I just wanted to pipe up and say I agree with a lot of your frustration and concern here.
I think the social anxiety and stigma surrounding STIs can indeed be all out of proportion to the reality. One could probably write a book on the various reasons why that is... a subconscious desire to judge or "punish" sexual activity, a fear of something that is supposed to be desirable producing undesirable results, etcetera.
For me personally? Over the years, especially thanks to my time on vaginapagina, I've really come to categorize most STIs as being no different than any other bacterial or viral infection. Genital herpes is no more frightening than oral herpes; genital warts are easily treatable and rarely return; HPV itself is usually benign; chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis can be easily diagnosed and treated with regular preventative care.
In effect, most STIs are little to no different than plantar warts, the common cold, or the flu. This isn't to say that safe sex practices should be tossed by the wayside, but that the fear and stigma of STIs is entirely unwarranted, especially if one is in a position to access appropriate medical care.
The question, though, is what effect that should have on disclosure. In that case, some considerations have to be balanced. For instance, I agree that oral herpes and genital herpes should really be given the same treatment... but for the majority of people, a genital herpes infection is indeed much more frightening than oral herpes.
Taking that into account, I'd have to recognize that any partner who obtained genital herpes from me (well, I don't have HSV2, but let's say I did) might very well feel betrayed, angry, scared, frustrated, and hurt. Because of this, I'd have to choose that disclosing to them my past history with HSV2 would be the right thing to do for them as well as for the relationship; allowing another to make an informed choice is always the superior option in terms of mutual respect and empowerment.
no subject
I think the social anxiety and stigma surrounding STIs can indeed be all out of proportion to the reality. One could probably write a book on the various reasons why that is... a subconscious desire to judge or "punish" sexual activity, a fear of something that is supposed to be desirable producing undesirable results, etcetera.
For me personally? Over the years, especially thanks to my time on
In effect, most STIs are little to no different than plantar warts, the common cold, or the flu. This isn't to say that safe sex practices should be tossed by the wayside, but that the fear and stigma of STIs is entirely unwarranted, especially if one is in a position to access appropriate medical care.
The question, though, is what effect that should have on disclosure. In that case, some considerations have to be balanced. For instance, I agree that oral herpes and genital herpes should really be given the same treatment... but for the majority of people, a genital herpes infection is indeed much more frightening than oral herpes.
Taking that into account, I'd have to recognize that any partner who obtained genital herpes from me (well, I don't have HSV2, but let's say I did) might very well feel betrayed, angry, scared, frustrated, and hurt. Because of this, I'd have to choose that disclosing to them my past history with HSV2 would be the right thing to do for them as well as for the relationship; allowing another to make an informed choice is always the superior option in terms of mutual respect and empowerment.