mass in uterus and feeling bad about myself

[kelpgarden.livejournal.com]

So I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to try some of the stuff from a sex book I got for him. But then just now he told me he didn't want to "stir up the pot" because of my "mass" (I'm getting an MRI on Sunday for a mass, probebly a fibroid, found in my uterus during an ultrasound)and he didn't want to make it worse. But now I just feel contaminated and horrible about myself! I called my dad earlier to tell him about the "mass" and ask about my mom who had a hysterectomy at 38 (my age. ps my mom is dead so I can't ask her about it) because of fibroids. He freaked when I said my doctor was a midwife and said I need to go to a gynecologist and my mom was so much better after her hysterectomy. I DON'T want one of those I'm worried I won't feel like a girl anymore and I still haven't had children!

I just feel really alone about this now and freaked out and horrible about myself.