://www.vasectomyinfo.com/ says, "One in ten men undergoing vasovasostomies and two out of five men having a vasoepididymostomy have no healthy sperm after surgery."

However, http://www.tubal-reversal.net/ claims that "Although tubal reversal is not right for everyone, Dr. Berger can successfully repair the fallopian tubes in 98% of women who have had a tubal ligation, regardless of the type of sterilization procedure."

[kuangning]

I had one after my third child was born -- I was supposed to have one after my second, but my place of employment went out of business just before, completely screwing me for insurance. It's been eight years now, and I have to say that while I don't regret the choice, it was absolutely the right one at the time, sometimes I've been a little wistful at the way things turned out.

I also have to warn you that my periods got ever more erratic as time went on, and my Planned Parenthood wound up putting me on hormonal birth control for awhile to straighten them out. Seems that a large number of women who have tubals wind up having hysterectomies within ten years to solve the menstruation problems the tubals introduce. Had I known that, it wouldn't have changed my choice, but it would have given me pause.

That said, tubals are, depending on how they're done, reversible. If they only put in clamps, those can be removed and the blockage either removed or cleared. If they cut the tubes and cauterised them, which is less common now, they can be re-cut and sewn back together.

[storychick.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't do it, unless you are 1000% sure and feel good about it. It is permanent, after all. We ended up having one more after being totally sure we were done with 2 (yes, on purpose lol) and I cant describe how big the difference is between "yes, I think we are done" and "OMG We are SO done now". It was great to be absolutely sure, and I am so glad we didn't do anything permanent before then. (My hubby got the Snip -- and let me tell you, it was so easy and hardly any discomfort for him, and its been wonderful. I figured it was his turn after 3 pregnancies and 6+ years of breastfeeding and all the pills and IUDs etc that I had to suffer through lol).

[reichell.livejournal.com]

My aunt got her (I think) ovaries removed. She doesn't get her period anymore. She only had one child, and only wanted one child. When I was younger, and had my period, I always thought it was so cool that she didn't. It doesn't make you any less of a woman no matter what procedure you have. You still have your girly bits. You just don't have all the stuff that goes with it. Period, childbirth. Although, I hear that the period is actually good for you, it gets rid of junk in your body. So, it's all up to you. But, as far as losing femininity goes, I think that's silly.

[jennifer0246.livejournal.com]

oopherectomy is not an elective procedure, by and large -- it's typically done for medical reasons (cysts, PCOS, endometriosis, cancer, being a carrier for the BRCA gene).

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

Tubal ligation can cause quite a bit of hormonal disruption, it's something to be thought about seriously. If you are probably done with your family but don't want to do something permanent, look into the LARCs (long-acting reversible contraceptives). On the hormonal side, this includes Implanon and Mirena, and for non-hormonal you have the copper IUD. All of these cover you for years at a time (up to 12 for copper IUDs), and have effectiveness rates slightly above sterilisation.

[marionravenwood.livejournal.com]

Tubal ligation can cause quite a bit of hormonal disruption,

No, it doesn't. Tubal ligation is physical. There's no hormonal aspect to it. The ovaries keep on doing what they've always done.

Sometimes women who've been on HBC have tubals and notice their cycles change, but it's due to coming off HBC, not sterilization.

[ninaf.livejournal.com]

You should look up post tubal ligation syndrome.

[marionravenwood.livejournal.com]

I'm familiar with it. There's no scientific basis for it. I'm not saying people don't feel what they feel, but there's no physiological reason why having your tubes tied would affect your hormones.

[pocochina.livejournal.com]

Being a generally indecisive person, I've always felt pretty strongly that tubal ligation was not for me,* so please take this with a grain of salt.

It's permanent, and there are other long term options, so it seems to me that having your tubes tied has the potential to be, as your instincts seem to be saying, too big a step, and an unnecessary one at that, since there's HBC (and vasectomy, and an IUD, and, and, and...).

Also, good luck! :)

*I want to be clear that I think it should be an option for every woman who does want it, I just want to be honest about where I'm coming from.

[misslynn.livejournal.com]

if i were you -- and i'm clearly not, so take it with a grain of salt -- i would look into an IUD. they are good for 5-10 years depending on which one you get, and as good a birth control option as getting your tubes tied without actually having that operation.

that said, i don't believe that losing your ability to reproduce makes you less of a woman... there are plenty of childless, childfree and infertile women out there.

[kelism.livejournal.com]

Since it doesn't look like anyone else really addressed this part of your question:

I was also totally shocked that the dcotor suggested it since I am, well at least I feel, so young.

I assume he suggested it to you because you told him you were done having children. Plus, if you're having a C-section they can do it all at once (can't they?), saving you another surgery later (if you ended up deciding to have it done anyway).

I have a friend who had her tubes tied in her early 20s after having two kids. She was so sure she was done and was pushing her doctors until they would do it.

[betsy-bobbin.livejournal.com]

I actually just got Essure done this week. I also have 2 boys. However, I have been 100% sure that I am done with having children for over a year. I would not consider sterilization unless you and your husband are 100% on it.

If you feel like you aren't totally sure, I would look into other options. You might try an IUD if you are looking for longer term but not permanent birth control.

[hexvenus.livejournal.com]

wow I'm amazed he suggested this.
In Australia women can't have their tubes tied before they are 30... at least that's what I've been told.

Have you thought of getting an IUD? You can get 5 year IUD's or the Implanon (which I would NEVER recommend, but it seems to work for some people)

[marionravenwood.livejournal.com]

In Australia women can't have their tubes tied before they are 30... at least that's what I've been told.

I don't think this is the case, but I can't find anything that proves it one way or another. This Australian site (http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Female_sterilisation?open) mentions that doctors are often hesitant to perform sterilization on women under 30, which would imply that it's doctor preference rather than law. Many people believe that in the US there is an age or number of children requirement before you can get your tubes tied, when in fact there is no such law, although younger childfree women may have difficulty finding a doctor. I would start with
Marie Stopes Australia (http://www.mariestopes.com.au/), since their policy states they do not discriminate against young women who want sterilization.

[hexvenus.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I certainly don't want it done! I'm only 27 and not finished with my child-bearing (I hope) heh.

I have a friend who had one child and didn't want anymore. She went to every doctor in town (Gyno's too) and was told that no one would sterilise her before 30.

This was about 4 or 5 years ago, however, maybe things have changed since then.

[marionravenwood.livejournal.com]

No, more likely the doctor was just letting their personal agenda cloud their decision. There's no law that says you have to be a certain age, the doctor just wouldn't do it and wanted the patient to believe no one else would either. Totally unethical.

[hexvenus.livejournal.com]

extremely so!! This honestly distressed my friend a great deal, thinking that she had no control over her own reproductive future.
I'm glad to hear that this was just a lie.